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Sugar Editorial Picks
I Suddenly Lost My Appetite
Honey Monster is the face of Sugar Puffs, a brand of cereal sold in the UK, and I'm just not buying how this dude is marketable. He's big, burly, and sounds like he has a relentless case of indigestion — yum! As this commercial demonstrates, he can sit down to breakfast and get his crimp on, but he doesn't have the courtesy to clear his throat.
Flashback: Honey Bear and the Super Sugar Crisp Wh*re
Honey Bear and his tiny-waisted, blond hussy of a girlfriend ward off an eco-hatin' villain in this '70s cereal ad. The antipollution message was ahead of its time, but what's with the Paris Hilton look-a-like here? And why is she so blatantly sex driven?
Photoshop Anyone?
I think someone had a little too much fun "fixing" this woman's abs.
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Dumbasses Of The Day
Who can deny the addictive yumminess of Cinnamon Toast Crunch? It's one of the best cereals out there, but does it really need its own rap song? I guess if a blah cereal like Rice Krispies has the Snap, Crackle and Pop trio to boast of its morning flava, then why can't CTC have these dumbasses?
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Ill-Conceived Breakfast Cereal Ideas
We all know that breakfast cereals are a big money maker for food titans such as Kellog and General Mills. What is breakfast cereal, really? Some sugary corn by-product with a snazzy box and perhaps a prize for the kiddies.
Flashback: Quisp Cereal Commercial
Everybody in the 60's seems to have been drinking the Kool-Aid--and eating the Quisp. And by "Kool-Aid" and "Quisp" I mean goofballs and acid. How else to explain this knitting alien wacko as the spokes-cartoon character for sugared cereal?
An Ode to Milk and Cereal
It's the simple things in life that give you pleasure. The smile on a child's face. The first dew of Spring.
Gimme That Breakfast Bar!
This fella eats a Nutri-Grain bar and gets a life-altering attitude adjustment. Meanwhile, I eat one and all I get is hungry a half hour later. Life is so unfair.
Flashback: Ben Stiller as Bono in a Cereal Commercial
Oh, man. This is vintage Ben Stiller again from his '90s show. Here he is mocking U2 (but mostly Bono) in their Achtung, Baby and Zooropa era.
Flashback: Every Wifey's Beauty Secret Circa 1930
If I knew all I had to do to look "cute" on a daily basis is guzzle down a few vitamins, as well as cook, clean, and dust for a patronizing male punk, then — where's my shot glass? "Vixen" by way of vodka is more the look I'm going for.
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