TresSugar

Get Thee to a Nunnery!

GiggleSugar — Fri, 16 May 2008 14:00:00 -0700

When sinning is out of the question, creative methods of anger management are key.

Bumper Sticker Humor

GiggleSugar — Thu, 12 Apr 2007 16:00:00 -0700

There's no avoiding bumper stickers-- they're everywhere. Sometimes boastful, sometimes cheesy, sometimes political, sometimes downright offensive, and other times...they're hilarious! So for a good humor rush, read on:

Just say NO to negativity.
I thought I was indecisive; now I'm not so sure.
Beer doesn't make you fat. It makes you lean (against doors, tables, walls).
I feel better after I wine a little.
I'm still a hot babe, but now it comes in flashes.
If it's not one thing, it's your mother.
Never believe generalizations.
What would Ashton do?
Jesus loves you. But I'm his favorite.
Does anal retentive have a hyphen?
Every time you open your mouth, some idiot starts talking.
On the journey of life, I choose the psycho path.
To err is human, to blame it on somebody else shows management potential.
Practice safe lunch: Use a condiment.
Rehab is for quitters.
Suburbia: Where they tear out the trees and name streets after them.
Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble wrap is cheap. You choose.
Warning: Dates on calendar are closer than they appear.
Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye opener.
You're just jealous because the voices only talk to ME.
So you're a feminist. Isn't that cute?
Without ME, it's just AWESO.
Driver carries no cash. He's married.

Source and Source

Flashback: Volkswagen Ad Makes Me Want to Run Over the Copywriter

TresSugar — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 12:00:00 -0700

Women are soft and gentle, but they hit things. If your wife hits something in a Volkswagen, it doesn’t hurt you very much. VW parts are easy to replace. . .Most other VW parts are interchangeable too. Inside and out. Which means your wife isn’t limited to fender smashing. She can jab the hood. Graze the door. Or bump off the bumper....So when your wife goes window-shopping in a Volkswagen, don’t worry. You can conveniently replace anything she uses to stop the car. Even the brakes.

Source

The State You're In: 15 License Plates That Speak

TresSugar — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 04:00:00 -0700

It used to be we'd slap whatever the state handed us on our bumpers, but that's such efficient use of tax dollars. That all changed in 1977, when a family of Jehovah's Witnesses taped over the "Live Free or Die" part of their New Hampshire license plate, claiming it violated their free speech rights. The case went to the Supreme Court, which decided it was unconstitutional to force individuals, or their cars, to be "mobile billboards." Of course, if you can't force 'em, you can't stop 'em.

So here we are, 22 years later with a license plate for everyone. This week Florida gave drivers a new option - Jesus on the cross. When Florida governor Charlie Crist was asked about the breach of church and state, he said, "If they don’t want one they don’t have to buy one."

But what can we buy?

View Slideshow ›

Volvo's 2020 Vision: Death-Proof Cars

LibertySugar — Thu, 01 May 2008 00:00:40 -0700

Volvo has launched a plan to eradicate deaths of Volvo drivers involved in accidents by 2020. Every year car accidents cause 1.2 million deaths and 50 million injuries. The Swedish car company already has ignitions that turn off when the driver is drunk, and sensors that sound alarms when they detect drowsiness.

After they eradicate death in their cars, Volvo will move onto accidents in general. By turning the car into one giant bumper, and expanding "smart engine" capabilities, Volvos will think for the driver, hopefully avoiding accidents.

Will consumers gravitate toward a car that guarantees to be death-free? Should buyers get a cut in insurance rates? Should governments invest more in this type of research, or is this an example of how the private sector is sometimes better at solving problems? How much would you pay for one of these buggies?

Source

Fifty Nifty Obama Bumper Stickers - Which Is Your Fave?

CitizenSugar — Sat, 05 Jul 2008 10:00:00 -0700

Over at BumperActive.com, they're taking Barack Obama's 50 state campaign to heart - they're making a unique fender decal for every state in the union. They have about 20 states done and are cranking out the rest in the next few weeks. You can drop them a line if you want the heads up when your state is ready.

At less than $5 a pop, you could collect your favorite states and trade 'em with friends. Not to mention that 22.5 percent of the proceeds from each sale-that's $1 a sticker -benefits the campaign. Now of course I wish there was a corresponding McCain set, but I can appreciate good design regardless of party - the Arizona one is pretty darn clever. Which of these Obama stickers would you slap on your car?

Ask E. Jean for DearSugar: What Did He Do?

