TresSugar

When the Going Gets Tough: Revelers Flee Burning Man Dust

CitizenSugar — Mon, 01 Sep 2008 00:00:50 -0700

While Hurricane Gustav is grabbing the top weather news slot, for those making the trek into Black Rock Desert for the annual Burning Man Festival this weekend, the weather was also an unexpected performance art piece in the form of a dust storm.

The storm was caused by a cold front moving through the region and turning the atmosphere into a “total whiteout”, according to a commander at the Federal Bureau of Land Management.

Although no damage was reported, nor any injuries, the BLM claims that the storm did chase away some would-be counter-culture revelers. Though Saturday morning the crowd reached a new record of nearly 49, 600 up 2 thousand from last year, many left before the Saturday night main event of torching of the 40-foot signature effigy. The Burning Man art festival began in 1986 in San Francisco’s Baker Beach and moved to the Black Rock Desert in 1990.

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Malcolm In The Middle Goes To Burning Man

GiggleSugar — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 10:50:00 -0700

Burning Man, that annual ~~experiment in community and creativity~~ opportunity for nerds to get naked and have gross sex in the desert, has come and gone. I didn't think it could get any dorkier, but then I found this clip. You know when "Malcolm In The Middle" is cooler than you, it's time to retire the body paint and angel wings and just keep writing code.

Could Burning Man Get Any Creepier?

GiggleSugar — Wed, 15 Aug 2007 15:00:00 -0700

Yes. He calls himself "WaterBoy, King of All That Is Wet." You can find him at Burning Man where he hangs out in scuba gear and floats in a water-filled suit suspended high in the air. He's equipped with a mic and chants off mumbo-jumbo about moisture, hydration and giant wet spots on bedroom linen-- get the drift? He might be more tolerable with a flush feature.

Just Say "No" To Burning Man

GiggleSugar — Thu, 19 Jul 2007 11:48:02 -0700

As if you needed more reasons to say "no" to drugs and other forms of fake liberation, here are three more reasons to avoid Burning Man--color coded for your convenience. ("Thanks," Fit!)

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A Generation of Male Commitmentphobes?

TresSugar — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 15:30:00 -0800

A recent Marie Claire trend piece takes on a certain species of man: the commitment-phobe. Lest you think this is but one unavoidable type of man, the writer suggests that there's a whole generation of 30-something men having early midlife crises:

These guys are part of a cause-less generation. They didn't grow up burning their draft cards or fighting the Nazis. They weren't part of the Civil Rights Movement, the Women's Movement, or any other movement. They were spoiled as kids and now they want to spoil themselves as adults. The old cliché was that a man would wake up one morning and realize that he wanted his youth back. The new version is that he never reached adulthood in the first place.

This type tends to be drawn to Type-A women who can bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan, and never let him forget he's a man . . . but the writer wonders if part of what the male commitmentphobe is thinking is that this type of woman doesn't need him at all. (Hmmm. So it's her fault?)

I don't think many would argue for a return to old-school gender roles and the suffocation that went with them, but do you think there's a whole generation of young-ish men who don't know how to commit?

Life For Afghan Women: Not Better Under Karzai

TresSugar — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 11:45:00 -0700

Women everywhere fight for their rights - but women in Afghanistan have it particularly bad.

BBC reporter Jane Corbin was invited by a French charity, based in Herat, Afghanistan, that treats women who have self-immolated. Most of these women set fire to themselves to escape a forced marriage or a violent husband. In the photo above, a woman comforts her 20-year-old daughter in the hospital. In an attempted suicide to protest a forced marriage to an elderly man and escape rumors of an affair with a younger one, she set fire to herself and now suffers from burns over 85 percent of her body.

Although women were promised equality and human rights by the introduction of democracy, a new constitution, and President Hamid Karzai’s presidency in 2004, the reality of their situation is still bleak.

Sixty percent of women are still forced into marriage as children, sometimes as young as nine or 10. Since Westerners intervened, this was supposed to have changed under a law that stated girls under 16 should not be married. But police don't always investigate the crimes, and male judges often reduce the sentences of men guilty of harming women.

Some women are standing up to the Taliban, which is trying to turn back any minuscule gains women may have from new leadership. Prosecutor Maria Bashir, who requires security guards and has survived bombing attacks, is trying to protect women from men even though laws are supposed to do this. Bashir does this even though it puts her family in danger - the son of another lawyer was beheaded by people who thought he was her son.

A news story today makes an Afghan woman's plight almost unthinkable: a law has passed that allows a man to starve his wife if she refuses his sexual demands. Some accuse Karzai of allowing this barbaric law to pass so that he can get support from the conservative Shia support in next week’s presidential election.

There is a sliver of hope: there are women activists like Bashir who risk their lives fighting for women’s rights and, in spite of an 80 percent illiteracy rate among Afghan women, girls still dream of going to school and having a career.

WTF?!

GiggleSugar — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 03:00:00 -0700

Why are these people applauding? This man is playing a piano that's on fire. What did that poor, innocent piano (that I'm sure someone else would DIE to have) ever do to him? I bet he was just too lazy to learn all the notes. File this under ~~performance art~~ stupid.

