TresSugar

Meet The Begging Kitty

GiggleSugar — Thu, 24 May 2007 07:00:00 -0700

Pippy will beg for anything and I mean anything. From an unopened tub of butter to a thigh master (can't have one without the other, right?)-- Pippy wants it. Even if Pippy doesn't know what to do with it-- Pippy wants it. Even if Pippy has no use for it-- Pippy wants it. And Pippy gets what Pippy wants. (Check out Pippy's blog!)

In the Name of Islam Children in Senegal Are Sold into Slavery

CitizenSugar — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 03:00:56 -0700

In a shocking and sad modern day Oliver Twist scenario, today in Senegal roughly 1.2 million impoverished children are trafficked to work for the benefit of others. They are pressed into servitude, begging on the streets to earn about $15 billion to pad the pockets of those who enslave them. What is perhaps most shocking is that in countries like Dakar, at least 7,600 of these children are sent to beg in the streets under the cover of Islam.

Sadly these children are usually not stolen, but given away by their families when they are as young as two years old. Since the 11th century, families have traditionally sent their sons to study at the Quranic schools that dot Africa's western seaboard since the rise of Islam. Because it is forbidden in the Quran to charge a student for religious instruction, traditionally a student would work for their tuition by farming. To see how this has devolved into human trafficking, read more.

Since droughts have caused many of the rural areas to no longer support farms, let alone an educational institution, they are forced to move to urban areas such as Dakar, Senegal’s capital. Here instead of farming, the children are forced to beg sometimes nine hours a day and receive instruction for two hours. If they fail to furnish their minimum quota of change from begging, they are often physically abused.

Since the children are kept in extreme poverty themselves, they have no way to return home and some of the children were given up at such a young age, they don’t even know where their homes or families are located. This picture shows a child in Senegal raising awareness to the practice by carrying a sign that reads, "No begging for children." UNICEF is one organization aiming to ensure just that.

Are you surprised that this happens?

Source

Hump Day: I'm Self-Conscious About Receiving Oral Sex

TresSugar — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 06:00:00 -0700

Welcome to Hump Day, TrèsSugar's sex advice column. Are you confused about sex? Do you have trouble having an orgasm? Is there something you'd like to try but you're worried it's too weird? Send your questions to TrèsSugar, and our friend Dr. Charlie Glickman from Good Vibrations will offer his sound advice!

Today's Question:

"I'm very self-conscious about my body, and that extends to receiving oral sex. I like to give blow jobs to my boyfriend, but I worry about smelling and tasting good so I rarely let him reciprocate. I wonder if I never get satisfaction when I let him go downtown (he has to practically beg!) because I can't relax enough to enjoy it. Any advice?"

To hear what Dr. Glickman has to say, read more

First off, the vagina is self-cleaning, as long as it's healthy. I mention that because I want to make sure that it's very clear that all of the myths about the vagina being dirty have more to do with sexism and sex-negativity than anything else. That was a bit different in the past, when women's medical needs weren't really addressed and things like yeast infections and bacterial vaginosis went untreated. At the same time, if you ever suspect that your scent has changed, that can be a sign of these or other conditions and it's worth getting checked out by a medical professional.

But assuming that there isn't anything like that going on for you, you definitely have my sympathies. Worries about our bodies and how our partners perceive us is a serious mood-killer. And the irony is that our partners often either don't mind or actively admire exactly those parts of our bodies that we're worrying about!

From what you've written, it sounds like your boyfriend has no problem going down on you. After all, if he's begging for it, it's probably something that he's into. How does he describe your scent or taste? If he's just as enthusiastic about that, maybe that can help you reframe how you feel about it. As the saying goes, we each have our own tastes (sorry for the bad pun, but I couldn't resist).

Try taking a shower before having sex. If you do it together, then it becomes part of the warm-up instead of a chore. While it may not be strictly necessary, if it helps you relax, there's no reason not to. Just don't overdo it with the soap. The vulva (the exterior female sex organs) is covered with sensitive skin and some women find that washing too much can be irritating. And don't get soap inside the vagina - it can be irritating or even set off a yeast infection if you're sensitive.

It might also help if the two of you approach oral sex as a pleasure in itself, rather than worrying about whether you'll have an orgasm from it. Set the bar a little lower for a while and aim for discovering ways that it can feel good for you, even if you don't have an orgasm. Make it a science experiment and have him try different techniques so you can discover how they feel. One great way to do that is for him to do two different things, such as sucking your clitoris or making circles with his tongue for a little bit. Then you decide whether you liked A or B more. It's a fun way to explore new sensations and keep your focus on what you're feeling, rather than worrying about your scent. If he needs some ideas for things to try, Tristan Taormino's Expert Guide to Oral Sex is a great DVD on the topic. Or check out Violet Blue's book Ultimate Guide To Cunnilingus for a fun read.

