TresSugar

Get Benjamins For Your Bling by Selling Your Breakup Jewelry

TresSugar — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 06:00:00 -0700

Did you just wash that man right out of your hair? Are you simply not the sentimental type? Well, if your ex doesn't take back the jewelry he gave you (he'd have to pry it out of your cold, dead hands, right?), then you should go to Outofyourlife.com and sell them your breakup jewelry! Those sassy talking dogs in the following ad might be onto something. Do you keep, give away, or sell your "breakup jewelry"?

Say What? Hypnotherapist: Quitting Smoking Like Breaking Up

TresSugar — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 15:00:00 -0700

Look, we had some great times together and a lot of fun, but now I feel we are moving in different directions and I need to end this relationship.

- Natasha Bishop to her cigarette habit of 10 years. She took the advice of a hypnotherapist who says that one way to quit smoking is to have a breakup conversation with your cigarettes. "Until you actually have that conversation," she says, "there's always that little part of you that thinks, maybe we'll get back together. Let's face it. Getting back together with an ex is like throwing milk in the garbage and three days later thinking . . . maybe it'll be better this time around." Have you ever had to quit smoking? Would you consider alternative therapies if cold turkey, the patch, or nicotine gum didn't work?

Dear Poll: Have You Broken Up Since Valentine's Day?

DearSugar — Tue, 24 Feb 2009 06:00:00 -0800

I know that some of you were hesitant to be alone this past Valentine's Day, even if it meant staying with someone you weren't that into, so tell me, have you since broken up with your special someone now that Valentine's Day is behind us?

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You Asked: Can We Make It?

DearSugar — Thu, 05 Feb 2009 12:30:00 -0800

Dear Sugar,

I am 33 and in a relationship with a 27-year-old male. We have been together for two years, but he constantly has doubts about our relationship and has broken up with me several times. He always apologizes and begs me to take him back, and I cave ever time. I love him and am ready to be committed, but just when things seem to be going well, he starts talking about how he's too young to be in such a serious relationship. I know he loves me, so should I just be patient with him or should I end the relationship once and for all before he hurts me anymore? - In Limbo Lana

To see DearSugar's answer read more

Dear In Limbo Lana,

It sounds to me like your boyfriend is just scared of being tied down. I'm not sure if his age has anything to do with it or if you two are simply on different pages, but what I do know is that it's not fair of him to toy with your emotions as he is. Breaking up and making up is a destructive and confusing cycle. My suggestion to you is to sit down and have a very serious talk about the future of your relationship. Make sure you know what his expectations are, make sure he knows what yours are, and if he can't agree to keep the lines of communication open before just throwing up his hands and quitting, you might want to reconsider this relationship. It's important that you both feel secure in the love you share so get to the bottom of this relationship before you waste any more of each other's time. Good luck.

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True Confession - I Want to Rub Someone New in His Face

DearSugar — Wed, 07 Jan 2009 10:00:00 -0800

Weigh in and tell us if you forgive or not forgive this True Confession.

"I'm married but on the brink of divorce, and all I want to do is find someone to have a wild night in the hay with so I can rub it in my soon-to-be ex's face as punishment for everything he has put me through. Can I be forgiven for wanting revenge?"

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The How-To Lounge: Moving Forward

DearSugar — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 11:00:00 -0700

Even if you’re the one doing the breaking, breaking up isn’t easy. But when you’re the one being rejected and having your heart broken, it’s especially difficult. In my opinion, the very worst part of the breakup is when you actually have to let go. To check out some helpful advice on making this experience easier, read more.

As I’ve said before, being sad is an important feeling, so don’t hide from it. In fact, embracing it can really make a difference when it comes to the healing process. So get out your tissues, call your mom, and wallow in your own self-pity for a while.
As much as you want to crawl into a hole and hide, don’t. Go out; interact with people. Don’t worry about meeting new guys, just focus on having fun and being comfortable as a single gal.
Write it down! Writing down everything you might want to say to your ex may not be as satisfying as actually saying it, but it can still be helpful, productive, and cleansing. Plus it lets you obsess as much as you want!
Stop focusing on the good, and start thinking about the bad. OK, I only mean when it comes to your ex. Instead of remembering all the good things, try to remember all of the things that upset you, hurt you, and drove you nuts. I know it sounds negative, but it’s actually very helpful at providing a reality check, since most of the time we tend to glamorize the past.
Try to do something new. Start cooking, rock climbing, or training for a 5K. Not only will it distract you from feeling down, but it’s a great self-esteem booster.

Just remember, you will feel better eventually. Just don’t give up!

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You Asked: Why Do I Constantly Think About Him?

