TresSugar

Racial Preferences in Dating: Fetishism or Not a Big Deal?

TresSugar — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 12:00:00 -0700

We all have our physical preferences when it comes to finding a romantic partner. Some women want men to be tall, broad shouldered, and dark haired. Men may want a big-breasted blonde. We objectify those we find attractive to some extent, but what are the implications of preferring someone of a different race?

After reading an article a friend sent me, A White Woman Explains Why She Prefers Black Men, I realized that there's a big implication: the desire could be based on racial assumptions and stereotypes that, just because they're "positive," don't make them any less pernicious, objectifying, or, to put it bluntly, racist. Want to find out about racial fetishism? Then read more.

Whether you have "jungle fever" or "yellow fever" (you date blacks or Asians exclusively), you would be described, in the parlance of the day, as having a "fetish." One thoughtful person has explained a fetish this way:

Sexual fetishism in general is the sexual attraction to something which is not in itself a sexual object, such as feet or leather. Sexually fetishizing a person or group of people however means reducing them to objects, important only in their sexual function or interest to the fetishizer. Race fetishization means effectively reducing all members of a racial group to a monolithic whole, only valued in terms of their racial stereotypes. You are hearing racial fetishization when people talk about how black men have big penises, Asian women are exotic and submissive . . . just because a stereotyped characteristic is a "good" characteristic, that doesn't mean it's not racist.

So how does our White Woman (who is also a sex columnist) Who Prefers Black Men rate on the racial fetishizer scale? She's off the charts, a textbook case. Here are some salient bits from her essay.

That phrase, "Once you go black, you never go back'" is all about the feeling of the skin . . . Black men have more energy, style and edge than white men . . . something white guys don't have anymore: confidence in their masculinity, their sexuality . . . I am sure there must be some black men who aren't good in bed. Personally, I have not experienced one who isn't . . . They look better than white men, they touch and kiss and make love better than white men. Statistically, their penises are only a fraction of an inch bigger on average, but they seem bigger and harder . . .

Obviously, this white woman likes black men - a lot. It's all about sexualizing them, though, reducing all of them to their skin, to their presumed sexual prowess, their instinctual energy and innate masculinity. If racism is about assuming things about people based on their physical traits, how is this not racism? More disturbingly, her desire, conscious or not, participates in the kind of sexualization of black men that once justified their persecution and even murder.

So what to do about these nonpolitically correct desires? Censor them? Pretend they don't exist? One of my favorite sex columnists, Dan Savage from Savage Love, provides some intelligent advice. He never argues that we should police our desires, just that we be aware of where they're coming from and what they could mean in how we treat our partners. "There's nothing wrong," he tells one person seeking advice who has a fantasy of having a black man have sex with his wife, "with treating someone like a piece of meat during sex . . . some people enjoy being treated like pieces of meat . . . Consent is . . . always and everywhere the magic ingredient . . . As long as you understand the cultural forces that shaped your fantasy . . . there's nothing unethical about realizing your fantasy."

One wonders if these black men who Susan Bakos hooks up with know that she views them all the same way. (One wonders if she thinks viewing them this way is problematic at all.) The heart may want what it wants, Woody Allen said euphemistically about hooking up with his adopted daughter, but that desire can have ripple effects far beyond the couple in question, particularly when one woman's desire is presented, without any qualms or self-questioning, in an essay many people will read.

Gwen Stefani in "Aren't Asians Great?"

GiggleSugar — Wed, 21 May 2008 11:00:14 -0700

OK, it's not really Gwen, but she's a pretty good impersonator. In this Mad TV spoof of Gwen Stefani and her mute human accessories the Harajuku Girls (here played by the awesome Bobby Lee), we're asked to think about what it means when some people looooooove Asian culture (or what they stereotype as Asian culture) a bit too much. My fave line? "Sour and sweet/bound feet!" That pretty much sums it up.

Ever Wondered Why Asians Seem Like Better Students?

CitizenSugar — Fri, 25 Jul 2008 09:00:28 -0700

A group of eight students at Lincoln High School in Los Angeles hunkered down in a room to talk about a touchy subject: What's behind the Asian math-whiz-valedictorian stereotype - and why do other ethnic backgrounds appear to come up short in the classroom?

Long thought to be traceable to socioeconomic backgrounds that theory no longer makes the grade. At Lincoln High School both the surrounding neighborhood and student body are 15 percent Asian - why then do Asian students make up 50 percent of the Advanced Placement classes, and teachers can’t remember the last time a Latino was valedictorian?

The students' talk about the difference was frank. When talking about a Hispanic student who was good at math one said, "I think Carlos is Asian at heart," and described one Asian student who didn't get good grades as, "Mexican at heart." The students squashed the economic background reasoning, agreeing that of their school, the Latino and Asian students came mostly from poor and working-class families.

Looking further at census data, 84 percent of the Asian and Latino families in the area earn below $50,000 - stumping the fact that the Science Bowl team is 90 percent Asian, as is the Academic Decathlon team.

To see possible reasons for this, read more.

