TresSugar

Handle This: Your Date Invites Along Another Girl

DearSugar — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 08:00:00 -0700

Via a birthday party for a male friend, you meet a guy who seems absolutely great - he’s friendly and flirty, too! To top things off, he ends up giving you both his email and phone number before the night is over with the hope that you’ll call him soon.

When a group happy hour comes up soon thereafter, you decide to take the initiative and send him an email. You’re thrilled when he actually attends and seems just as into you as he was before. But within minutes of arriving, a girl shows up asking for him. It doesn’t take a genius to read their body language - it’s obvious they have something going on. Your intentions were clear, so how do you handle this?

Source

Group Therapy: Bar Guy or My Guy?

Thu, 27 Dec 2007 14:00:00 -0800

I know people say there is such a thing as "emotional cheating," but I wonder if this is more than that.

When I was 18, I started working at a bar close to my home. The owner's son also worked there; he is about three years older than I am and drop-dead gorgeous. He has a wonderful personality and makes me laugh. Everyone always joked that one day, we would end up together. Over the three years I worked at this bar, we had our little flings and drunken stupors. I always had so much fun with him, no matter what we were doing.

Since, I have quit the bar and have a "real job," and he is off at law school. I also have a boyfriend of a year and a half. My boyfriend is a good guy, but I don't have that same spark and connection as I do with . . . let's call him "bar guy." My boyfriend is a strong, sexy man. He is the rugged type, and that turns me on. Bar guy is smart, intellectual, and very handsome. A little less manly than I like, but everything else makes up for it. I know bar guy has feelings for me, and I have also always had feelings for him.

So at the bar's holiday party this year, bar guy was there. I had a wonderful time with him. We laughed, played darts, talked, and just had fun. I was having so much fun, I didn't want the night to end. So this is obviously emotional cheating, right?

Here are the more important questions I have been asking myself: Do I stay with my current boyfriend and just be blah-happy and comfortable? Or break it off with the current BF, pursue bar guy, and hope for the best? Or take a break from the current BF, take some time for myself, and see what is going on in bar guy's mind? What do you think?

Source

Dressed to Ill

GiggleSugar — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 02:00:00 -0700

Let's not skirt the issue: Girlfriend, you need to go up a size. (No ifs, ands, or butts about it!)

Source

Eligible Bachelor Du Jour Has A Giraffe Fetish

GiggleSugar — Wed, 18 Jul 2007 08:30:00 -0700

This dude can't score a chick. I wonder why. When he's not bragging about giraffe's neat-o tongue attributes or marveling at their unusual birthing methods, he's researching and updating his wall of giraffe facts. Sounds like a good time, right? (Confession: I kind of love him.)

This Is Your Captain Slurring...

GiggleSugar — Fri, 29 Jun 2007 11:00:00 -0700

I never thought I'd post anything from The Man Show (groan), but in the name of funny-- here goes. The hosts of the show dressed as pilots, played drunk, and paraded themselves around an airport to have a pranking good time with passengers and other pilots preparing for flight. How far did they take it? Let's just say that the "pretend crash" into the baggage carts was far enough.

You Asked: Did I Ruin my Chance?

DearSugar — Tue, 26 Jun 2007 06:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar--
The night of my 21st birthday I was incredibly drunk. I met a guy that night (before I got drunk) and he was really awesome. I ended up making myself look completely trashy in my opinion, dragging him into a bathroom and making out, before going home with him and having sex. This is not normally my style, and I do blame my severe intoxication. Is it possible that I could still pursue him after that? Is it possible for a relationship to come out of a HORRIBLE first impression? He was drunk as well, and the next morning he seemed OK but I've just never done anything quite like that, and don't know how to approach the situation. --Freaking out Frankie

To see DEARSUGAR's anwswer read more

Dear Freaking out Frankie--

First of all, what's done is done, so try not to fixate on the logistics of that night. I can almost guarantee that everyone has done their fare share of stupid stuff after having one too many, especially on their 21st birthday. With that said, yes, you can absolutely redeem yourself from your drunken first impression -- we all make mistakes.

You say he seemed OK the next morning -- did you talk at all? Did you exchange phone numbers or e-mail addresses? If you want to pursue him, by all means go for it, you have nothing to lose. Try saying something like this:

I wanted to apologize to you for my behavior on my birthday. That was totally out of character for me and I want to make it up to you, if you're interested, by treating you to dinner, and or a drink this weekend

This way you can express your embarrassment and let him know you are interested in seeing him again in a not so intoxicated manner. 21st birthdays are all about letting loose and having a good time, so as long as you act mature and completely yourself the next time you go out, I am sure you can start from scratch with this guy!! Good luck.

Source

Is My Boyfriend Bored With Us?

DearSugar — Thu, 10 May 2007 14:30:00 -0700

Dear Sugar--

My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year and a half and up until recently, he very rarely went out with his friends on weekend nights. He said that he preferred to spend weekend nights with me because he was sick of the bar scene. (He does spend time with his friends during the week and occasionally on weekend afternoons.) However, like I said, lately he's been making plans more often to go out with his friends on weekend nights and I'm nervous about it for a couple of reasons. Going to the bar with his friends on the weekend is something he did when he was single and more importantly, he said he was sick of that whole scene. Why the change all of a sudden?

