TresSugar

Baby Got Book

GiggleSugar — Fri, 13 Apr 2007 01:00:00 -0700

Remember Sir Mix-a-Lot's big hit Baby Got Back about ladies who had "L.A. faces" with "Oakland booties?" (How could you forget?) Well, some Christians have done a pretty awesome job cleaning up the profane lyrics and turning this peaen to women with junk in their trunks into a righteous shout-out to God and the Bible. Does it work? You decide.

The Dark Side of Cute

TresSugar — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 15:00:00 -0800

Kittens in casts. Babies nudged to laugh every five seconds. Stuffed teddy bears left at killing-spree sites. We are so surrounded by the tyranny of cute that even multibillion-dollar corporations have cute names like "Google" and "Twitter," and the uncute business of insurance is represented in ads by a cute lizard with an English accent. (And yes, I too am guilty of spreading cuteness.)

What's up with the cute? Writer Jim Windolf has had enough and decided to try to get to the bottom of what he calls the "self-infantalization" of Americans. His conclusion? There's a dark, manipulative side to cute. If you want to know what it is, read more.

In Daniel Harris's book Cute, Quaint, Hungry, and Romantic, he says that there's a hidden sadism to our love of cute, citing the barrage of images of cats falling, puppies slamming into mirrors, and even babies trapped in high chairs being prodded to laugh.

"The process of conveying cuteness to the viewer disempowers its objects," he writes, "forcing them into ridiculous situations and making them appear more ignorant and vulnerable than they really are. Adorable things are often most adorable in the middle of a pratfall or a blunder." In other words, they are cute insofar as they are helpless, and we, conferrers of cute, are all-powerful.

Becoming cute, conversely, is one way of disarming opponents or critics. It's not incidental, argues Windolf, that the cult of cute in the US emerged during the Bush years, when "the American image went from that of protector to invader, from defender of human rights to aggressor on the lookout for loopholes in the Geneva Conventions." Cuteness then, according to this theory, "came about as some sort of correction, as a way for us to convince ourselves and our friends that we're not as bad as our recent national actions have made us seem." (It reminds me of smiley emoticons at the end of passive-aggressive email messages and instant messages. In this case, American cute is like a ginormous cultural smiley face emoticon tacked on the end of dubious actions telling our allies we're not all that bad.)

Windolf traces American cute back to Japan's kawaii culture, which got huge 10 years ago but actually emerged at the end of WWII after it was "humiliated and emasculated." If you're interested in political and cultural psychoanalysis, I suggest reading this long essay. But whatever you do, remember - ~~sometimes a cigar is just a cigar~~ sometimes a cute kitten isn't just a cute kitten.

Source

Debate Rebate: Our Reactions to the Last Presidential Debate

CitizenSugar — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 19:37:58 -0700

They may have very well saved the best for last. This was the most direct, most on task, most like an actual conversation debate we've had thus far. And not a moment too soon. The candidates were juxtaposed beautifully and answered questions not only on specific policies, but on the conduct of their campaigns. It was nail-biting, uncomfortable at times, but deftly handled by moderator Bob Schieffer. Here's what we thought:

Citizen: Wearing each other's "team" ties in what I hoped was a nod toward cooperation, the economy was ripped open right at the start. Both candidates spoke straight at the camera, directly it seemed, to me. It was eerie and wildly effective, with Joe the Plumber becoming an instantaneous celebrity, the cornerstone of their duel over small business taxes. Earmarks and pork barrel and budget overruns, oh my. I do like Obama's line of needing a "scalpel, not a hatchet," if only because it comforts me that he intends to cut spending as well.

When Schieffer pinned the candidates down on the negative aspects of the campaign I was breathless. It was baldly frank (seeming, I mean it is politics) talk, and when McCain whipped out the stat that Obama had spent the most money on negative campaign ads, it hit home - but was parried well by Obama's stat that six in 10 perceive McCain as negative. Then, the politest knock down-drag out on Ayers and ACORN. We knew it was coming all day, but when it did it was all the more potent. When Roe v. Wade popped up, I was actually heartened to hear civilized talk of the difference between choosing judges for their ideologies, and choosing judges for their adherence to the Constitution - it could be the most cogent debate on the issue we've had thus far.

To see the rest of my thoughts, and what Liberty has to say, read more.