It could also be helpful if you ask your boyfriend for some positive reinforcement afterwards. After all, you're moving into an edge of your comfort zone and you deserve some hugs for that. When you're ready to move on from the oral experimentation, you'll probably feel better about it if he tells you how much he enjoyed it and that he's glad that the two of you are trying it out. If he goes too far and starts seeming pushy about it, that could backfire, so a light touch is better. But that's a really good way to make sure that you end on a positive note.

I hope that this helps. I know that it can be really hard when exploring out things that feel uncomfortable. It's a good idea to stretch enough to give it a serious try without going so far that it's too much. Take it slowly and remember - you want it to be fun!

Ask a Gay Woman: I'm Bisexual - How Do I Come Out?

TresSugar — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 16:00:00 -0700

Conventional Wisdom is a different kind of advice column. Your questions will be answered by people from all walks of life rather than by advice experts. If you have a question you'd like answered on Conventional Wisdom, you can submit it here.

This week, an out and proud gay woman helps a 16-year-old girl figure out how to come out. After you read her answer, be sure to check out TrèsSugar's Lesbian and Bisexual Support Group in the community, as well as TrèsSugar's Group Therapy group where I found this question.

Today's question: "I'm a 16-year-old girl who's currently in a relationship with a boy. I'm taking college classes along with my high school ones, and I have poetry that's published. People tell me everyday that I'm gorgeous and absolutely amazing. My downfall? If they knew I was bisexual, I would be alone. I've come out to three of my gay friends, but that's it. I was voted most optimistic for favorites, but people don't know how really miserable I am. I'm in love with a girl, and I want to give myself to her completely. To kiss her, to hold her. But I don't want to be hidden, and I don't want to lose everything I have. HELP ME, I'M BEGGING. Signed, Tormented."

To hear what a gay woman has to say, read more.

Dear Tormented,

I know what you are going through is hard and scary. When I was growing up I felt very confused about the intense feelings I had for other girls, and I couldn't even admit to myself that I was bi or gay, let alone anyone else. So first and foremost I just want to say that you are very strong and brave to admit these feelings to yourself and reach out. Please don't take your fear as a sign that you can't handle this - if you couldn't handle it I think you would have buried it way down and not even bring it up as a possibility. There are a few different things about your worries that I want to address:

First, before you decide how to handle your feelings about this other girl, you have to figure out your feelings for your boyfriend. Do you really want to be with him? Or are you just being with him because it is safe and simple? It is too hard to figure out how you are feeling about your sexuality and the girl you say you are in love with if it is all wrapped up with shame and secrecy about possibly cheating on the person you are dating. If you know deep down that it is someone else and not him you want to be with, then break up with him. You don't have to tell him all the details of why you are ending it - just that it isn't working for you right now. Then you can have some space and time to think through the issue of your bisexuality without the anxiety of betrayal.

Secondly, I am not sure exactly what kind of community and family you are living in, so it is hard for me to address how real your concerns are that you will lose "everything." It sounds like you have some gay friends, which means people are out in your community and you have some support, so I think you should consider that maybe after the initial shock this wouldn't be as devastating as you think. Definitely it is still not the total norm, but living in fear that you won't be accepted is making you miserable, so I am not sure that finding out that certain people will be fine with it and others won't be could be that much worse. But I think you need to talk to some people you trust to help you figure out how to best handle your specific situation. If there is a gay and lesbian community center in your town you could get some confidential advice from someone. There are also some good websites: Sex Etc. (a website about sex run by and for teens) and this Planned Parenthood teen talk blog.

The most important thing is to know that you are absolutely not alone with this, that a lot of people go through this, that you will be OK, and that there is a lot of support for you out there.

Signed,

A Gay Woman

Does Your City Stress You Out?

TresSugar — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 11:30:00 -0700

Your city's plummeting property values, high unemployment rate, extreme weather, or chronic traffic could potentially stress you out. Some metropolises have a perfect storm of frustrating factors that landed them on Forbes's list of America's Most Stressful Cities.

Coming in at number one is Chicago, thanks to the city's poor air quality, 11 percent unemployment rate, and falling home prices. Los Angeles comes next, then New York, Cleveland, and Providence, RI.