Book Bag: This Is Your Country On Drugs

TresSugar — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 13:00:00 -0700

Americans are so addicted to drugs that our government had to declare war on them! This Is Your Country On Drugs: The Secret History of Getting High in America, a new book by Ryan Grim, explores the unlikely consequences of the so-called War on Drugs. Some examples? Ronald Reagan may have inadvertently caused the crack epidemic. The fastest-growing drug today is a legal hallucinogen you can buy on the Internet. Past antidrug campaigns actually encouraged drug use. And, Americans have stopped using LSD altogether.

In fact the disappearance of LSD, or acid, prompted Grim to research US drug habits. In the book, he writes:

Strolling around Burning Man and being unable to find acid is something like walking into a bar and finding the taps dry.

According to one review of the book, Grim demonstrates how "the American passion for getting high turns enforcement-centered strategies into a vast game of Whack-a-Mole." As government policies target marijuana and cocaine, they end up encouraging the meth trade.

Ask a Grad Student: Should I Stop Snooping On My Boyfriend?

TresSugar — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 08:30:00 -0700

Conventional Wisdom is a different kind of advice column. Your questions will be answered by people from all walks of life rather than by advice experts. Today, a graduate student will offer her common sense advice. You can submit questions here.

Today's Question:

Dear Grad Student,

I've been going out with this guy for almost two years. He actually blocked me on Facebook once because he claimed that I was asking too much about his updates (like his exes writing to him) so he removed me. I created an alias and became friends with him and this girl so I could see what he was saying. What I saw made me so angry, I confronted him. I always ended up apologizing because I was the one who had to admit I invaded his privacy. I deleted that account.

One day at my place, he left his account signed in on my computer so I checked his inbox and saw that he was still flirting with his ex f•ckbuddy and he was telling her things like his loins burn for her and they missed each other. He was also inviting girls for coffee and dates. I again confronted him, and he told me that some of the things I'd read he'd said during the month we had broken up. In any case, he changed his password.

Now I am using Gmail where Facebook notifications are sent, and there are still things there that drive me crazy. I don't want to be a jealous, insecure bitch, so I want to know if someone thinks I should go on snooping, or will I go to hell if I keep it up?

To find out what the graduate student has to say, read more

Dear Snoopy,

As I write this, I picture you sitting in your car outside your boyfriend’s apartment in a hat, sunglasses, and a glued-on mustache waiting to catch him red-handed with one of his paramours. I say this not to be mean or make light of what you’re going through, but to get you to think about what you have been reduced to in this relationship: you are a desperate private investigator instead of a girlfriend.

Before I address what you’ve found out, I want to say a little something about trust. It’s a cliché but it’s true: trust is the foundation of a relationship, and without it, you really have nothing. You don’t say anything in your question about what your two-year relationship was like leading up to your Facebook and Gmail investigations. Was it great, and then something he did made you suspicious? Or are you just a naturally suspicious (and insecure) person, who, during the course of her investigations, found out the boyfriend was flirting with exes and making coffee dates with other women?

In any case - here we are. You are two years into a relationship with a man who sends other women sexual messages and invitations for coffee and who has blocked you on Facebook, and you seem to be spending all of your time trying to catch him saying something incriminating. Is this really the kind of relationship you want?

If you believe your boyfriend when he says that he did this flirting when you were broken up, you need to sit down with him and have a frank conversation about your fears and doubts. And then stop snooping on him. It’s not that you’ll go to hell for continuing to snoop or even that it’s ethically messed up - although it is. You should stop snooping for your own psychological health. It sounds like you’re addicted to invading your boyfriend’s privacy in the hopes you’ll find something that will hurt you so that you can feel bad about yourself both for being potentially cheated on and also for being a "jealous insecure bitch."

If you really think this guy is stepping out on you, why not just break up with him and heal your own hurt? Your problems here are bigger than his Facebook updates. You need to feel secure within yourself before you can trust that you can be in a relationship without having to snoop to feel safe. A healthy relationship involves being with someone you trust - until he has done something to betray that trust. Then, you have to make a healthy decision either to walk out or try to make it work.

Take off your private investigator hat and investigate your own motivations and behaviors and learn what a solid, healthy relationship looks like. (Maybe with the help of a therapist?) Then you'll be able to make the right decision.

Ask a Frenchman: Can I Turn a Hookup Into a Relationship?

TresSugar — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 04:00:53 -0700

Conventional Wisdom is a different kind of advice column. Your questions will be answered by people from all walks of life rather than by advice experts. Today, a man born and raised in France will offer his common sense advice. You can submit questions here.

Today's Question:
I am a "good girl" serial monogamist and most recently I find myself in a relationship that can only be defined as a constant series of hookups with the same person.

We hung out for four months prior to any hookup occurring and other than the occasional we-aren't-together-reminder, it could be defined as any other relationship. I wouldn't label him as a douche or anything like that, but I'm dealing with someone with clear commitment issues (he never had a girlfriend) who finds it difficult to trust. (He was burned by his childhood best friend.)

That said, what is one to do in my position? Continue being available, hoping it turns into something committed, or end this in hopes he realizes his loss? It's easier said than done to simply move on; my question is how can I turn a hookup into a relationship?

- Wannabe Girlfriend

To see the Frenchman's answer, read more.

Dear Wannabe Girlfriend,

I think you're thinking way too much. It's possible to turn a hookup into a relationship, but it takes two people. I think you know that this man does not want a relationship right now, so I say: enjoy yourself as is, or dump the guy. As we say in France: un de perdu, dix de retrouvés. Translation: "one lost, ten found."

Signed, A Frenchman

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