As for the "Gore sighs" the nonverbals that will kill a performance: both were guilty of the smirk, if only perhaps to relieve the tension. I know I could barely handle it, it stands to reason it had to express itself somewhere, so to speak. In all, the debate was like a floaty butterfly fairy tale meets a brick wall. The second you got caught up in the story Obama was spinning, then came McCain with his smack down of reality. Even 20 months in, it was confusing and captivating and perfectly encapsulated these diametrically opposed yet unflinching campaigns - and illuminated the very choice we all have to make in 20 short days. Now as Bob Schieffer's mother says, "Go vote now. It will make you feel big and strong."

Liberty: In the most high tension, and perhaps most conversational, debate John McCain came out looking for a game changer. McCain seemed rested and eager (did you hear the Al Gore sighs?) while Obama seemed reluctant and a little low on energy. Still, Obama's calm demeanor allowed him to rise above a potential catty debate, and focus on his issue advantages.

Coming out strong, McCain's crisp statement: "Senator Obama, I'm not President Bush" had no matching punch line from Obama, perhaps giving McCain an edge in the sound-bite battle.

In the middle, the candidates spent much time talking about attack ads, leaving me lamenting that this is what the American people get to listen to from their presidential candidates. By noting that William Ayers has become the center of McCain's campaign, Obama made McCain's campaign look deaf to the real issues facing the American people. After setting the record straight about his strained connection to Ayers, Obama then took the opportunity to make a positive and reassuring argument about the capable people who will advise him, such as Warren Buffet and former NATO head Jim Jones.

After a discussion on healthcare, which left me thinking Obama knows more about McCain's plan than McCain does, the two got talking about abortion. Obama called out the McCain/Palin refrain that he supported infanticide, pointing out that there was already a law on the books requiring care to babies of botched abortions when he voted against an Illinois bill for other reasons.

Obama then took the dialogue to another level saying that he wants everyone to work together to reduce the number of abortions and promote adoption. McCain went on to slam the pro-choice movement with the pejorative "pro-abortion." I'm still wondering if considering the country's at war and in an economic crisis, and after eight-years of a pro-life President and more Roe v. Wade, whether the abortion discussion was worth the time.

While this was McCain's best performance by far, I think Obama maintained a presidential and informed presence. Maybe I can find Joe the Plumber and ask him what he thinks.

What did you think?

Source

Come Story Telling with me!!! The Completed Story

DearSugar — Sun, 02 Sep 2007 10:00:00 -0700

I hope you all enjoyed this new feature as much as I did! Your wild imaginations made for a great story line! To read the completed tale you all helped create, read more

I can't believe it's the end of summer. I am stoked to have a short week and all, but it just seems too early for it to be Labor Day weekend already I should take advantage of the last days of summer before Fall hits considering I haven't completed any of the tasks of my summer to do list: loose ten lbs, dump the boyfriend, take a road trip, and start a book club with my girlfriends so thank god for labor day weekend so I can relax, have a drink or ten and wallow in the end of summer.

It was too late to lose the weight or start a book club by next week, but I definitely had time to lose the loser boyfriend and organize a road trip. I picked up my cell phone. Who should I call first? My soon to be ex-boyfriend or my best friends and potential traveling buddies?

I decided he's wasted too much of my precious time to give up yet another one of my cell phone minutes, so I chose to call the girls instead. We'll discuss our plans over mojitos! If I drunk dial him after nine pm it will be less painful for me emotionally and painless on my wallet!

Hoping to get it over with quickly, I called him from the parking lot at exactly 9:03 pm. He picked up so fast I could barely catch my breath, and in one long run on sentence said "Baby, I'll call you back in five minutes, if you don't hear from me, call the cops, but don't come here, please don't come here!" The line went dead and in my mojito induced stupor I wondered wtf had he gotten himself into now. So, I sent him a text message and say, "I think we should see other people." As I see a hottie across the room . I drop my phone and forget about the loser and whatever he's gotten himself into this time.

It feels like I'm gliding across the room on clouds towards this new guy. His piercing blue eyes seem to be pulling me towards him with some sort of magnetic force.
"Hi." I speak in barely a whisper. I was feeling a little dizzy. Was it the mojitos or his eyes?
"Hi back" he says. "You look like you could use a vacation..."
"Well", I offer, "I like pina coladas, and getting caught in the rain. I'm not into yoga and I have half a brain. I like making love at midnight, in the dunes of the cape. If you've got a few hours, we'll just make our escape..."
And he says " I want to kiss you all over and over again " And then my boyfriend texts me saying "If I could fly I'd pick you up and take you into the night and show you love like you've never seen.

"Too late, you're history." was my quick reply and then I let Bright Eyes sweep me off my feet with a kiss that made me feel like I was the only woman in the world for him. Not one to normally kiss on the first date, let alone a complete stranger but I felt sexy and audacious.