My current place of residence, San Francisco, ranks number six, but I beg to differ with its stressful status. Besides worrying about the next big earthquake, I find that my city's passable public transportation, moderate climate, and breathtaking views make me feel more relaxed.

What about you - does your city stress you out?

Front Page: Big Three on Hill For Round Two of Begging

CitizenSugar — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 08:00:29 -0800

The CEOs of the Big Three automakers are back on Capitol Hill today asking for a bailout. This time they are joined by the chiefs of the United Auto Workers union. - New York Times
A federal judge has banned Bratz dolls just in time for Christmas, ordering MGA to immediately stop manufacturing the dolls. The judge's ruling came after a jury determined that the creator of Bratz developed the doll while working at Mattel. - CNN

Kenya's prime minister has called on fellow African governments to oust Zimbabwe's President Robert Mugabe. - BBC News
Officials from China and the US met today for high-level talks regarding the global economic crisis. China said it would continue its currency reform but also told the US to get its economy in order. - AP

Source

Ruh Roh!

GiggleSugar — Thu, 09 Apr 2009 08:00:00 -0700

The female equivalent of having a ringtone that says "I'm a tits and ass man" would basically be any song by Peaches. (F*ck the Pain Away, with its charming first line, comes to mind.) But this commercial begs a couple questions. First of all, why is beer associated with douchebaggery? Second, doesn't being a "tits and ass man" just mean you're a hetero dude? Dumb.

Sunday Confessional - I Cheated

DearSugar — Sun, 05 Apr 2009 09:00:00 -0700

There's no way to sugarcoat this one - I cheated on my boyfriend of five years who I live with, with one of his best friends. I couldn't bear the lies anymore, so I told him the truth and begged for forgiveness, because I really do love him and want to spend the rest of my life with him. When I owned up to my infidelity, he thanked me for preventing him from making the biggest mistake of his life. Apparently he had a ring for me and was planning on proposing in two weeks.

I am absolutely devastated. I've told him that I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make this relationship work, but I have no clue what he's thinking. Do you think my slip-up is forgivable?

Source

You Asked: How Can I End It Once and For All?

DearSugar — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 12:30:00 -0800

Dear Sugar,

I tried breaking up with my boyfriend for the fourth time on Valentine's Day. He loves me very much and I care for him too but we just don't have a future together. He is a high school drop out, he doesn't have a job, he's thousands of dollars in debt, and has never tried to save for our future. I do a lot for him, but I'm tired of always giving and never receiving - I feel like we have had the same relationship for years and we are now at a standstill.

When I do try to break up with him, he cries and begs me not to leave, and it breaks my heart every time. I can't stand to hurt him which is why I find myself in this predicament. We don't live together or have children so it seems easy to make a clean break, but I just can't do it. Do you have any advice? -Stuck Stacia

To see DearSugar's answer read more

Dear Stuck Stacia,

I hear that you love and care for your boyfriend, but if you are not in love with him, and you know for a fact that you have no future with him, you just have to bite the bullet and get out of this relationship once and for all. He'll probably cry and beg for you back, but know that you'll only hurt him more if you stay. You've folded so many times before because you just weren't ready, so when you're finally in the right state of mind to break up, be strong and firm, and reassure him that you really are just better off as friends. This won't be an easy process, but after everything is said and done, I'm sure you'll feel a huge weight lifted off your shoulders. Good luck.

Source

Bed and Blackmail: Swiss Gigolo Swindled Wealthy Lovers

CitizenSugar — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 00:01:39 -0700

The richest woman in Germany gets seduced by a Swiss gigolo while away at a luxurious spa. As she carries on the affair, hiding it from her husband and children, the gigolo schemes with his Italian accomplice, who secretly films the lovers from a hotel room next door. The gigolo begs the unfaithful woman to give him $10 million to pay off a fictitious Mafia boss. Once she does, he demands more, or else he will reveal the evidence of her infidelity to the world. No, this tale is not taken from a trashy romance novel, but from a German courtroom.

Yesterday, Helg Scarbi, who's known as the "Swiss Gigolo" was sentenced to six years in jail, after blackmailing Germany's wealthiest woman, Susanne Klatten, and a list of other uber-rich lovers.

Klatten is the reclusive heir to the BMW fortune. She decided to come forward to authorities about the blackmail, and risk embarrassment. Because the seductive swindler confessed, he received six years, instead of 10. Does that sounds like a fair sentence to you?

View 5 Photos ›

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