TresSugar

Relationship Protocol: What Chores Do You Do as a Team?

DearSugar — Mon, 20 Oct 2008 17:00:00 -0700

I hate doing chores - what a way to ruin a good weekend or evening! I always get them done, but I do find myself moping through them most of the time. I can certainly see why it’s so appealing to share the burden with someone else or at least have company while you’re stuck doing it. Having a partner to help handle life’s daily chores and weekly errands is definitely a perk of being in a relationship. And when you live together, it especially comes in handy. What chores do you do as a team? Or do you each do your own thing?

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Dear Poll: Have You Ever Ratted a Guy Out to His Mom?

DearSugar — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 15:00:00 -0700

Even if a guy isn’t the quintessential mama’s boy, most men with strong ties to their family still have a lot of respect for their moms. In fact, sometimes she’s the only one who can knock some sense into him. My friend recently took this notion to heart when she called her boyfriend’s mom to complain that he wasn’t doing his fair share around the house - of course she subtly dropped that tidbit into a larger conversation, but it did the trick! Have you ever shared a grievance with a guy’s mom to get him to shape up?

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Relationship Protocol: Who Puts Dinner on the Table?

DearSugar — Fri, 15 Aug 2008 07:00:00 -0700

Sexual stereotypes in relationships are still alive and kicking no matter how hard we try to fight them. Although it's getting more common for men to help with the housework, it's usually the women who end up picking up after their men. But when it comes to cooking, I think the playing field is a bit more even. My best friend, for instance, is a great cook so she's the one who's always in the kitchen, but another good friend of mine doesn't even know how to boil water! Luckily for her, her husband knows a thing or two about food, so he's the one who plays chef in their house. What about you? Who is the one that usually puts dinner on the table in your relationship?

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Dear Poll: Are You a List Maker?

DearSugar — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 14:00:00 -0700

Although I’m not a fan of running errands, I am a complete believer in the to-do list or any kind of list for that matter. Sometimes, in a busy day, the only way to keep track of things is to write them down. I even have running lists of movies I want to see and books I want to read. But lists are only as effective as their writer wants them to be, and I know they aren't for everyone so let me ask: are you a list maker?

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Relationship Protocol: Household Chores

DearSugar — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 14:00:00 -0700

No matter where or how you live, chores need to be done in every household, and when you live with your significant other, you're one of the lucky ones that has someone to split the grunt work with! Most couples I know divvy up their chores fairly evenly, albeit in a slightly sexist way: The woman makes the bed, does the laundry, and tidies up the house, while the man takes out the trash, does the dishes, and scrubs the toilets. Sounds like a good deal to me!

So now that I'm curious, tell me, how do you split the household responsibilities in your relationship? Do you have even duties, or do you feel the pendulum swings one way much more than the other?

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Do Tell: What's on Your To-Do List?

DearSugar — Thu, 08 May 2008 14:00:00 -0700

Lately it feels like there just aren't enough hours in the day. I'm constantly feeling the pressure of the clock and these days, the only way I keep myself organized is by writing a to-do list. The sense of accomplishment I feel after crossing something off the list makes me want to keep conquering each and every chore until there's nothing left to do. So in an effort to get an even closer look inside your everyday lives, do tell, what's on your to do list?

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Group Therapy: He Won't Lift a Finger!

Tue, 15 Jan 2008 03:00:00 -0800

I have been married for almost six years. At first my husband would help out around the house, nothing big, but he would at least pick up after himself. Now, he does nothing. At first I figured he was just comfortable being his messy self, but now I think he is just lazy. He rarely does anything, even when I ask him to. Today for example, I cooked him a big dinner (roast beef, mashed potatoes, stuffing) and asked him to help me out with the dishes. He didn't even have the guts to tell me no, he just laughed and walked away.

I am sick of being treated more like a maid than a wife, and I really resent that he won't at least pick up after himself so my "job" of cleaning up the place isn't more difficult. Help!