After our kiss, I winked at him and glided back to my friends, who were in complete shock. "What has gotten into you?!" They exclaimed. "One too many mojitos, I guess." I sighed as I gazed across the room at Mr. Gorgeous. "Well, time to snap back to reality, honey," my friend Jessa said, "Cuz you just made out with the governor's son." "He says he wants to take me on a vacation," I said, not hearing what Jessa said.
"Well, he could certainly afford a nice one." was her reply. "What about Ryan?" She asked. "He's in trouble again. We're over." I said. "I'm thinking of asking this guy if he'll see me again, though, so let's decide where we're going on our trip next weekend."

I look back at my new man and notice he looked timeless; he could have indeed been here from another era - a time when masculinity oozed, and woman swooned! Yes I was indeed eating him up in my mind. Did he notice how completely intoxicated I was? don't burp I tell my self and stand up straight.

He had barbarian strength and held me in his arms easily. His warrior eyes pierced through the thin fabric of my half open blouse and he seen my readiness more and more with each breath I took. Just then, my phone rang. Annoyed, I excused myself and flipped open the phone.
"What is it?!" I huffed out angrily, not looking at the caller ID but knowing it was my boyfriend.
"Hello. This is Officer Belmont. Do you know a Mr. Ryan Williams?"
"Y-yes," I stuttered. "What is this about?"
"Ma'am, I found Mr. Williams cell phone at the scene of the crime, and your number appears multiple times in the call log. What exactly is your relationship to Mr. Williams?"

My heart felt like it slammed to a stop. "I am..well, was his girlfriend. I called him to break up and before I could say a word, he told me he would call me right back and to please not come to where he was. He almost begged me. Then he texted me, and I texted him back telling him it was over. I have been here with my friends for 2 hours" The officer was subdued for the moment and said "Well, OK, but we need to talk to you in person. I will stop by your place tomorrow"

I hung up before remembering I would be going on vacation so, to make sure I was gone since I didn't want to be caught up in another one of my now ex's problems, I saunter right on up to the Governor's son and said "So, you think I need a vacation? How about you take me on one right now?"

"Perfect timing." was his response as he grabbed me by the waist and led me out front. Recognizing his high profile face, the valet quickly retrieve his car. Top down, wind in my face, handsome not-so-stranger by my side, just like that we left the city. As for Ryan: an afterthought, I'll deal with him after I actually enjoy the end of my summer!

Come Story Telling with me!!! The Completed Story

DearSugar — Sun, 17 Jun 2007 10:00:00 -0700

I hope you all enjoyed this new feature as much as I did! Your wild imaginations made for a great story line! To read the completed tale you all helped create, read more

I buckled my seat belt, lowered the shade, and put my eye mask story short, they join the mile high club when he realizes that she's his first girlfriend with a major makeover. (I'm talking complete overhaul, from Susie Bookworm to Bunny McBoobie). Of course I don't find out about this until my wedding night, when I dump his sorry butt instead of having a night of romance and rapture....so I'm in Cancun alone and heartbroken, when I decide, screw Cancun, it's full of American tourists. I need to get away from everyone involved with my wedding day. That's why I booked this flight to Thailand. I'm dying to see the beaches where the movie the Beach was filmed. If only I could find Leo waiting there for me. Although I knew I should be using this time for some much needed self reflection, I again said screw that -- I need to start having some fun. I can't sit around and mope the entire time I am in Thailand, I need to LIVE! My first day on the beach, I cozied up at the bar at my hotel, ordered a Sing Ha when a Taye Diggs dead ringer said, "I don't mean to bother you but can I buy you a drink?"

Immediately, my mind floated to that movie with Claire Danes and Kate Beckinsale. If I said yes to this guy, would he later put cocaine in my backpack and watch me get arrested and thrown in a Thai jail? Then I remembered the second Bridget Jones. Can't be all that bad can it? I looked Taye Diggs' doppelganger straight in the eyes and said, "I'd love a sex on the beach." With a devilish smile, and a suppressed laugh, he ordered, and winking at the waiter, said, "don't keep this lady waiting!" I was so flattered, and a girlish wave of excitement came over me, and just as I was thinking about how the day I dump my fiance I meet a new man, my drink came, and my elbow knocked it off the counter and onto his shoes until his girlfriend walks up. and says "What the Hell is going on here" in the snottiest tone of voice known to man.

