TresSugar

Would You Try Shaped Condoms to Increase Pleasure?

DearSugar — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 10:00:00 -0800

Condoms help prevent STIs and pregnancy, but let's face it - wearing one doesn't feel as good as wearing nothing at all. Manufacturers try to make them more appealing by adding color, scents, or flavors to them, but some condoms also offer unique shapes to intensify your pleasure. But are they really worth the extra dough? It's all about personal preference when it comes to shaped condoms - the only way you'll know if they make sex better is to give them a try, so here are some you may want to pick up. Enjoy!

Source

View Slideshow ›

Dear Quiz: How Well Do You Know Condom Brands?

DearSugar — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 12:00:00 -0700

If you've ever wandered down the feminine hygiene and condom aisle at your local drugstore, then you're sure to have noticed what amazing varieties there are in the world of condoms. There are different styles, sizes, colors, flavors, and of course, brands competing for your use! I'm sure many of you have sampled a few, but do you know your brands by the box? Take my quiz to test your knowledge!

Source

Question 1 of 8

Touted as being ultra thin, which brand is this?

Hump Day: Is It Safe to Use Tight Condoms?

TresSugar — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 10:00:00 -0700

Welcome to Hump Day, TrèsSugar's sex advice column. Are you confused about sex? Do you have trouble having an orgasm? Is there something you'd like to try but you're worried it's too weird? Send your questions to TrèsSugar, and our friend Dr. Charlie Glickman from Good Vibrations will offer his sound advice!

Today's Question:

"My boyfriend and I have been dating for a few months and we’re not ready to have sex without condoms, but he says that the ones that we’re using are too tight. We're going to get bigger ones of course, but in the meantime, is it safe for us to use these? I heard that condoms can stretch a lot and fit anyone." To see what Dr. Glickman has to say, read more

You can fit pretty much any condom over your arm, so the complaints that some guys may not fit might be more about their perception than anything else. Unfortunately, we don’t yet live in a world where people can buy condoms with the length and width clearly printed on the label, much less in lots of different sizes. But don’t worry - you have some options.

First of all, adding a little lubricant (a couple drops inside the condom before putting it on) will decrease the chances the condom will break by minimizing the formation of air bubbles in the head of the condom. It will feel better, too. (Avoid lube on the shaft of the penis, which can make the condom slide off.) Latex has more friction than skin does, so a little extra lubricant on the outside can help a lot, too. This probably goes without saying, but never use oils with latex condoms; they can make them break in about 30 seconds!

Another option is to change what brand of condom you’re using. American-style condoms like Lifestyles, Trojan, and Durex are made from a somewhat thicker latex so they’re less sensitive and more tight. That’s not always a disadvantage, since some guys find that the decrease in sensation helps them last longer. But if your boyfriend is looking for something with more stretch, try a Japanese-process condom like Kimono, Skinless Skin, or Paradise. These condoms are made from a thinner, stronger, and stretchier latex so you both get more sensation. And they fit larger penises more easily.

You could also try one of the condoms that feature a larger head. The extra room at the head means that the latex slides back and forth, which provides extra sensation. The shaft of the condom is about the same width as other brands, reducing the chance of it sliding off. Just make sure to use a little lube on the inside since the extra friction can be a bit too much for some guys. Pleasure Plus and Trojan Twisted are popular brands.

Lastly, check out the new Skyn condoms. Instead of the traditional latex, they’re made from polyisoprene. It’s a much stretchier and more sheer material than latex, so they feel great for both people. It’s also a good option for people with latex sensitivities. Polyisoprene is a form of rubber, just like latex, so keep oils away from it.

In closing, here's a list of some of the more common brands and their dimensions. Have fun, and don't forget - if you have a sex question, send it to TrèsSugar!

Hump Day: Why Do I Get Dry Sometimes?

TresSugar — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 04:00:00 -0700

Today's Question:

"I get really dry sometimes when my boyfriend and I are having sex. I know all about lubricants, but I'm having trouble guessing when I might need help." To read Dr. Glickman's response, read more

There are a lot of reasons why women experience fluctuations in how much they lubricate. For some, it’s just part of the menstrual cycle. Some women lubricate more at ovulation, while others say that’s when they’re driest. Lots of women also report that their vaginal lubrication changed when they got pregnant and again, some say that they became much wetter and others say that they got drier. So while we know that changes in hormones can influence it, there’s a lot of variation in how much and in what direction. It’s also worth mentioning that menopause generally reduces how much lubrication your body will produce.

