TresSugar

Attention Wal-Mart Shoppers!

GiggleSugar — Tue, 28 Aug 2007 08:00:00 -0700

I'm surprised this doesn't happen more often. A prankster picked up one of the intercom phones located in a local Wal-Mart to share a very important, family-appropriate announcement with the entire shopping community. I love the uncomfortable silence that followed after the dude got caught. And what, no punishment?

Baby Got Back: A Folk Song?

GiggleSugar — Tue, 29 May 2007 16:00:00 -0700

Sir Mix-A-Lot can rest easy. No one can hold a candle to his classic anthem to ladies with junk in their trunks: "Baby Got Back." This is an interesting folk-song rendition by Jonathan Coulton--love the backup singers earnestly warbling "L.A. face with an Oakland booty..."

Baby Got Book

GiggleSugar — Fri, 13 Apr 2007 01:00:00 -0700

Remember Sir Mix-a-Lot's big hit Baby Got Back about ladies who had "L.A. faces" with "Oakland booties?" (How could you forget?) Well, some Christians have done a pretty awesome job cleaning up the profane lyrics and turning this peaen to women with junk in their trunks into a righteous shout-out to God and the Bible. Does it work? You decide.

The Dark Side of Cute

TresSugar — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 15:00:00 -0800

Kittens in casts. Babies nudged to laugh every five seconds. Stuffed teddy bears left at killing-spree sites. We are so surrounded by the tyranny of cute that even multibillion-dollar corporations have cute names like "Google" and "Twitter," and the uncute business of insurance is represented in ads by a cute lizard with an English accent. (And yes, I too am guilty of spreading cuteness.)

What's up with the cute? Writer Jim Windolf has had enough and decided to try to get to the bottom of what he calls the "self-infantalization" of Americans. His conclusion? There's a dark, manipulative side to cute. If you want to know what it is, read more.

In Daniel Harris's book Cute, Quaint, Hungry, and Romantic, he says that there's a hidden sadism to our love of cute, citing the barrage of images of cats falling, puppies slamming into mirrors, and even babies trapped in high chairs being prodded to laugh.

"The process of conveying cuteness to the viewer disempowers its objects," he writes, "forcing them into ridiculous situations and making them appear more ignorant and vulnerable than they really are. Adorable things are often most adorable in the middle of a pratfall or a blunder." In other words, they are cute insofar as they are helpless, and we, conferrers of cute, are all-powerful.

Becoming cute, conversely, is one way of disarming opponents or critics. It's not incidental, argues Windolf, that the cult of cute in the US emerged during the Bush years, when "the American image went from that of protector to invader, from defender of human rights to aggressor on the lookout for loopholes in the Geneva Conventions." Cuteness then, according to this theory, "came about as some sort of correction, as a way for us to convince ourselves and our friends that we're not as bad as our recent national actions have made us seem." (It reminds me of smiley emoticons at the end of passive-aggressive email messages and instant messages. In this case, American cute is like a ginormous cultural smiley face emoticon tacked on the end of dubious actions telling our allies we're not all that bad.)

Windolf traces American cute back to Japan's kawaii culture, which got huge 10 years ago but actually emerged at the end of WWII after it was "humiliated and emasculated." If you're interested in political and cultural psychoanalysis, I suggest reading this long essay. But whatever you do, remember - ~~sometimes a cigar is just a cigar~~ sometimes a cute kitten isn't just a cute kitten.

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Hump Day: Why Do I Get Dry Sometimes?

TresSugar — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 04:00:00 -0700

Welcome to Hump Day, TrèsSugar's sex advice column. Are you confused about sex? Do you have trouble having an orgasm? Is there something you'd like to try but you're worried it's too weird? Send your questions to TrèsSugar, and our friend Dr. Charlie Glickman from Good Vibrations will offer his sound advice!

Today's Question:

"I get really dry sometimes when my boyfriend and I are having sex. I know all about lubricants, but I'm having trouble guessing when I might need help." To read Dr. Glickman's response, read more

There are a lot of reasons why women experience fluctuations in how much they lubricate. For some, it’s just part of the menstrual cycle. Some women lubricate more at ovulation, while others say that’s when they’re driest. Lots of women also report that their vaginal lubrication changed when they got pregnant and again, some say that they became much wetter and others say that they got drier. So while we know that changes in hormones can influence it, there’s a lot of variation in how much and in what direction. It’s also worth mentioning that menopause generally reduces how much lubrication your body will produce.