E Jean Carroll — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 10:00:00 -0800

DEAR E. JEAN AND DEAR SUGAR:

I have a sticky - sticky - situation. I love my fiancé. He’s a down-to-earth, funny, intelligent guy, a Baptist from Kentucky; I’m a no-nonsense, fun-loving Catholic girl from Boston (he’s agreed we will raise our children Catholic). We’re both geeks, love the Red Sox, like staying up late, and sleeping with the windows open. We are extremely compatible. Our wedding is in June.

But! We have a bone of contention: I’m voting for Hillary. He’s voting for Rudy. After several heated discussions, we agreed to disagree about it. Everything has been lovely till last weekend.

I was out with my friend (ironically, we were attending a campaign meeting for Hillary in preparation for going to New Hampshire next month) and my fiancé plastered our car with Rudy Giuliani stickers. I mean he put them everywhere - all over the trunk, both backseat windows, and one on each of the front doors.

I’m so angry! I can’t be seen in a car with Giuliani ads! I’m not saying Giuliani’s a bad man, I just can’t see him as president. Hillary Clinton will be smarter, more thoughtful president. What do I do? The damn stickers are impossible to get off! Help! Even Brillo didn’t work! - Hillary’s Hand Maiden

To see E. Jean's answer read more

MISS HANDMAIDEN, HUNNY:

Buy full-sheet sticker papers (25 sheets, $20 at DecalPaper.com or Stickerdelights.com).
Do not cut them into bumper sticker-size slogans.
Instead, design each full sheet to carry the 7 Reasons to Vote for Hillary in HUGE FONT.
Print 20 giant stickers.
Carefully place one Hillary sticker below each Giuliani sticker on your car.
Drive to The Boston Globe.
Call the Political Desk and ask a reporter to come down to the front door.
Hand the reporter a cup of hot coffee, show her the car, and tell her your story.
Get big press for your candidate and let your fiancé know that neither you nor Hillary will take any guff from the fellows.

To see more advice from E. Jean visit Elle Magazine and AskEJean.com

Removing All Traffic Laws Makes Town Safer! Make Sense?

CitizenSugar — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 12:15:37 -0700

A town in Germany has abolished all traffic laws, signs, and crosswalks. Sound like a recipe for bumper cars meets demolition derby? Not according to town officials. In fact, getting rid of all the laws has had the exact opposite effect - by allowing drivers and pedestrians to make all of their own decisions about what's safe, one stretch of road that used to see 45 accidents a year and traffic jams, has become smooth and safe, and drivers have slowed down overall.

The plan is called "Share Space" and exists in towns in England and Holland as well. The idea is that everyone on the road including pedestrians and cyclists have equal rights - no sidewalks even! Local police say that without rules, people - wait for it - think for themselves (!) and communicate more and assume the responsibility of powering a huge pile of metal. Though locals say it took a bit to get used to the freedom and responsibility, it's increased safety and renewed a village-y atmosphere.

Does it make sense that by removing laws intended to increase safety, lawlessness actually makes a bigger difference? Could this phenomenon apply to other places and types of laws as well? Should it?

When Auto Accidents Are Funny

GiggleSugar — Tue, 24 Apr 2007 14:00:00 -0700

When are auto accidents amusing? When the driver responsible fills out an insurance claim form and attempts to condense, evade, or embellish the facts a bit. That's when the truth spins out of control and the retelling gets funny:

"A pedestrian hit me and went under my car."
"The pedestrian had no idea which direction to go, so I ran over him."
"I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident."
"I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection, a hedge sprung up, obscuring my vision."
"I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat, I found that I had a fractured skull."
"To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian."
"When I could not avoid a collision, I stepped on the gas and crashed into the other car."
"In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole."
"My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle."
"As I approached the intersection, a stop sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident."
"The telephone pole was approaching fast. I was attempting to swerve out of its path when it struck my front end."
"An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my vehicle, and vanished."

Source and Source

More Permanent Than a Bumper Sticker. Would You Get One?

CitizenSugar — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 12:00:36 -0700

Why settle for slapping on a silly bumper sticker? Stickers are for little girls! Get your political allegiance stamped into a hunk of metal - that's for the truly hardcore.

New York resident Tibi Vasilescu is the proud owner of the OBAMA 08 plate pictured above. His statement cost him $68 and gets him lots of attention - he's already been offered $1,000 for it. Vasilescu's first choice candidate, Bill Richardson, dropped out so his plate went Obama. Funny it's not affixed on an American-made car. . . . The New York database also shows a MCCAIN 08 plate on record.

What do you think?

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