Lots of medications and drugs also affect vaginal lubrication, even if it’s rarely listed on the bottle or box. For example, allergy medications are formulated to dry the mucous membranes in your sinuses, but they can do the same to the vagina. Anti-depressants, antihistamines, anxiety medications, smoking cigarettes or marijuana, and drinking alcohol can do the same. In general, if a medication or drug makes your mouth or sinuses dry, it could also reduce vaginal lubrication. Unfortunately, most doctors are unaware of these effects or they don’t feel comfortable talking to their patients about it.

I think it’s really unfortunate that we have this cultural myth that vaginal lubrication is proportional to arousal. Many women find that they can be totally turned on while being pretty dry and others might be quite wet while barely aroused. The best thing we can do is learn to separate the two things in our minds.

You say that you know about lubricants, but for the folks who don’t, here’s a little info.

There are pros and cons to the lubricants on the market, and it can take a little experimenting to find one that will work for you. You might also find that a lube that worked great for a long time isn’t working so well anymore. It’s kind of like shampoo or skin lotion - after a while, you might need to change brands as your individual chemistry changes.

Water-based lubricants can be thin and slippery, or they can be thicker gels. They rinse away really easily, making cleanup a snap, but they do dry out after a while. The glycerin-based lubes last a bit longer, but they tend to get sticky when they dry out. You can add a little water or saliva to freshen them up. While glycerin doesn’t cause yeast infections, it can make one worse if you get one for some other reason, so if you’re prone to yeast infections, avoid these lubes. The glycerin-free lubricants don’t get sticky, but they usually don’t quite last as long. They soak in like hand lotion, so adding water doesn’t work; you need to add some more.

Silicone lubricants don’t dry out (so if you spill some on the kitchen floor, be sure to wipe it up) and are hypoallergenic. They’re also waterproof, which is a plus if you want to have sex in the shower but it can make them a bit trickier to clean up and they sometimes stain sheets. They’re also hypoallergenic and have no taste or scent.

Some people like to use oils as sexual lubricants. If you want to give them a try, use something organic and vegetable-based, such as coconut or almond oils. Mineral oils like baby oil or Vaseline actually dry the skin since the body can’t absorb them or break them down. Coconut oil is solid at room temperature, so it doesn’t go rancid. Keep almond oil in the fridge. And never use oils with latex condoms, diaphragms or cervical caps. Oils will make them dissolve: a condom will break in about 30 seconds if it comes into contact with oil.

A few tips for using lubricants. First, keep the bottle near the bed. You’ll want to be able to grab it when you need it. Second, pump bottles make it a lot easier to add more without fumbling to get the bottle open. Third, if you accidentally get too much lube out of the bottle, don’t put the extra back in. You don’t want to contaminate the bottle with anything that might be on your hand. And lastly, many lube makers offer single-use packets or small bottles. While they cost more per ounce than larger bottles, you can stick them in a pocket or purse pretty easily, not to mention your carry-on bag.

So I think that the best thing for you to do is to keep lube handy and use it when you need it. It takes about 5 seconds to apply and it’ll make sex a lot more fun. And don’t stress about whether it means anything that you sometimes need a little extra slipperiness.

Don't forget to send your questions to TrèsSugar, and our friend Dr. Charlie Glickman will offer his sound advice!

Hump Day: I Don't Like Hormonal Birth Control, So Now What?

TresSugar — Wed, 02 Sep 2009 04:00:00 -0700

Welcome to Hump Day,TrèsSugar's sex advice column. Are you confused about sex? Do you have trouble having an orgasm? Is there something you'd like to try but you're worried it's too weird? Send your questions to TrèsSugar, and our friend Dr. Charlie Glickman from Good Vibrations will offer his sound advice!

Today's Question:

“I went to my OBGYN to ask about non-hormonal birth control. (The Pill basically ruined my sex drive.) She pushed the Pill and the Nuva Ring, and said that condoms have a 15 percent failure rate. I don’t like that she was pushing hormonal birth control. Is it possible for hormonal birth control to lower your desire, and if I don’t want to use it, what’s my best, and safest, bet?”

To hear Dr. Glickman's advice, read more

Unfortunately, yes, birth control pills can lower libido. There are at least a couple of reasons for that. First, the Pill inhibits the production of androgens by your ovaries, including testosterone. While ovaries don’t produce as much testosterone as testicles do, it’s still an important part of women’s sexual arousal. The Pill also seems to increase the production of sex-hormone binding globulin (SHBG). SHBG binds to testosterone, which further reduces the amount of it that you have available. On top of that, an article published in the 2006 Journal of Sexual Medicine found that some of these changes may last for quite a while after you stop taking the Pill. Some women report that the NuvaRing has similar effects, although others don’t have any change in their libidos and others actually have an increase in sex drive.

