TresSugar

What We're Sweet On: Clever Dry Shampoo

Miriam Lacey — Thu, 15 Sep 2011 05:05:00 PDT

Dry shampoo is such a useful little item, but the very nature of the stuff presents a problem. It's like shampoo, but it's not, and most of the time it's perfumed to smell like something else, whether the scent is lemon meringue or night-blooming jasmine. Which is all well and good, except for one thing: it doesn't actually smell like shampoo.

Enter Clean Dry Shampoo ($18), which is a nice powder-based formula that actually smells fresh and soapy. It's also great for volumizing fine hair and covering up roots if you've been hitting the bleach bottle a little too hard.

Skip Junk Food With These Kid-Friendly Grocery Shopping Tips

LilSugar — Fri, 10 Sep 2010 06:00:25 PDT

There's no need to toss junk food into the trash if you never buy any! Moms often find themselves in the kitchen cleaning out the pantry much to their children's chagrin. We asked Clean Food ($20) author Terry Walters, who encourages families to eat "close to the source," to give us some tips for choosing (and controlling) what goes in the shopping basket. Here's what she had to say:

Turn grocery shopping into a game. The rules are simple. Just focus on foods that come from a plant (the green kind, not the manufacturing kind) and in all of the colors of the rainbow (Fruit Loops don't count!). With the rules set, your children are ready to go off on a healthy and educational scavenger hunt to find the best items for your family.

Look for items from each of the food groups. Make sure you have whole grains, vegetables, legumes (beans), nuts, seeds, fruit, and more.

Fill your cart with as few packaged items as possible. If it doesn't come in a package, you know it's minimally processed!

Avoid artificial ingredients. Teaching kids to read labels is easy. I have my girls (10 and 12) look at the ingredient list and make sure they can imagine how each entry grows. If they can't translate it in their minds, chances are they won't be able to translate it in their bodies either!

Look for seasonal produce. These items tend to be showcased in the produce section, but a trip to a farmers market or local pick-your-own farm is a great way to learn about what's in season in your neck of the woods.

Keep reading for more helpful tips.

You Asked: How Do We Even the Playing Field?

DearSugar — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 06:00:00 PDT

Dear Sugar,

My boyfriend and I have been together for more than six months and although we are from drastically different backgrounds, we love each other very much. The problem we face stems from the fact that in our previous relationships, we were each the one who wore the pants and we were both the dominant ones. He is loud, outspoken, highly opinionated, and sometimes very arrogant - I am exactly the same way.

He expects me to be the perfect domesticated woman - cook, clean, and listen to every word he says without a complaint. I have tried to give in and meet him halfway by doing things I have never done before (like cooking and cleaning up after him), and I have toned down my attitude by listening more, but he does not feel the need to compromise as well. His responses always end with "because I am the man and you are the woman," and it infuriates me to be treated this way. If I anger him or say something wrong, he will retaliate by hurting me 10 times as much as I may have hurt him. All this is just to try and tame me or break me to become the woman he wants me to be. I know deep down this relationship has potential - we push each other to be the best we can be, we think alike, we are each other's best friend, and the sex is fantastic - but without any help from him, I'm starting to lose faith. How do I make him understand that this has to be a two-way effort? - Making an Effort Emma

To see DearSugar's answer,

read more. Dear Making an Effort Emma, When two people with the same stubborn personality date, it's not uncommon for them to butt heads, but unfortunately this situation sounds a bit more extreme. Since he wants you to be a domesticated woman, something tells me that's what his mom was for his father, but he needs to understand that's not the role all women play. It's also pretty clear that he has a volatile temper, but the foundation of a good relationship is based on love and respect, not who can hurt each other more. Since you say this relationship has potential, I think it's great that you're trying to meet him halfway, but if he's not willing to do the same, you might be running uphill for the duration of this relationship. His chauvinistic attitude will most likely not change, so instead of trying to be someone you're not, try talking to him and letting him know that you're not willing to sacrifice your beliefs. You need to stand up for yourself, Emma, and as scary as it might be to potentially lose your boyfriend, if he's not willing to accept you for you are, I think you'll be better off if you go your separate ways. You deserve to be with someone who's not afraid to let the woman wear the pants every once in a while! Source

You Asked: My Fiancé Is a Control Freak

DearSugar — Fri, 25 Jul 2008 17:00:00 PDT

Dear Sugar,

My fiancé and I have been together three years now and will be getting married in a month. I love him dearly - he is a generous and very strong man. I've been off work for almost five months because I've been struggling with depression. Before, I had been working as a graphic designer at the same company as my fiancé - he managed me on multiple projects. I was beginning to feel like I had my boss at work and at home so I quit. Since I've been home, I've started doing all the cooking, cleaning, laundry, and housework and when my fiancé is home, he just plays video games.