Lots of medications and drugs also affect vaginal lubrication, even if it’s rarely listed on the bottle or box. For example, allergy medications are formulated to dry the mucous membranes in your sinuses, but they can do the same to the vagina. Anti-depressants, antihistamines, anxiety medications, smoking cigarettes or marijuana, and drinking alcohol can do the same. In general, if a medication or drug makes your mouth or sinuses dry, it could also reduce vaginal lubrication. Unfortunately, most doctors are unaware of these effects or they don’t feel comfortable talking to their patients about it.

I think it’s really unfortunate that we have this cultural myth that vaginal lubrication is proportional to arousal. Many women find that they can be totally turned on while being pretty dry and others might be quite wet while barely aroused. The best thing we can do is learn to separate the two things in our minds.

You say that you know about lubricants, but for the folks who don’t, here’s a little info.

There are pros and cons to the lubricants on the market, and it can take a little experimenting to find one that will work for you. You might also find that a lube that worked great for a long time isn’t working so well anymore. It’s kind of like shampoo or skin lotion - after a while, you might need to change brands as your individual chemistry changes.

Water-based lubricants can be thin and slippery, or they can be thicker gels. They rinse away really easily, making cleanup a snap, but they do dry out after a while. The glycerin-based lubes last a bit longer, but they tend to get sticky when they dry out. You can add a little water or saliva to freshen them up. While glycerin doesn’t cause yeast infections, it can make one worse if you get one for some other reason, so if you’re prone to yeast infections, avoid these lubes. The glycerin-free lubricants don’t get sticky, but they usually don’t quite last as long. They soak in like hand lotion, so adding water doesn’t work; you need to add some more.

Silicone lubricants don’t dry out (so if you spill some on the kitchen floor, be sure to wipe it up) and are hypoallergenic. They’re also waterproof, which is a plus if you want to have sex in the shower but it can make them a bit trickier to clean up and they sometimes stain sheets. They’re also hypoallergenic and have no taste or scent.

Some people like to use oils as sexual lubricants. If you want to give them a try, use something organic and vegetable-based, such as coconut or almond oils. Mineral oils like baby oil or Vaseline actually dry the skin since the body can’t absorb them or break them down. Coconut oil is solid at room temperature, so it doesn’t go rancid. Keep almond oil in the fridge. And never use oils with latex condoms, diaphragms or cervical caps. Oils will make them dissolve: a condom will break in about 30 seconds if it comes into contact with oil.

A few tips for using lubricants. First, keep the bottle near the bed. You’ll want to be able to grab it when you need it. Second, pump bottles make it a lot easier to add more without fumbling to get the bottle open. Third, if you accidentally get too much lube out of the bottle, don’t put the extra back in. You don’t want to contaminate the bottle with anything that might be on your hand. And lastly, many lube makers offer single-use packets or small bottles. While they cost more per ounce than larger bottles, you can stick them in a pocket or purse pretty easily, not to mention your carry-on bag.

So I think that the best thing for you to do is to keep lube handy and use it when you need it. It takes about 5 seconds to apply and it’ll make sex a lot more fun. And don’t stress about whether it means anything that you sometimes need a little extra slipperiness.

Don't forget to send your questions to TrèsSugar, and our friend Dr. Charlie Glickman will offer his sound advice!

"Baby Got Back" As A Lullaby?!

GiggleSugar — Tue, 20 Mar 2007 02:00:00 -0700

Ross and Rachel are funny, but they need to "rap" this song up already...before baby got nightmares!

You Asked: My Husband Has Gotten Fat!

DearSugar — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 12:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar,

I love my husband. He is everything I ever wanted in a man and more - about 25 pounds more. When we first met, he was very fit and athletic, but over time he's really put on the chunk. I find it very unattractive and I am much less interested in sex now, and it's starting to cause problems in our relationship because he feels rejected. I've never outright told him to lose weight, but I'm starting to think I should.

I'm fit and healthy (I'm training for my second marathon) so I'm constantly exercising and eating right. I always prepare healthy meals and have plenty of healthy snacks in the house, but he continuously goes to the grocery store to buy junk food, he goes out to lunch at work, or he eats obscenely unhealthy portions of what would otherwise be a healthy meal. When I invite him for a run or to walk the dog, he's not interested. What do I do? - Turned Off Olivia

To see DearSugar's answer, read more.

Dear Turned Off Olivia,

So this doesn't cause any more strain on your relationship than it already has, you've got to speak up and tell him what's on your mind ASAP. Not only is it important so you can salvage your relationship, but his unhealthy eating habits are most definitely wreaking havoc on his mind, body, and spirit.