15 percent is a bit higher than many estimates for condom failure rates, but part of why it’s hard to pin down more precisely is that many of the reasons for condoms not working is user error. Here are some tips on reducing the odds of that happening. And since each brand of condom is a bit different, this page has lots of advice for finding the right one for you.

Even though condoms aren’t 100 percent effective at preventing pregnancy, they go a long way towards lowering your risk for sexually transmitted infections. But if your focus is on contraception rather than STI prevention, there are some other options. Intrauterine devices (IUDs) are a lot more effective and safer than is popularly believed. They are currently available with or without hormones, although it’s worth noting that the level of hormones that end up in your system is a lot lower than what you get from the Pill and the non-hormonal IUDs can cause heavier menstrual bleeding or cramps.

Unfortunately, most of the more effective forms of contraception either include some form of hormones or are irreversible. The only other way to avoid pregnancy is to keep sperm from coming into contact with the ovum. Obviously, condoms do that, but if you want other options, you might want to check out cervical caps which have about a 10 percent failure rate if you’ve never given birth vaginally and a 25 percent failure rate if you have. (You can reduce that with a spermicide.) You could also check out the vaginal contraceptive film, a strip of spermicide that you insert into the vagina where it melts and provides up to three hours of protection. It also turns out that withdrawal is more effective than was previously thought, with an 18 percent pregnancy rate. Since these other approaches are clearly less effective than implants, the Pill or other hormonal methods, a lot of people use more than one. Condoms plus cervical caps or condoms plus withdrawal improves your odds a lot.

I’d really like to see some other forms of birth control that don’t mess with women’s hormones; so many women report having all sorts of side effects. There are some gel products being developed that will (hopefully) be effective as both contraception and STI preventatives and at least some of them are working their way through clinical trials. So eventually, there will be something better for you but in the meantime, I hope this helps.

Hump Day: Is My Cold Sore Contagious?

TresSugar — Wed, 12 Aug 2009 06:00:00 -0700

Welcome to Hump Day, TrèsSugar's sex advice column! Are you confused about sex? Do you have trouble having an orgasm? Is there something you'd like to try but you're worried it's too weird? Send your questions to TrèsSugar, and our friend Dr. Charlie Glickman from Good Vibrations will offer his sound advice!

Today's Question:

“I know that cold sores are the same virus as herpes. Is it a bad idea to go down on my boy when I have one? Is it transmissible that way?” To hear what Dr. Glickman has to say, read more.

Dr. Glickman's Answer:

YES!!!

There are two types of herpes virus: HSV-1 and HSV-2. Oral herpes is usually HSV-1 and it’s estimated that 80 percent of the population has been exposed to it. Genital herpes is usually HSV-2 and it’s estimated that 25 percent of women and 12 percent of men have it. However, genital herpes can be caused by either version of the virus, so going down on someone when you have a cold sore (another name for a herpes outbreak) can spread it. To make things a bit more complicated, only about 1/3 of the people who have genital herpes are aware of it - either they’ve never had an outbreak or the outbreak was very mild. (See herpes.com for more info.)

Part of what makes herpes tricky is that it can be transmitted even when you don’t have a visible outbreak. The virus lives in your nervous system and every so often, it’ll come to the surface. It’s especially likely to happen when you’re sick or have been stressed for a while. There’s evidence that the virus starts shedding from the skin (and is therefore potentially contagious) before any visible symptoms. It’s a low risk, but it’s a possibility. To make matters worse, if the site of the shedding isn’t covered by a condom, it can be spread even when you’re practicing safer sex.

While herpes can be uncomfortable, it doesn’t represent nearly as much risk as other sexually transmissible infections (STIs) such as chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis, human papilloma virus (HPV), or HIV. Having said that, there’s evidence that HSV-2 makes HIV transmission more likely. See this article for more information about how that works.

It’s also worth mentioning that I’ve seen a lot of people get really upset about STIs when they don’t get nearly as upset about any other health issue. I’ve also seen a lot of people who have all sorts of judgment about STIs but think nothing of going to work and sharing their flu germs (or worse)! STIs can be unpleasant, annoying, or life-threatening, but they don’t mean anything about the person who has them any more than chicken pox or measles do. Negative attitudes about STIs are a holdover from before we invented antibiotics and when diseases such as syphilis were seen as the wages of sin. But now we know that they’re just germs and we don’t need to shame people for having them. (Not that I’m saying that you’re doing that, but I wanted to mention it.)