When I first met him, he was a total slob and never picked up after himself; he's an only child who's used to having his mom do everything for him. I grew up in a big family where organization was mandatory. Needless to say, I like things clean. My fiancé makes almost triple what I did, plus he works long hours, so I don't expect him to come home and cook and clean - plus doing all the chores doesn't really bother me.

The problem is that even though he doesn't help out, he is constantly telling me how to do things down to the littlest detail, like how he likes his socks rolled and the order in which I wash the dishes! When I explain to him that I don't appreciate his nagging when I'm trying my best, he'll throw a tantrum and it ends up being my fault. I love him, but I'm feeling resentful. How can I fix this?

- In Need of Respect Rita

To see DearSugar's answer,

read more. Dear In Need of Respect Rita, If your fiancé micromanaged you in your last job the way he does at home, it's no wonder you needed time off. Frankly, I don't care how many hours your fiancé works, he has no right to be so unappreciative and demanding when you're trying your best to keep the house in order without his help. He's acting like he's still the only child of the family! It's time to put those selfish desires behind him before he commits to being a husband, which is one member of an equal team. You have to have a serious heart-to-heart before it's too late and this unacceptable behavior becomes an endless pattern. If he wants to yell at you and get upset then that's his choice, but you have to be able to speak your peace. Explain to him that you're happy to accommodate his ideas, but you need him to approach his requests in a much kinder and respectful manner. Obviously he's gotten used to this lifestyle, so it may take multiple conversations to make your point. Let him know that he's hurting you, and in turn putting your relationship in danger. If this continues into your marriage, I highly recommend you seek therapy to combat it before your resentment takes over, which it inevitably will at this rate. Good luck. Source

The How-To Lounge: Getting Organized

DearSugar — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 09:00:00 PDT

Even if you’re more clean than messy, it’s still easy to end up with more than a few disorganized piles of stuff lying around the house, office, car, or even in the depths of your purse. Most of us function better in an organized environment, so if you have some clutter getting you down, see my tips and

This or That: Slovenly or Porn Habit?

DearSugar — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 12:00:00 PDT

After nearly two years of harmonious dating, you and your boyfriend have decided to move in together. You’re both extremely excited about the prospect, but after only a few weeks of living under the same roof, you’re learning a few things you never knew. You’re still compatible in most ways, but would it be worse if he . . .

This: Has no ability or desire to keep any portion of the place clean or tidy? You can take messy, but it’s the grime, filth, and caked on crumbs that are killing you.

Or . . .

That: Has a very persistent habit of watching porn until the wee hours of the morning? He only does it after you go to bed, but it stills feels too often to be healthy.

Source

You Asked: I'm Tired of Being His Maid

DearSugar — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 06:00:00 PDT

Dear Sugar,

My boyfriend and I have been dating for three years and living together for the past two. From what he has told me, he grew up in a house that was a disaster, which became a way of life for him. There were dishes and clothes everywhere and dirt all over the house - nobody cared to clean and he grew comfortable with that.

I, on the other hand, come from a family of neat freaks. I grew up vacuuming and dusting nearly every single day. My mom was very strict about how we kept our bedrooms and as a young adult, I adopted some habits of my mother's compulsive cleanliness. I'm by no means as harsh as she was but I like the common areas of our apartment to be clean. I like when trash goes in the trash can, paperwork is on the table (not the floor), and food isn't spread all over the countertops.

My boyfriend and I have had numerous, calm discussions about keeping things clean and he's agreed to help, but that hasn't happened. I find myself frustrated to the point where I end up throwing a fit about his disgusting living habits. I am at the point where I'm about to move out. I'm tired of acting like a slave and feeling unappreciated for keeping things tidy. What should I do? I still want to live with him because I love him, but I'm tired of being the maid!

