TresSugar

In Love and Marriage, Do Traditional Titles Matter?

DearSugar — Fri, 19 Sep 2008 08:00:00 -0700

The overturning of the ban on same-sex marriage in California has changed many lives and simultaneously sparked a slew of arguments. In fact, as reported by the Sacramento Bee, a recently wed couple - Rachel Bird and Gideon Codding - are starting their own debate over the wording of the new gender-neutral marriage license, which has changed the traditional reference of Bride and Groom to Party A and Party B.

Bird offered her own explanation, saying: "We are traditionalists - we just want to be called bride and groom," and for this couple, anything else is unacceptable; they refuse to sign the license as-is. The article also mentions that this particular fight is a personal one, rather than religious. But whatever the motivation for standing their ground, I find the attachment to these two words interesting. They do represent tradition and their cultural significance is vast, but are they truly necessary? When it comes down to it, do these types of traditional titles matter to you and your relationship?

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Is It Bad Luck For the Bride and Groom to See Each Other Before the Wedding?

DearSugar — Tue, 03 Jun 2008 12:00:00 -0700

Since I'm so traditional, you probably won't be surprised to hear that I consider it bad luck for the bride and groom to see each other before the wedding ceremony. Of course some couples don't believe in that old-wives tale, and I'm sure those that do get a peek or even share a moment together before their walk down the aisle still live happily ever after. I'm just too superstitious to chance it. Are you like me? Do you think it's bad luck for the bride and groom to see each other before saying "I do"?

To see all of our wedding coverage, check out IDoSugar.com.

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Dressed to Ill: Bridal Edition

GiggleSugar — Wed, 28 May 2008 11:30:00 -0700

Wedding gowns were traditionally white to represent the bride's innocence and purity.
Not so much anymore.

Thanks, College Humor!

The Bridesmaid's Contract

DearSugar — Mon, 11 Feb 2008 11:00:00 -0800

According to a recent poll done by You & Your Wedding magazine, one in five ladies are so concerned about their bridesmaids letting them down on their wedding day that they would consider asking them to sign a "prenuptial agreement." In response to the magazine's survey, the Telegraph writes:

It found that respondents' biggest gripes were with bridesmaids who put on weight, became pregnant, or changed their hairstyles before the big day. A series of suggested clauses included that bridesmaids should not consume more than 10 units of alcohol, or make any advances towards "inappropriate male guests" - or the groom.

I don't know what I find more ridiculous about this, the fact that a bride would have the gall to present this to her bridesmaids or the idea that her bridesmaids might actually sign it. If I'm being unrealistic and such a contract is necessary, please tell me. Does this seem reasonable to you?

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DearSugar Needs Your Help: Do I Have a Say in My Bridal Shower?

DearSugar — Sat, 22 Sep 2007 09:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar and Bride-to-Be Betty need your help. Should she tell her fiance's mother to travel to the bridal shower her mother is planning or should she let her future mother-in-law plan her own?

Dear Sugar--

I am getting married next August and have been diligently planning the wedding. I have to say I'm pleased that everything has been going pretty smoothly and nobody has been too opinionated.

The other day I was talking to my mom about the bridal shower she is planning in the Spring. It's going to be in New Jersey where my parents live, and she wanted to know if my fiance's family would come from Connecticut. I called my future mother-in-law to extend a verbal invitation and she told me that she's not too into traveling and was just planning on throwing her own bridal shower for her side of the family.

I was fine with it at first, but when I told my mother, she was a little turned off and hurt and then I realized that I was too. It's only about a 2 1/2 hour drive, so what's the big deal? I thought the point of bridal showers was to get all the women together before the wedding to celebrate?

Do I have a right to say something to my fiance's mother about this? Is it normal to have two different bridal showers, one from each side of the family, or do you traditionally just have one with everyone? I don't want to seem like an ungrateful or bitchy Bridezilla, so I'd appreciate any advice from former brides.

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You Asked: How Can I Lose Weight Before My Wedding?

DearSugar — Fri, 07 Sep 2007 17:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar--

I recently was given the opportunity to explore other career options and have had lots of free time to focus on my fitness and nutrition. I've gotten really into it and set a goal of losing 15 pounds before my wedding date in November. I am 5'4" and when I started my routine/eating change I was 136. I'm down to 131, I work out six days a week...hiking, spinning, running, weight lifting, Pilates and yoga. Plus I'm keeping track of what I am eating. I eat six times a day small meals, lots of fruit, protein and veggies.

I use the website www.sparkpeople.com to track my eating and my workouts. The site gives me a caloric breakdown. According to the BMR I burn 1380 calories without doing any physical activity, so I've been burning an additional 500-800 calories a day plus only eating between 800-1200 calories. Why am I not losing weight??? I'm starting to get frustrated especially since I feel like I'm working really hard. Any
suggestions?

--Frustrated Bride-To-Be

To see DEARSUGAR's answer read more

Dear Frustrated Bride-To-Be--

This is a question I'm sure many women can relate to - how to lose weight in a healthy way. First of all let me say that you should be proud of yourself for starting this plan and sticking to it. You've lost 5 lbs already, and that's awesome.

