Last week, we watched a dog have his way with a bunch of balloons— that is, pop 74 of 'em in a mere 57 seconds. According to reader Megatron, this strong performance is the norm in "the high stakes world of competitive canine balloon popping." But our friend below wanted to move beyond the upper limit and pop what no dog has popped before: 100 balloons in 77 seconds.
You're horrified? Imagine if you were this woman!
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When he's not making everyone take a paternity test, Maury's exploring the world of irrational phobias. From peachphobia to cottonphobia to picklephobia, he's been there, done that. And the following phobia will blow your mind: balloonphobia.
Remember the dork who crawled into a giant balloon? He's not alone. The following dude also likes to bounce around like a rubber ball on steroids.
That's right. Remember the weirdo who attempted to crawl himself inside a giant balloon, but failed? Well, third time's a charm, and I'm happy to report that his success spared us the very charming view of his belly-suffocating Fruit Of The Looms this time around!
There's something to be said about having goals, but not this kind of goal. Sideshow Bob here has "ambition" to squeeze himself into a giant balloon. It's not his first attempt and unfortunately, it won't be his last.
The more I hear about Richard Heene, father of Balloon Boy, the more I'm frightened by the man. Before he and his family took over the media yesterday, Richard was busy starring in videos in which he comes off as hostile and misogynistic.
Here are my top five reasons this man is a jerk:
Who needs fancy instruments when you have balloons, pins, a video camera, and a girl who recites two words? The creator hopes it will blow up, so to speak, on the Internet. (I'm doing my part to help.) Maybe Peaches will sample it for her next electro-raunch album?
Party? I want this gorilla at my wedding — with balloons.
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