DearSugar — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 03:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar,

Last Summer I broke up with my boyfriend, who I was with for six years. The first year into our relationship was great, but soon after that he started cheating on me. I did not find out until months later because we were having a long-distance relationship for three out of the six years. I really loved him, he was my first boyfriend, and I was already thinking about a future together, but he just wasn't as ready as I was. I started to see that besides our constant troubles of his relations with other girls, we were on totally different levels as to what we wanted from our relationship. In our last months as a couple, the romance was completely gone, we didn't do anything with each other anymore, and we basically lived together like friends. When I asked him if he wanted to break up with me, he said it didn't matter. I then met this other guy whom I adored so much, and I finally had the courage to break up with my boyfriend.

He did not take it well at all, so there was turmoil for about four months after, while I was starting my relationship with the "new" guy. After six months with him, I broke it off because I constantly found myself thinking about my first boyfriend. At times I am mad because of all the heartbreaks he caused me, but other times I really miss the good times we had. He was a really sweet guy, amazing to me, but when we were apart he would cheat. I have no regular contact with him (maybe once every two months) but I'm still jealous when I hear stories about him and other girls. I still love him, but I don't want to be with him again. I believe that I'm still not completely over him but I do want to be. Can you help me out of this? - Stuck in the Past Patty

To see DearSugar's answer read more

Dear Stuck in the Past Patty,

It's pretty clear from your letter that you aren't over your ex. Since you jumped right into a new relationship before you were even fully broken up with your ex, it doesn't surprise me that you're still harboring feelings for him. Getting over someone you cared for and were with for as long as you were will not happen over night, but unfortunately the only way you'll be able to have a healthy relationship with someone else is if you put him in the past.

I'm glad to hear that you have minimal contact with him, and while it's only natural to miss the good times and forget about the bad, they still exist. Perhaps you should scroll up and re-read the beginning of your note. He cheated on you, he wasn't as ready as you were to further your relationship, and he didn't seem to have any sorrow about the possibility of breaking up. Since he was your first boyfriend, you will probably always have a special place in your heart from him, but I think we both know it's time to leave him in the past. You deserve to be with someone who possesses all the good qualities that you saw in him without the unfaithfulness and dishonesty. Be strong, lean on your friends and family for support, talk about how you feel, and with time, I have faith that you'll be able to move past this relationship. I wish you luck.

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Friend Breakups

DearSugar — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 08:00:00 -0700

I’m sure all of us have experienced a blowout argument with a friend at least once in our lives. And I’m sure most of us have encountered a friendship that ended up being more of a burden than a benefit. In fact, sometimes our friends can actually become toxic to us, either by their own personal choices or their treatment of those around them.

So many of us are loyal to a fault, but sometimes the best thing we can do for ourselves is break up with those friends. Though "breakup" may seem like a strange term, it’s actually quite on point, as it brings up a lot of the same emotions you’d have during a romantic breakup: despair, guilt, loneliness, anger, hurt, resentment, loss, etc. Have you ever had to confront the difficulties of breaking up with a friend? If so, how did you deal with it?

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Handle This: He Won't Let You Break Up With Him

DearSugar — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 12:00:00 -0700

Much to your chagrin, it appears that you’ve run into one of those situations with the new guy you’ve been dating where he likes you a lot more than you like him. He’s really great, and you don’t want to just lead him on so you decide to end things. You go to his house to talk about it with him, and initially, he appears to take the news really well.

Afterwards, he asks if you want to go out to dinner. Trying to follow through on your "let’s be friends" promise, you agree. But as soon as you get to the restaurant, he starts acting like you're still a couple! Over the meal you start mentioning moving on and your very separate futures, but after dinner, he leans in for a kiss. Although you pull away, you just don’t know what to say. He's either in deep denial or not getting it, so how would you handle this?

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DearSugar Needs Your Help: My Friend Betrayed Me - Now What?

DearSugar — Sat, 15 Mar 2008 09:00:00 -0700

DearSugar and Betrayed Betsy need your help. She broke up with her boyfriend of almost two years and only a few weeks later, he started hooking up with her best friend. Where does she go from here? If you have any advice for her, she'd love to hear it.

My ex boyfriend of almost two years and I have been broken up for a month and I just found out that two weeks after we split, he and my best friend of 10 years started hooking up. They apparently now feel very strongly for each other and want to be together. She did not even confess to me, I caught them, and she is still lying about how many times they hooked up and when. I am so incredibly hurt and angry and I just don't know what to do. Should I throw away 10 years of friendship with someone I always considered my most trusted confidant? I honestly don't think I can ever forgive her for backstabbing me like this and now everyday I wonder if they are together and what they're doing. I've put my ex behind me, realizing now that I made the right decision by breaking up with him, but no matter how much I want to hate my best friend, I can't help but feel sad because I miss her friendship. I don't know how to get over my anger. Do you have any advice?

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