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Ballad
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To Beard or Not to Beard?
Men's facial hair has always been an enigma to me. With all the options out there — from beard to mustache to soul patch (shudder) to goatee to side burns — how does a dude decide? It never occurred to me that an agonizing day of windowsill moping, reflection dissection, and chanting was involved.
Do You Like Britney's "Gimme" as a Ballad?
Despite its lackluster debut at the VMAs, Brit's "Gimme More" became an insta-hit. Its formulaic blend of upbeat tempo, enhanced vocals, and ear worm lyrics made it an unsurprising dance floor favorite. But, what if we slowed the groove down and made a love ballad out of it— would you want more of it?
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2 Girls, 1 Cup: A Ballad
Okay. This next one comes with a caveat: listener beware, your ears may be permanently damaged. If you don't live online, you're lucky you have no idea what the terrifying words "2 girls, 1 cup" evoke.
Paris Hilton Power Ballad
When Paris Hilton was on "Larry King Live" recently, she read her own writing a scripted message about what it means to make mistakes and learn from them. Life, she said, is "A Process, A Gift, and A Journey." Speaking of "journey," here's a Journey-style power ballad based on those wise words.
Baby Belts Out Ballad In Bathroom
I've heard of singing in the shower--but on the bathroom floor?! Hey, you take inspiration where you can find it, and this cute little kid is practicing her pipes in what she thought was a private place. Belt it out, cutie!
Do, Dump, or Marry? Spike Jonze
Director, skateboarder and all-around Gen X superhero Spike Jonze was told that turning the beloved children's book Where the Wild Things Are into a movie couldn't be done without serious artistic compromises. Well, not only did he prove his naysayers wrong, his movie was number one at the box office over the weekend!
This iconoclast has been doing his own thing for a while, though, starting out as an untrained videographer for skateboarders, moving on to direct cool videos for bands like The Beastie Boys, and following up on Being John Malkovich and Adaptation with a filmic ballad for the latch-key generation.
The Sad Ballad of the Missing Bike Pump
This poor person is trying to leave a small carbon footprint by biking everywhere. But what do you know? Someone took his bike pump.
Late Night Burrito Place: The Power Ballad
Did you just get fired from Radio Shack, did the woman you tried to pick up have a boyfriend who threatened to kick your ass, or did you just total your car? Whatever your damage, there's nothing like a late-night burrito place to provide the greasy goods to cure what ails you. God bless America and good night.
Ballad of a Burnt-Out Voiceover Artist
I've always wondered what a voiceover artist would sound like from day to day. Their voices are always so extremely something — deep, authoritative . .
The Ballad of Miss Kitty and Smoochy the Pooch
Sometimes, the universe lines things up just right. A cat loses her kittens; an indifferent doggy gives birth to a litter of pups. (You see where this is going).
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