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Crime Watch
News to Amuse
The events reported in the police report section of the newspaper are sometimes so outlandish, you'd think they were pulled straight out of a Seinfeld episode. Take the sitch described above, for example. Parents were up in arms about the creepy perv watching their kiddies' every move from a window all day every day — only to discover that their "perv" was a cardboard cutout of the Terminator.
Have No Fear: Captain Obvious Is on the Case
When a giant hole in the wall appeared out of nowhere, the town had a good idea who their suspect was. For more pics of the crime scene in question, click here.
Thanks, eBaum's World!
Dumbass of the Day
Some dude decided to rob a liquor store, but encountered one problem: he had no weapon. So Desperado improvised by grabbing a palm frond and holding it in the air like a spear. The video surveillance footage below also shows him waving the frond around and pounding it on the counter while demanding $50 from the clerk.
Dumbass of the Day: Nude Dude Robs a Mini-Mart
When the going gets bored, the bored get . . .
Dumbass of the Day
Dude was afraid the officer might make him share. . .
Dumbass of the Day
If the cop kept his eyes open the entire time, then he technically cheated. Do over!
Thanks, College Humor!
Headline of the Day
Conn. Teacher Calls Police Over Impromptu Karaoke
A schoolteacher was working after hours and thought she was the last person in the building. Imagine her surprise when she heard, "You're in the jungle baby.
Batman: Up to No Good Again
The last time we caught up with Batman, he was throwing punches at some random dude on Hollywood Boulevard while waiting for the cops to show up. Here he is again getting arrested over a porta-potty dispute in the same location. I guess superheroes have needs too, but couldn't it have waited, Batman?
Dude Passes Gas Then Fires Weapon
They're calling it the "flatulence fallout" cuz the man behind the gun pulled the trigger after getting teased for passing gas. Thankfully, no one was hurt— except for the gunman and his ego. I'd say the news team took a hit too, for covering such a redonkulous story.
Headline Of The Day
Daft Burglar Writes Name On Wall
Criminals must be really hard-up for attention these days. An 18-year-old dumbass vandalized a children's campsite, of all places, and made sure to "represent" in black magic marker before fleeing the scene. He got the recognition he wanted, of course, along with a fat punishment to reward all his hard work.
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