The best thing that we can all do is to get tested for STIs regularly, even if you’ve never had a symptom. Lots of people have STIs and don’t know it. Check your local Planned Parenthood or other agency for information, although I recommend going with anonymous testing in order to ensure your privacy.

And safer sex is always a good choice. It’s easy to do, with a little practice. Using a lubricant can make safer sex more enjoyable since latex tends to have a bit more friction than skin. Try a silicone-based brand if you’re prone to yeast infections. Water-based brands are a bit easier to clean up since they rinse away.

If you or your partner don’t like the way condoms feel, try a different brand. The Japanese-process condoms such as Maxx and Skinless Skin are more sheer than other types. Or you could give Skyn a whirl. It’s made from polyisoprene, rather than latex, so it’s very sheer and both people will get more sensation.

Given that you have oral herpes, you might want to talk with your boyfriend about using condoms for oral sex. If you go that route, change the condom before having intercourse. That will make sure that you don’t spread the herpes virus to your vulva or vagina. It’ll also reduce the risk of your condom breaking; teeth can cause small abrasions that weaken the condom.

For an excellent, sex-positive read on safer sex, check out The Hot Guide to Safer Sex . It’s full of helpful advice and great tips.

Dear Poll: What's Your Favorite Brand of Condom?

DearSugar — Fri, 07 Dec 2007 11:00:00 -0800

Condoms are great for so many of reasons. They can prevent pregnancy when used correctly, they protect your from STIs, and they can also make sex last longer if your guy has a hard time holding in his orgasm. So I want to know . . .

The How-To Lounge: Prevent Condoms From Breaking

DearSugar — Thu, 12 Jul 2007 08:00:00 -0700

Condoms are a pretty popular form of birth control because they help prevent you from getting STIs and from getting preggers. This is true when they are used properly, and when they don't break. I recommend using latex condoms, or polyurethane ones if you have a latex allergy. It's also important to know that Natural Lamb condoms don't protect against STIs, but will protect you against pregnancy.

So how can you prevent the dreaded "condom breaking" nightmare? Here are some very important tips to keep in mind:

When the guy puts the condom on, he must make sure to leave some space at the top (the tip) so there's room for the semen he ejaculates. If you don't, pressure can build up and cause the condom to break.
Friction is a bad thing when it comes to sex - it feels bad and can put too much pressure on the condom. Make sure that the woman is lubricated, either naturally (it happens when the woman is aroused), or with the help of a personal lubricant. Just so you know, oil-based lubes (like baby oil or Vaseline) can break the down the latex, so onlly water-based lubricants (like Astroglide or ones made byKY) should be used with latex condoms. Oil-based lubes are however safe to use with plyurethane condoms like Avanti brand, since they are made out of non-latex material. You could also try using lubricated condoms.
2 condoms are NOT better than 1. "Double Bagging" as it's called can actually cause more friction, which can cause rippage.
Always use a new condom each time you have sex. The package should be opened carefully, men- don't use your teeth- and the condom should be slowly unrolled all the way down the shaft of his penis.

Want to know some other important tips? Then read more

When you're done having sex, one of you should hold onto the open end of the condom (the rim) as the guy pulls his penis out of the vagina. One common problem is when the guy pulls out and the condom remain inside the woman - semen could, and most likely will, accidentally fall out. It's imperative that the used condom is taken off in a way that keeps all the semen inside, then throw it out!
Condoms slipping off inside the woman can be a problem too, so be sure he is wearing the correct size - if it's too big it will fall off and if it's too tight it could rip. Also keep in mind that if the guy loses his erection while inside the woman, the condom can become loose and slip off.
Never use a condom that has expired. Never use a damaged condom or one that looks discolored, dry, or shriveled up.

These are things every girl should know to keep herself STI and pregnant free!

Source

This Week With DearSugar

DearSugar — Sat, 01 Nov 2008 04:00:00 -0700

How well do you know your condom brands? Take this quiz and find out!
Check out these weird sex statistics!
Out of these men of primetime, who would you do, dump, and marry?
Where do you stand on using a condom when you're married?
Is a guy being a sports lover important to you?
Handle this: Your boyfriend wants you to have anal sex with him!
What are you going to do with the extra hour?
There are some benefits to a long-distance relationship, you know!
Is checking out your lady business a do or a don't?

Dear's Top 10 Quizzes of 2008

DearSugar — Mon, 29 Dec 2008 09:00:00 -0800

Quizzes seem to be one of your favorite features on Dear, and I'm glad because they're not only fun, they're educational too! Below are my 10 favorite quizzes of 2008, but if yours isn't listed, tell us what it was in the comments section below!

Source