I was extremely embarrassed from the spilled drink and she took my flushed cheeks as a sign of hanky panky between us. She launched into a rant about how he never respects her and this is why they are breaking up for the last time. She then turned on her heels and walked off. He said to me "sorry you had to witness that" Well that totally killed the mood so I said, "yeah, me too, but you'd better go after her." Seeing his girlfriend's retreat reminded of my own recent retreat, and I didn't want to trade one liar for another. "Excuse me, I said" and carried my new drink onto the beach. I was ready for some alone time and a nice walk, but it wasn't in the cards. Within minutes, a little boy wondered up to me "you buy pearls from me" he said with a huge smile on his face and held up some poorly strung plastic beads. "how old are you?" i asked him. "special deal! just for you!" he says, waving the beads around as if they are mystical. "no beads" I say "but here's $20. go home now it's late". he considers the money for a moment and then runs off without so much as a thank you. "come back here!" i hear a woman call "you no good little thief!" she looks after the boy and says to me "did he sell you MY PEARLS!?" I play dumb "who?" she doesn't bite "I saw you talking to that little thief!" "oh he was only a boy" I say. she runs after him, screaming about her precious pearls. "thank you" I hear from the boy as he scurried off. I looked down at myself, my hair was a mess, I smelt like tanning oil from being at the pool all day and I definitely needed a shower. I decided to call it a quits and began walking back to my hotel room when I think my heart may have stopped.I mean an abrupt stop at what I could have sworn was the hottest man in all of Thailand. He was on his cell phone and had a bag over his shoulder; it looked like he was just checking in. It took me about 30 seconds to realize that I had been standing there staring at him like a fan to brad pitt. I immediately snapped out of it and began walking towards my destination (elevators) which coincidentally happened to be right by him. As I swayed over in the most feminine walk I could stir up...whisked my hair over my shoulder and got ready to flash a smile, I noticed. a gold band around his left ring finger. As I felt the crushing blow, he looked over at me and grinned. His teeth were shining white, which only made my disappointment grow. I hurried toward the elevators, and pressed the button that would summon the machine. I waited, shifting my weight from side to side, I looked over and the man with the ring stood next to me. I could smell his expensive cologne wafting over and I nervously pressed the button again. He leaned toward me. "Do not be swayed by the ring." He whispered in a heavy accent. "It is my grandfather's wedding ring. When he died, he left it to me. It's the only finger it fits on, deceiving I know but it let's me weed out the good girls from the bad ones.

After letting out a huge sigh of release, to myself of course, I knew I had to act fast. "I am glad you said something, I was beginning to think all the good ones were taken". Did I really just say that, I thought to myself, without even knowing this mans name? "My name is Phoebe by the way" as I reached out my hand He smiled widely, took my hand, and gave me a steady, firm handshake. "Hmm..." I thought. "Now, this seems like a real respectable man." As the elevator doors opened, he motioned his hand for me to go first. I smiled, and we entered a very crowded elevator, full of people that smelled like musty water. Suddenly, e whispered into my ear, "can I buy you a drink after I drop off my bags?" Without thinking twice, I replied, "meet you in the lobby in 30!" Before he had a chance to respond, the elevator doors opened on my floor, I winked a goodbye, and ran down the hallway to my room so I could jump in the shower and make a quick change. So, I'm in and out of the shower lickadee-split, running around the room furiously getting ready when I stop and think "this is too good to be true." Um, yeah, wait a second, that's exactly what it is, it's too good to be true. Something seemed a little off about that whole interaction. Oh well, cest la vie! I have nothing to lose. Just as I'm throwing on my shoes and praising myself for getting ready so fast, I see that the message light on the phone in my hotel room is blinking. Hmmmm, that's strange, no one knows I'm here. So I pick up the phone to listen to the message, and it is the wrong number. I transfer the message back to the front desk and head out the door. As I stroll through the lobby I see he is not there. I sit in a chair, again contemplating if this is a good idea. I just ran away from a big mistake minutes before I was to walk down the isle. All of my family is probably wondering where I am and what happened. I decide to stroll back to the lobby looking at the industrial and downtown scenery. Telling myself: I wish it wasn't this complicated, but i guess i'll be patient." While i was looking at the scenery, i finally spotted her walking with a midnight blue gown with cobalt blue heels that make me think of her as the universe in the night that glitter with stars. I was suddenly hypnotize but thought, wow I didn't realize Angelina Jolie is here at this hotel. I wonder if she is doing a photo shoot or baby shopping. As I watched her from afar, I felt someone touch my arm. I turned suddenly to see the guy from the elevator standing by my side. "You ready for that cocktail, Phoebe?" He says, his voice soothing, deep, and sexy. I smile and say, "Absolutely" only once i got halfway into the word I burped! Seriously? omg. I felt my face burning from the shade of red it is, and then he burps too. I immediately had to suppress a giggle. I said "Well, excuse us both" and I held is arm as we walked to the bar. I couldn't quit thinking he must be a nice guy to immediately come to my aid like that. But I must keep a clear head. we just met! I just left someone at the altar and these thoughts i am having about a total stranger are ridiculous. I let go of his arm as we take a seat. Immediately our eyes met and something about them told me he was kind. He smiled as he reached across the table to brush the hair from my eyes. "Thank you" I mumbled, unable to fully comprehend what was happening to me. "So, tell me your story Phoebe",I beamed inside and thought, ME...he wants to know about ME. Just then he started to tell me about his Thai dance troop. He asked if I had ever danced or worn a costume. I told him never and he said I looked like just the kind of girl to play the part of the monkey in his troop. He even ordered a banana drink for me. Just as I was ready to accept, my cell phone rang. It was so loud it made me jump. It was none other than my devious, once-fiance.