Talk to him in a very nonthreatening tone so he won't get defensive, and instead of turning it into a "you need to lose weight" conversation, approach the topic as a life change you'd like to see him make. It sounds like your husband has simply slipped into an unhealthy rut, so work together to break this new cycle. Turn the nightly dog walks into time spent together, and if he needs those occasional breaks from the diet food, indulge in a pizza night together or treat yourselves to an ice cream cone every once in a while. As we all know, depriving ourselves of the things we love could throw off our weight loss plan all together so start with baby steps.

At the end of the day, your husband is still the same guy he was before he put on the chunk, so speak up, be honest with him, and hopefully he'll make getting back into shape a priority for him and you. Good luck!

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This Week With DearSugar

DearSugar — Sat, 29 Nov 2008 04:00:00 -0800

If you're traveling this weekend, learn some mindless love statics by state by taking this fun little quiz.
Steve is back, weighing in on whether hot men are only interested in hot women. Do you agree with what he's got to say?
Are you affectionate in front of your family?
Is the place where you lost your virginity on my list of 10 common places to lose it?
When you're not getting it on, how do you keep the romance alive?
Besides our lady business, what other organ is self-cleaning?
Does this time of year make you want to have a baby?

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You Asked: Should I Let This Sleeping Dog Lie?

DearSugar — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 06:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar,
I have been with my boyfriend a little over two years. On Feb. 14 of this year, we got engaged. Prior to the engagement, we discussed having another child - we each came into the relationship with one. He gave into my desires and said we could try at some point. After our engagement, we weren't trying, but weren't not trying and I got pregnant, quickly. He freaked and said some horrible things. He tried to force an abortion on me and got mad when I refused. He then went back and forth saying he would be there for us, but then told me it was over.

We haven't seen each other in over a month and we rarely talk, but when we do, he's cold and heartless, insisting he wants nothing to do with the baby. He says that we would have "been fine" had I not "gone against his wishes and gotten pregnant." My question to you is, should I just let this sleeping dog lie and let him sign away his paternal rights when the baby is born (as he wishes), or should I try to pursue this relationship? - At a Loss Annabelle

To see DearSugar's answer, read more.

Dear At a Loss Annabelle,

As hard as it might be to walk away from the man you love, I happen to think it's your only option. We all know it takes two to tango, so if you're weren't using protection, it was obviously just a matter of time before you got pregnant. With that said, if he was truly against the idea of having another child, he should have been doing his part (wearing a condom) to avoid this situation.

When people take wedding vows, they commit to love and honor their partner from that day forward. Since you are engaged to take such vows, it's pretty clear from his actions that it was just a matter of time before a breakup ensued. I have to say I'm pretty shocked by his intense anger toward you, so something tells me there's more to this story. Whether or not there is, he doesn't sound like a man you want to be with, or someone you want to father your child. His abusive words are cruel and undeserving (from this vantage point), so I say let the dog sleep and walk away.

Since you don't know what the future holds, I'd hold off on taking away his parental rights legally, but I strongly urge you not to pursue this relationship. Keep your distance and take care of yourself and the baby. If he continues these tirades once the baby is born, I'd advise you to take 100 percent guardianship of your child - the well-being of your family should far outweigh a potential relationship with this man who has made it very clear that he doesn't want to be with you. I wish you luck.

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Dudes For Palin? What the Times Is Saying About the GOP

CitizenSugar — Mon, 20 Oct 2008 06:00:58 -0700

You know how there are just some girls who always seem to have a pack of guy friends? According to the Times, Sarah Palin is the candidate equivalent of that. With crowds that seem to be tipping heavily male (I suppose the legendary Joe Six-Packs?) the vocal man-fans aren't afraid to be heard. With calls of, “You tell ’em baby,” and “You rock me out, Sarah,” Palin seems to be comfortable with the demographic saying, “I feel like I’m at home."

At one rally a female supporter taking a snapshot said of the ratio, “This is not a ladies campaign. There seem to be lots and lots of guys here. I’d guess 70-30, maybe 65-35, men to women. It’s quite noticeable to me.”

To see what the Times had to say about another woman on the trail, Cindy McCain, as well as Christopher Buckley, read more.

This weekend also saw a piece on Cindy McCain the response to it has vacillated from "humanizing" to "gutter journalism." Touching on her challenges as the second wife in Washington, her substance problem, and ties to the Keating scandal, the piece also notes: "Mrs. McCain has exhibited the signal trait of the political spouse: a burning desire to win."

Christopher Buckley also got his time in the Times sun this weekend, with a feature on his now famous decision to back Obama. In the piece one friend says, “When you live in that Buckley bubble all those years, you’re not really allowed to say what you think. This is probably the last liberation for him. He put his flag in the sand.”

What do you think of the Times' coverage of the Republican Party recently?
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