I have to accept the fact that our relationship isn't brand new and as exciting as it used to be, he's now in that stage where he's re-establishing contact with his friends. It's healthy, I know this. It gives us time to be with our friends, but it's still scary because it's something new. How do I convince myself that this change doesn't mean that he's bored with us? And, how do I convince myself that one night out with his friends doesn't mean he's going to eventually want to spend EVERY weekend night with them?

--Nervous Nell

To see DEARSUGAR's answer read more

Dear Nervous Nell--

I definitely understand that this would make you feel a little insecure about your relationship but I wouldn't get too worked up just yet. It sounds like there was a time when he was into the bar scene, so maybe he's just craving some guy time which probably has nothing to do with how he feels about you.

Have you talked to your boyfriend about this sudden interest in going out all the time? Since you have been dating for such a long time, I'm sure he'll appreciate knowing how you feel. Don't be afraid to tell him that this sudden change makes you weary about the security of your relationship. Ask him flat out if there is something he's upset about, or if he wishes something were different in your relationship. Find out if he's bored, or possibly nervous that you guys are getting so close. Is it possible that he's feeling pressured about plans for your future together (did someone say engagement)?

If he says he just enjoys going out from time to time with the boys, know that time with his friends is healthy. Or, how would you feel about heading out to the bars with him? Perhaps you can compromise, he gets time with his friends, and you get time with yours, but are open with him about how much time you want to spend together so his bar hopping doesn't become a weekend ritual. Some time apart could be really good for your relationship -- there is something wonderful about missing someone, even if it's just for one night! Good luck Nell!

Source

You Asked: What Should I Do About my Bar-Hopping Boyfriend?

DearSugar — Thu, 19 Apr 2007 13:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar--

I am very frustrated and do not know what to do anymore, I constantly try to express my feelings to my boyfriend but am afraid that I am coming off as too easily irritated or upset.

Here is the situation: I have been with my boyfriend for almost 7 months now and one thing that has been bothering me is the fact that he goes out to bars quite often with his friends who 9/10 of them happen to be single. The only one that is not either does not go out or brings his girlfriend with him.

I tried to tell my boyfriend that once you are in a serious relationship you need to "tone" down the bar-hopping but he feels that I'm trying to deprive him from time with his friends. I feel hurt and upset. Last week he saw his friends 3 days in a row and out of those 3 days he saw me on the third day. Is it normal for me to not like the fact that he is bar-hopping with his friends all week while I sit at home and worry or is this normal? What should I do?

--Frustrated Felicia

To hear DEARSUGAR's Answer, read more

Dear Frustrated Felicia,

It sounds like you guys are simply not on the same page. It seems like you have the right idea of how an adult relationship should be - that you spend a certain amount of time together, certain times apart, and you don't go out drinking with your friends all week. Is his bar hopping making you upset because of the fact that he is spending his time with his single friends? Are you finding it difficult to trust him when you are not together?

You have every right to be upset with your boyfriend's actions. The bottom line is, he's not listening to you or respecting your needs in this relationship. Have you tried making a compromise? Perhaps suggest he spend 2-3 nights with his friends, and 2-3 nights alone with you. Or, how about suggesting going out with your boyfriend every once in awhile?

If you can't come to an agreement, I'm sorry to say that you might be better off without this guy in your life. Maybe he needs to "sow his oats" before he can be in a serious committed relationship with you. Either way, you deserve to be with someone who wants to be with you - not someone you have to convince. I wish you luck Felicia!

Source

The How-To Lounge: Getting Served at a Crowded Bar

DearSugar — Tue, 20 Mar 2007 06:31:00 -0700

Have you ever wondered why some people have an easier time than others getting a drink at a crowded bar? A fun night out with your friends can turn frustrating if the bartender keeps passing you by. You really only need two things to get a drink: Good positioning and a good attitude.

For some helpful tips on how to get served at a crowded bar read more

The most important thing to remember at a crowded bar is to keep your cool and keep patient. Don't be pushy or snappy or snarly, and don't wave money around in hopes of getting the bartender's attention
If the line is a few people deep, wait your turn and shimmy your way up once you see an opening, and stand your ground. Never stand in front of the waitress station; that will not help your cause
As soon as you're positioned, make eye contact with the bartender and make an impression. Smile, wink, give any small, friendly gesture that might help you get reprioritized
When the bartender looks at you, be ready to tell him or her exactly what you want. In a crowded bar, try to keep your drink order simple. Complicated specialty drinks will just slow down the process, creating more frustration for other patrons
Don't mumble your order. Sometimes using your hands to help describe your order or the number of drinks is a good idea in a loud, crowded bar
Bartenders like it when you pay in cash, especially for small orders, Cardinal rule: don't forget to tip well. As a rule of thumb, tip $1 per drink, but if you want to make a good impression, an extra dollar or two isn't a bad idea and might expedite things next round
Bartenders typically serve familiar faces and regulars before anyone else, so get to know your bartender on slow nights
No matter how long the line, keep your cool and be polite. Bartenders don't tolerate impatient or rude customers. You'll be remembered for nice manners and a friendly demeanor

As the days get longer and the weather warmer, I'm sure your favorite restaurants and bars will get more and more crowded. Keep these tips in mind. And cheers!

Source

Don't Fall For This Web Cam Scam!

GiggleSugar — Tue, 06 Feb 2007 13:00:00 -0800

Forget sniffing for the lingering scent of the "other woman" on him or checking his account for extraneous dining expenses, because there's a new clue for all you nosey Nancy Drews out there...the web cam. Can it be trusted?