I saw a look of disappointment on my date's face as I said "Just one second. I'll be right back, Aaron." I answered the call and exasperatedly said, "What? What is it now?" The fiance from hell replied "Phoebe, I.. I need some help I think you had my return ticket in your bag. My flight home leaves later today and I can't find it anywhere." "Just like, you," I sniped, "only calling when you need something. And anyway, what if I do have it? How is that going to help you get out of town today?" "Good point," he said, "and Phoebe, I didn't call because I lost my ticket. I called to say I love you and I'm an idiot and, well." "That's all well and good, but it's over," I said. "Have a nice life, I'll leave your ticket at the front desk."

Jerk.

As I hung up the phone I realized, wait, he has no idea where I am so leaving it at the front desk isn't going to be doing him any good.. oh well, to hell with him, I need to move on, and the one I want to move on with is sitting at my table inside. I walked back to my table and sat next to my lovely stranger. "Is everything alright?" he asked with utter sincerity 'Everything is great! I am ready for that drink!' Then I proceeded to tell him a little about myself. I did not talk about the past few days because I had decided if this went any further it would just be a vacation fling.

After 4-5 drinks he suggested dinner. I agreed and we walked the 2 blocks to this fabulous seafood restaurant. he walk to the restaurant with Aaron felt so natural. Laughing, and walking arm and arm, it was picture-esque I suppose you could say. The warm night and lamp-lit sidewalks only added to the dream-like, two-block walk. We finally arrived at the restaurant. The ambiance was filled with the buzz of busy chatter, the clang of silverware to plates, and the exotic mingling of spices mixed in with oysters, prawns, and catfish. We sat down to dinner and began what ended up being a very pleasant evening. We danced under the stars to a live jazz band at "Chandra's"(the local hot spot) enjoyed each other's walk down memory lane, and finally shared a passionate, yet respectful display of affection until Aaron finally walked me to my room. No sooner had I opened the door when all of a sudden my cell phone rang again. It was the loser in Cancun that had no ticket! He seemed like he really missed me at this point but who wouldn't being in a foreign country alone and with a hurricane coming. No ticket, no passport, no wedding; too bad he was such a creep to me. Now he must be thinking I would be suckered into whatever was up his sleeve. I stared at my phone for a second and flipped it open, "Yes?" "Phoebe, come on. You gotta forgive me. I just need my damn ticket and you're being selfish not letting me have it."

"Oh well, I don't even know how to send it to you. Why don't you just buy a new one? I don't have time for this." I snapped then paused for a moment. "...And selfish? I'm not selfish. I'm not the one who went stir crazy and joined the mile-high club with some prissy, fake breasted airline stewardess!" The rest of the conversation was him babbling, and finally I told him I'd end this civilly. I told him I didn't want him trying to contact me anymore. And I hung up.

"Sorry about that again... although this is a lot to take for one night, I really hope my ex isn't changing your opinion of me. I had a wonderful time with you tonight, it was actually the right time in, wow, so long I can't even begin to pin point it, where I actually had fun! Thank you."

"Phoebe, I think your delightful, and no, this night only made me respect you more. Goodnight, I also had a wonderful time with you, can we do it again tomorrow night? I would love to see you again."

A rush of emotion fell over my entire body as I replied, "Absolutely, I would love to see you again. Sleep well and I will see you tomorrow."

Needless to say, I slept like a baby.....