TresSugar

Furniture and Fried Chicken: Together at Last!

GiggleSugar — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 09:00:00 -0700

This commercial gets off to an unimpressive start - take a look at that rat hole they call a warehouse - and it only gets worse from there. "I say, I say, I say" are Frankie and Johnnie selling furniture, dance lessons, or fried chicken? Bad dancing belongs in every low-budget commercial, but I'm still trying to connect the dots between furniture and fried chicken- buy a couch, get a grease stain for free?

If Your Guy Won't Wear a Condom . . .

DearSugar — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 10:00:00 -0800

When entering a new relationship, sometimes a passionate moment takes hold of you, and there's no stopping what's about to come next. If you're unsure about the guy's STI record, then you'll most definitely want him to quickly slip on a condom so you can get back to getting it on, but what if he refuses? Well here's one way to deal with it!

So have you ever had to walk away from sex with a guy because he wouldn't slip on the love glove?

Dirt Cheap ("Cheep, Cheep!") Commercial

GiggleSugar — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 10:00:00 -0700

Microsoft recently suspended an ad campaign featuring Bill Gates and Jerry Seinfeld because no one liked it and it failed to make them look cool. (I love ya, Jerry, but since when does Jerry Seinfeld make anything look cool?) I'm sure they spent a bajillion dollars on it, and it doesn't come close to the awesomeness of this Dirt Cheap commercial. The message is simple. The "actors" in it (and I use the term loosely, unless you count a person in a chicken suit an actor) are charming. And it makes me want to go buy booze from Dirt Cheap. What more could you ask for? "Cheep, cheep!"

Tampax Really Knows How to Nix the Menstruation Taboo

GiggleSugar — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 12:00:00 -0700

As if there isn't enough weirdness surrounding the menstruation taboo, the creative minds over at Tampax deem it fun and appropriate to suggest that menstruating women can suck the water up out of pools - because of the highly absorbent artillery they shove up themselves for period relief. Thanks to tampons, absolutely nothing can escape a menstruating woman's vajayjay. Nothing! Which is exactly what we women want: the ability to suck everything up there. Right?

Charmin Thinks Ass Hygiene Is the Sh*t

GiggleSugar — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 15:00:00 -0700

Have the toilet-paper people run out of crap to talk about? For a long time, the buzz was about how "soft" various brands were, followed by the exciting "double-roll" sitch, and now . . . TP butt residue? This is fearmongering at its finest. I can't say I'm familiar with the "pieces left behind" problem, but now that Charmin raises the issue, I'm officially paranoid. Toilet paper clinging to my shoe, I can handle. Butt my ass? Let's not go there.

What's the Big Idea Behind This Sneaky Gatorade Ad?

GiggleSugar — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 15:00:00 -0700

I watched the following vid and was overjoyed to see a chick finally kick arse at a male sporting event. But a little research later revealed that our bat girl never made this Spidey-inspired catch; the vid is actually a staged advertisement for Gatorade. The illegitimacy of the play makes me wonder if the Gatorade folks are mocking women's athletic potential with this ad, or on the flip side, if they're seeking to unsettle established gender norms and advance the girls-can-do-anything message. Or a bit a both? Tell me what you think.

Warning: Buy This Car and You Will Get Eaten

GiggleSugar — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 15:00:00 -0700

The folks over at Ford wanted to announce that their Ka city car is now roomier and can accommodate more peeps. Why they chose to market this message by showing a (nonpurple) people-eating monster binge on a car full of defenseless passengers is beyond me. It's just doesn't seem very kosher.

Isn't the "Cashman" a Little Too Old for This?

GiggleSugar — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 07:00:00 -0700

This ad starts out as any low-budget pawn shop commercial would: some overly energetic douche stands too close to the camera while begging to buy your junk from you. But William Oliver, the self-titled "Cashman," doesn't settle for run-of-the-mill. He knows how to differentiate himself from the rest - by way of a sleazy jingle and a few scantily-clad backup dancers. Novel, no?

Horny Hedgehog Sells a Sponge

GiggleSugar — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 08:00:00 -0700

Sex sells, but there's nothing remotely sexy about a sponge, especially a dirty sponge. Well, some advertising sleazeball thought a filthy sponge was exactly what this world needed, so he made hedgehog-on-sponge porn and called it a commercial. It's shameless, unnecessary, and my poor dishes now feel betrayed.

Flashback: '50s Cigarette Commercial

GiggleSugar — Sun, 08 Jun 2008 03:00:00 -0700

The smokers of the 1950s had no idea just how harmful lighting up could be. At the time, there was no hard evidence to definitively link cigarette use with chronic or fatal health conditions, so tobacco companies had free reign to claim that their "snow fresh, filtered cool" smokes would leave the throat feeling refreshed and clean. Hmm. Is that what throat cancer feels like? I can only imagine. (Want more old-fashioned cigarette propaganda? Click here.)