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What the Hell Are Kids Watching?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but pointing is rude, no? So why is this creepy ass puppet on The Wiggles explicitly instructing our impressionable tykes to point their fingers — up, down, every damn place? (Then there's the question of where this puppet is pointing exactly — down where?) Sesame Street may get a bad rep, but at least Big Bird and the gang aim to teach our kids a little more than how to hold their own at a rave.
Saturday Morning Cartoon: Maraka!
Dora the Explorer has a "bad seed" in the fam and her name is Maraka. Girlfriend is a Spanglish-speaking, foul-mouthed little spitfire who engages in Dora's signature question-and-pause-pause-pause-for-answer games. But Maraka's questions are different from Dora's.
There's A Party In My Tummy!
Some parents have trouble getting their kids to eat and this is probably why. If I were an impressionable young child and overheard my food sing about having a kegger and trashing the inside of me, I wouldn't touch my carrots either. Children's TV is so wacked out these days.
Fire The Translator
This Dutch-language children's show has a pretty messed-up translation. The Mormons did what?! Don't fart where?
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Subtle!
I don't know about you, but I like to describe products just as if I were in a commercial! Or, in this case, as if I were in a soap opera and doing really unsubtle product placement for Prego's heart-smart sauces that are oh, so deliciously nutritious for you and your loved ones.
Kiddie Show: Rainbow
The writers of children's programming place a high priority on making their shows entertaining for adults and children alike — but this is something else. Rainbow, a '70s UK kiddie show, upped the ante on adult entertainment value. The following clip from the "Twangers" episode was a staff joke that was jam packed with innuendo.
Men in Thongs: Yea or Nay?
An eagle-eyed reader recently alerted Joel McHale from The Soup to soap star Cameron Mathison's thong-slip in an episode of All My Children. The bane of my existence, thongs are a wear-only-if-you-need-to appurtenance. If you're wearing bulky jeans, as this dude is, why on earth .
Ever Wonder What Happened to David "Bud Bundy" Faustino?
From Married . . .
Recalled Children's Books
Someone with a wicked sense of humor "retouched" the covers of some classic kiddie books. The artwork remains the same for the most part, but the titles have been edited — for better or for worse? — I'll let you decide.
Children's Books You'll Never See
Grimm's Fairy Tales aren't exactly shielding Junior from nightmares, but these book titles are without question in the "too much, too soon" category. (Thanks, eBaum's World!)
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