[EDITOR'S NOTE: To be involved in more GROUP THERAPY, click here]

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Got Household Chores?

GiggleSugar — Sat, 01 Dec 2007 02:00:00 -0800

Have you been neglecting those much needed home repairs and around the yard responsibilities? The following spokeswoman knows how to get the ball rolling on overdue household chores. Take note.

You Asked: He Won't Help With the Chores

DearSugar — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 06:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar--

I've been with my boyfriend for two and a half years now and we've been living together for a year and a half. The things is that we always have those kinds of arguments that people have when they live together - about things he's left around the house, about the bathroom being messy, and about him not helping with the dishes, etc.

Yesterday he told me that he wanted to get his own place for a while since we're always arguing about household stuff. He wants to see if things improve in our relationship. I know that he is certainly not thinking about breaking up with me, but I feel bad about him moving out. I'll miss him, and I like sharing our home. On the other hand, I think that I should let him go so he can miss me and not take me for granted.

What should I do? Let him go for a month or two, or insist he stay??

-Loving Living Together Laura

To see Dear Sugar's answer read more

Dear Loving Living Together Laura--

You are describing the problems that all couples have who live together. If he takes a "break" and moves out for a while, it won't magically solve these problems. As soon as he moves back in after missing you for 2 months, your problems will still be there. I suggest that he doesn't move out.

The only way to fix these problems is to be proactive about it. You've got to sit down together and set up some guidelines and a cleaning schedule so you each know who is responsible for what. You should both be in charge of cleaning up after yourselves, and when it comes to other household chores, you can either take turns or assign certain chores to each person. Maybe he does the vacuuming and takes out the trash, and you do the dishes and clean the bathroom.

It sounds like he's freaking out about having to answer to someone and he doesn't like being nagged. When he lived alone, he could do what he wanted and leave his dirty underwear on the bathroom floor. Now that he's living with you, it's all about respecting the space that you two share. Cleaning the house is no fun for anyone, but it's just not fair when one person is doing all the work. Once you guys work out a schedule, you'll be able to focus on the fun parts of your relationship.

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The How-To Lounge: Ironing

DearSugar — Fri, 17 Aug 2007 10:00:00 -0700

I personally don't own an iron -- I would rather take my blouse, skirt, or trousers to the dry cleaners and have them steam out any wrinkles, but sometimes that's just not in the cards, so luckily I know how to iron! If you need a few pointers, click here to read more

Make sure you give your iron ample time to heat up
Always read the label on your clothing and change the setting accordingly. Using the wrong setting and temperature could ruin your favorite shirt in seconds. If the care label says not to iron -- DON'T
Note that cotton and linens need high heat, wools and cotton blends need medium heat, and silk, polyester blends, nylon and acrylic need low heat
Stretch your item tight across your ironing board and iron with smooth even strokes so your garment looks consistently wrinkle free
Always keep your iron in motion when it's on your garment or else you run the risk of burning it
If you're ironing a collared shirt, it's recommended to start with the collar, both the front and the back, then move down to the cuffs of the sleeve, then to the sleeve, then to the back and front of the shirt
If you're ironing pants or a skirt, turn them inside out and if you're ironing a skirt or dress with pleats, start at the bottom and work your way up to the top of the pleats
Don't neglect your pockets. Iron them flat or else they will stick out and cause bulkiness
If you're handling delicates, an iron with the capability of steaming might be better suited for your needs and don't forget to add water while preheating. Hand held steamers are always a great way to de-wrinkle your clothing as well, especially if you have a lot of delicates
Whenever you're done ironing any kind of garment, make sure to hang it. Since it's still hot from the iron, folding it will make new wrinkles, and if you're ironing a button down shirt or jacket, make sure to button the top button so it keeps its shape. It's also recommended to not wear your garment for at least an hour after ironing it because it will be more susceptible to wrinkles

I hope these basic tips help any of you iron rookies out there, and as always, please let me know if you have any quick and easy tips that I might have missed!

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