The students say that Asian parents are more likely to pressure their kids to excel academically. "My parents are always like, 'If you don't do well in school, then it's all going to be worth nothing,' "
Peer expectations also enforce the stereotype. "They expect me to be smart. Even if, like, I do everything wrong on purpose, they still copy off of me - as if I'm right just because I'm Asian."
Research studying the Mexican work ethic found that labor and education occupy the same pedestal of importance, and in some cases work is even more valued, "In Latino families, being able to work to provide defines your manhood, your worthiness."

Do these reasons seem plausible? Is it possible to figure out why stereotypes exist?

Source

Margaret Cho On Asian Chicken Salad

GiggleSugar — Sat, 30 Jun 2007 02:00:00 -0700

Margaret Cho talks about how, although she often forgets she's Asian, there are plenty of people in line to remind her. Check out her hilarious fantasy response to the nervous flight attendant who changes "Asian Chicken Salad" to just "chicken salad" when he gets to her seat.

Asian-American Dude Does 500 Impressions In Two Minutes

GiggleSugar — Fri, 06 Apr 2007 10:50:00 -0700

Don't believe it can be done? Just you wait!

Grab Bag: Fun With Asian Stereotypes

TresSugar — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 12:48:49 -0700

WTF, Marie Claire! Stereotypes about "Asian trophy wives." - Jezebel

Hot bald guys. - Lemondrop

Celebrity Barbie couples that would be fun to see. - Your Tango

Interspecies lovin': monkey meets bunny. - PetSugar

How do I taste better down there? - Em & Lo

41 crazy ways men think they can make us swoon. - The Frisky

Has the whole Cougar thing gone too far? - Single-ish

This squirrel has won me over. - Urlesque

Asian Fusion - Japan Reconnecting With China and Hello Kitty

LibertySugar — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 10:00:25 -0700

Japan and China reached a deal yesterday about long-disputed gas fields located in the East China Sea. The two countries will share the profitable gas fields; Japan's private sector will invest in Chinese development. Japan's Prime Minister Yasuo Fukuda eloquently said: "We will turn it into a sea of peace and friendship."

The Chinese government is officially into the deal; a foreign ministry statement said it will help foster a "healthy and stable" relationship between the Asian neighbors. But in an unusual fashion, China allowed, and even helped, nationalist protesters to demonstrate against the deal.

In other Japanese news: Sanrio Co., the company behind Hello Kitty, plans to give the cat character a fresh dose of Japan-ness. The surrogate Japanese ambassador will now infiltrate Chinese markets, as well as markets in Russia, India, and America, in a more Japanese fashion - via electronics. The company will sell digital cameras shaped like Hello Kitty's face, kitty-clad USB memory cards, and a globular humidifier (I'll have to look that up) shaped like the cat.

Hello Kitty, who gets paid for her TV appearances, is a tourist attraction for Japan's visitors who stock up on everything Hello Kitty while in the country. Considering Japan's tourist ministry just appointed Hello Kitty to represent Japan in China, I wonder if the expressionless cat had anything to do with the gas field deal between the two countries!

Source

Microsoft Changes Race in Photo, Then Apologizes

TresSugar — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 11:00:00 -0700

If you're going to change someone's race on your corporate website (which you shouldn't!), you might want to do a better job with the Photoshop. Microsoft got itself in a bit of trouble when its Polish-based unit altered a photo on its website by replacing a black man's face with that of a white man's but forgetting to change the color of the man's hand.

Microsoft's US web site had the original photo of two men: one black, one Asian. But apparently Poland isn't ready for that. Some point to Poland's ethnic homogeneity as a motive for the (sloppy) alteration, and in the meantime Microsoft has apologized.

What do you make of Microsoft's offense?

Al Sharpton on Michael Jackson

TresSugar — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 14:20:00 -0700

“It was Michael Jackson that brought blacks and whites and Asians and Latinos together. Because Michael Jackson kept going, he created a comfort level, where people that felt they were separate became interconnected with his music. Later, it wasn’t strange to watch Oprah on television. It wasn’t strange to watch Tiger Woods golf.” [MJ made people] “comfortable to vote for a person of color for president.”

– Rev. Al Sharpton at Michael Jackson's memorial service. His songs from Thriller were the first songs from a black recording artist to be played in heavy rotation on MTV, paving the way for other black artists during a time when the music channel featured mostly white artists.

L'Oreal in Hot Water For Racial Discrimination

TresSugar — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 11:30:00 -0700

"Because you're worth it" is L'Oreal's brand slogan - but in France, a few bad apples seemed to think only white Garnier hostesses were worth hawking their shampoo to customers.

An executive from Garnier, L'Oreal's beauty division, sent out a fax in 2000 instructing headquarters to find an all-white team of sales staff to promote Fructis Style. The code term? Find Garnier hostesses, the fax instructed, who are "bleu, blanc, rouge" (blue, white, red), the colors on the French flag and code in business recruitment circles, apparently, for white French people born to white French parents. This directive would have ruled out black, Asian, or Arab representatives, in effect excluding around four million ethnic minorities and people of color that make up France.

France's equivalent of the US Supreme Court, La Cour de Cassation, said that the policy was illegal under French employment law. Although the employee who sent out the fax denies discriminatory intent, claiming that she just wanted hostesses who could "express themselves correctly in French," employees claimed that they were given verbal instructions to favor white sales staff.