- Clean and Tidy Cate

To see DearSugar's answer,

read more. Dear Clean and Tidy Cate, Cleanliness is a huge factor when it comes to being able to live with someone harmoniously, especially if that someone is your significant other. Obviously you've tried discussing this with your boyfriend to no avail but before you pack your bags, try bringing it to his attention again, this time with a clear set of instructions. Write out a list of the things that need to be done every day and then another list for things that need to be done each week. Be fair - you may have to make some sacrifices, too, so only list the things that really matter to you. Sit down with your boyfriend and break the list in half, working together to divvy up the chores. Get in the habit of cleaning together to make sure things are completed. It seems juvenile, but I do think that cleaning can be learned over time. When you do sit down and talk to him, don't be afraid to tell him that you're at your wits end. He may need to really hear that you're planning on moving out if things don't change. Likewise, keep in mind that he was raised in a completely different lifestyle than you - he might not even know how to clean! - and just as you're stuck in your ways, he is too. Be patient with each other and be ready to compromise. Source

Casa Quickie: Keeping Track of Sponges

CasaSugar — Tue, 18 Mar 2008 14:00:40 PDT

Sponges often have a hard time staying so fresh and so clean, especially when they're asked to do double duty. Who hasn't grabbed the dishwashing sponge at one time or another to clean up spilled milk on the kitchen floor? We've probably all done it, even though we know it's not a good idea. Mixing uses for sponges is a great way to spread bacteria. Instead of risking it, take a tip from my sister, who clips off a corner of her general cleaning sponge, which she uses for cleaning up counters and tabletops. By simply clipping a corner, she never accidentally uses that counter sponge for washing dishes, and thus, is able to keep her kitchen sparkling clean.

Source

Beauty Mark It Results: A Spring Scent

BellaSugar — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 15:00:59 PDT

To get geared up for Spring, I asked you all to share some of the perfumes you are loving this season. There was quite a bit of love for Marc Jacobs scents, but I wanted to highlight two different reader picks here.

Baby Girl says gets tons of compliments when she wears Sweet Layer by Clean, describing it as "full of citrus and sugar, just clean-smelling." If you're looking for something a little more light and crisp, FinnLover is addicted to Young Sexy Lovely by Yves Saint Laurent. She says it's "romantic, sexy and fresh."

Thanks so much to all of you who shared your suggestions! Check out the rest of your picks below.

You Asked: Can I Force Them to Clean?

DearSugar — Mon, 05 Nov 2007 06:00:00 PST

Dear Sugar,

I live with my boyfriend and his brother, mostly for financial reasons. If I had the money, I'd live just with my boyfriend. Kris, who is 26, just moved out from his mother's house. He's a very nice guy but he is the baby of the family. His mother always cleaned up after him, cooked for him often, did his laundry, cleaned his room on occasion, kept the kitchen clean, did his dishes, the works. Now that we all live together, I find that Kris doesn't do a very good job of cleaning up after himself. I'm not perfect, believe me, and neither is my boyfriend, but when the trash is full, I don't think that it's common sense, or very nice, to just pile things on top of the lid rather than take the trash five feet to the garage!

I am the only person in the house who puts my dishes in the dishwasher, turns it on when it's full, and empties it when they're clean. I've avoided doing it occasionally to see who will do it without my asking, and neither of them will step up to the plate. The dishes will pile in the sink while the dishwasher is full either with dirty or clean dishes. If I ask my boyfriend to do it, he'll complain about my "nagging." Finally, the kitchen will get so disgusting that Kris will call their mother and she'll drive the 20 miles to our place and clean it up for them.

The main problem is that I find it offensive that their mother, my potential mother-in-law, still babies them. I feel like this is our house, I live here too, and that the people who live here should take care of it and come to an agreement. I can't really put into words WHY I find it offensive that she cleans up after them, but in some ways I feel like she's looking down on me as a bad "woman" because I'm not doing a good enough job at keeping a clean house. My boyfriend thinks I'm crazy for feeling this way yet doesn't do anything to chip in. How can I convey to them how I feel? Am I really just acting crazy? Please help! - Living with Two Slobs Tommye

To see Dear Sugar's answer

read more Dear Living with Two Slobs Tommye - When you share living space with someone, it's imperative to be respectful of your roommates, and it sounds like your boyfriend and his brother are just so used to someone picking up after them that they don't know the basic fundamentals of cohabitating. With that said, you need to lay down the law ASAP. Living together before marriage is a good way to get a glimpse into the future, so set your ground rules now before it's too late. If I were you, I would call for a house meeting and suggest hiring a maid immediately. If you split the cost three ways, it can't be all that expensive and it will eliminate the "nagging" that your boyfriend feels and the frustration you feel about the boys being slobs. To maintain a clean house, I would also fairly assign chores and make sure they understand how important it is to respect each other's living space. You are not crazy for feeling the way you do and I happen to think it's completely inappropriate that their mother still cleans up after them. She certainly isn't doing them any favors by continuing to baby them. Hopefully, once the maid comes on a weekly basis and everyone pitches in accordingly, you will be future mother-in-law free and living in a clean house before you know it. If they aren't willing to change their lazy ways, you're going to be better off living on your own. Good luck! Source