I'm sorry to say that losing weight is hard work, and it's a long journey. Since you are at a pretty healthy weight already, losing those extra 10 lbs is going to be a slow process. In order to lose 1 lb a week (which is a healthy goal), you need to either burn or omit 500 calories from your diet per day. A good way to do that is to burn 250 calories through exercise, and ditch 250 calories from your diet. You don't want to shock your body and drop your caloric intake dramatically though, because your body won't burn fat, it'll hold onto it. You must consume at least 1200 calories a day so your body doesn't think there's a food famine.

Another great tip is to stop eating 2 hours before you go to bed. It'll give your body a chance to digest, and then when morning comes, you'll be hungry for breakfast. Don't skip this important meal since it can help jump start your metabolism.

I see that you are doing a wide range of exercise, but you may want to stick to focusing on heart-pumping cardio. Jog, ride a bike or do the elliptical at the gym for 20-30 every day, and you'll tone up and burn calories. Another thing you should remember is that if you are building muscle with exercising, you'll be losing inches and not necessarily losing weight. Muscle doesn't weigh more than fat, but it is denser so it takes up less room. That means when you step on the scale, it may not reflect all your hard work. Look in the mirror though, I'm sure you're bound to notice a difference.

Getting married can be both an exciting and stressful time. Just keep taking good care of yourself, get enough sleep each night, continue eating healthy and exercising, and by November I'm sure you'll look toned and feel strong, confident, and beautiful on your special day.

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Bride Gets Carried Across The Threshold

GiggleSugar — Fri, 29 Jun 2007 09:00:00 -0700

Well, kinda. As reality would have it, the groom hurls the bride over his shoulders like a jumbo sack of potatoes while huffing and puffing his way up an endless flight of stairs and then "romantically" collapses a few steps short of the front door. Ah, the stuff that fairy tales are made of.

Wedding Mishap

GiggleSugar — Thu, 07 Jun 2007 00:02:00 -0700

This bride has something to blush about beyond the fact that it's her wedding day-- perhaps it's whatever is floating in that wine she just sipped from? Eww. Meanwhile, the groom is rethinking the big kiss they're to share at the end of the ceremony. He has my condolences.

My Bridesmaids Stressed Me Out!

DearSugar — Fri, 04 May 2007 13:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar--

I feel as though two of my bridesmaids gave me a lot of stress through everything leading up to my wedding. They didn't help with anything like the shower or bachelorette party. Everything that was expected from them (buying the dress, shoes, and getting their hair done) was a huge hassle for them, and they were constantly stressing me out over it and complaining about the price. This bothered me because they both work full time and don't pay rent. So, they probably have more money than me and I would never complain about this to them if they were getting married. I told them numerous times if them being in the wedding is too difficult or expensive then I would not be upset if they backed out of the commitment. This offended them both.

There's more. I originally told them they could bring guests. They both didn't know who to bring (one broke up with her boyfriend right before the wedding), so they waited until past the deadline was up to tell me their meal choices, stressing me out more. I told them repeatedly just not to bring anyone, but they were insistent about it. They joked around to my fiancé's parents about not being able to find dates. This made me feel stupid because his parents paid for the entire thing. The wedding was spectacular and afterwards I realized that it was wrong of them to act like they were doing me a favor and they should have felt honored to be there. Then the kicker is that neither of them (or their guests) gave us a wedding gift, not even a card. This upset me greatly.

These girls were really close friends of mine. Should I discuss these issues with them? I am not sure if it would do much good. I know it is rude to bring up the fact that they didn't bring gifts. Or should I lose them as friends, cut them out?

--Let Down Lucy

To see DEARSUGAR's answer read more

Dear Let Down Lucy--

First off, congrats on getting married! That's so exciting - so try not to let those two bridesmaids of yours put a damper on your happiness. Since they're not married themselves, they probably had no idea about how stressful planning a wedding was, and that a large part of their job was to help you out. Not getting a gift because they thought they spent enough money on the dress, shoes and whatnot is not an excuse. Or who knows - guests have up to one year to give gifts, so they could be working on it.

What's done is done, and being that you were such close friends with these girls, you should definitely talk to them about how you feel. You don't need to go over every little detail that upset you (since you can't do anything about it now), but just touch on the major things. Chances are they had no idea how much their actions and comments upset you, and talking about it could in turn bring you closer.

That being said, it still doesn't make up for the fact that they let you down on what was probably one of the most important events of your life. Maybe your friends were acting immaturely because they're in a different place in their lives than you are. If that's the case, you may find that you're naturally growing apart so you might need to work on developing a new kind of friendship with these girls. I hope it all works out for you Lucy.

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Bridezilla Gets A Little Touchy

GiggleSugar — Wed, 18 Apr 2007 00:02:00 -0700

The big day is quickly approaching, the pressure is mounting, and stress levels are high. So when a sales clerk makes the fatal flaw of noticing and complimenting the sparkling rock on this irritable bride-to-be's finger, she nearly gets the finger! After all, rings are not worn to be admired-- right?