The events reported in the police report section of the newspaper are sometimes so outlandish, you'd think they were pulled straight out of a Seinfeld episode. Take the sitch described above, for example. Parents were up in arms about the creepy perv watching their kiddies' every move from a window all day every day — only to discover that their "perv" was a cardboard cutout of the Terminator. Read more

When a giant hole in the wall appeared out of nowhere, the town had a good idea who their suspect was. For more pics of the crime scene in question, click here. View 3 Photos › Photo 1 Photo 2 Photo 3 Thanks, eBaum's World! Read more

Some dude decided to rob a liquor store, but encountered one problem: he had no weapon. So Desperado improvised by grabbing a palm frond and holding it in the air like a spear. The video surveillance footage below also shows him waving the frond around and pounding it on the counter while demanding $50 from the clerk. Did our dumbass get his money? Let's just say the "super-scary" leaf in his Read more

When the going gets bored, the bored get . . . naked? Carl Wagner reported that he grew bored one day, so he thought to liven things up by stripping down and robbing a local minimart. Naturally. To be fair, he wasn't fully nude; boyfriend had the decency to wear a hat. A bad hair day is a terrible thing to show off, unlike a compulsive fetish for flashing . . . (Thanks, eBaum's World!) Read more

Dude was afraid the officer might make him share. . . Source Read more

If the cop kept his eyes open the entire time, then he technically cheated. Do over! Thanks, College Humor! Read more

Conn. Teacher Calls Police Over Impromptu Karaoke A schoolteacher was working after hours and thought she was the last person in the building. Imagine her surprise when she heard, "You're in the jungle baby. You're gonna die!" over the loudspeaker. Not much of a Guns n' Roses fan, she took the death threat seriously. Six troopers and three police dogs later, they all discovered that the school Read more

The last time we caught up with Batman, he was throwing punches at some random dude on Hollywood Boulevard while waiting for the cops to show up. Here he is again getting arrested over a porta-potty dispute in the same location. I guess superheroes have needs too, but couldn't it have waited, Batman? And also, get the hell out of Hollywood. It's no good for you. Read more

They're calling it the "flatulence fallout" cuz the man behind the gun pulled the trigger after getting teased for passing gas. Thankfully, no one was hurt— except for the gunman and his ego. I'd say the news team took a hit too, for covering such a redonkulous story. Read more

Daft Burglar Writes Name On Wall Criminals must be really hard-up for attention these days. An 18-year-old dumbass vandalized a children's campsite, of all places, and made sure to "represent" in black magic marker before fleeing the scene. He got the recognition he wanted, of course, along with a fat punishment to reward all his hard work. To read more, click here. read more Read more