TresSugar

Book of the Day: Are You There Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea

GiggleSugar — Tue, 18 Mar 2008 09:30:58 -0700

Oh, Chelsea. For a lady who claims to drink so much, you sure look so fresh and so clean. This book isn't out yet, and I was only so-so about her last one (My Horizontal Life), but anyone who messes with a Judy Blume title this cleverly deserves a chance. I wonder if she says, "I must, I must, I must increase my. . .tolerance"?

Do Tell: How Long Does It Take You to Fall in Love?

TresSugar — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 10:00:49 -0800

According to new research, it's usually a man who says, "I love you" first. Yes, somebody actually studied this. The researchers reasoned that in general women have a more realistic view of relationships, and are thus, less likely to get carried away early on. On average, it takes a man about seven months to fall in love, while it takes cautious women a whole eight months. If you've ever been in love, how long did it take before you knew it?

Ask a Wife: How Do I Stop Being the Other Woman?

TresSugar — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 08:00:58 -0800

Conventional Wisdom is a different kind of advice column. Your questions will be answered by people from all walks of life rather than by advice experts. This week, a woman in a happy marriage tries to help out a woman stuck in an affair. If you have a question you'd like answered on Conventional Wisdom, you can submit it here.

Today's Question:

I am involved with a married man and I don't know how to stop. He's been married for a couple of years, and his wife often goes out of town. I feel like I'm in a relationship with him: he calls or texts before he goes to sleep, cooks me dinner when he can, and we talk about almost anything with each other. I don't expect him to leave his wife for me, and it doesn't seem like he's going to. He just says he wishes we would have met before he got married. I know deep down that this is so wrong, but I feel like I can't do anything about it. I feel too happy when I'm around him. Help!

Signed,
The Other Woman

To see the advice, read more.

Dear The Other Woman,

I have some bad news and some good news. First, the bad news: you are not happy. You are in a relationship that is damaging to both you and this man's wife. The only person remotely benefiting from the situation is this unfaithful person you are involved with.

Now the good news: real happiness does exist. You can find someone - who's not married - to talk, laugh, cry, and have sex with. And it will be so much better. But first you need to do some work on yourself. Look at your life and decide what type of person you want to be. Do you want the adjectives selfish, dishonest, and disrespectful to describe who you are? Or would you rather have the words loving, faithful, and complete describe your behavior and your relationship? Next you need to boost your confidence. Think about what has made you do something that is undoubtedly so hurtful to yourself and this other woman. Is it because you are afraid of being alone? Is it because you think this is the best thing you can get? If so, let me tell you that a little patience can go a long way. Focus on the things you really enjoy in life (do you like running? painting? traveling?), the things that make you excited, and you will only become more desirable.

The search for love is a hard and frustrating one, but you are just going down a dark and depressing path with nothing but hurt waiting at the end of it. End things with this unavailable man, figure out why you love yourself, and then you will find someone who loves you for all those qualities too.

Signed,
A Wife

Sunday Confessional: She's Feeling Jealous

TresSugar — Sun, 22 Nov 2009 10:00:05 -0800

This week's anonymous confession comes from the TrèsSugar Community group Confession Booth. This confessor finds herself worried about her boyfriend's co-worker. She explains:

"Before we started dating my boyfriend slept with someone he still works with. He just recently told me this and it's driving me nuts!!!!!!"

Do you think this is a big deal?

Real or Fake? Headlines of the Week

TresSugar — Sun, 22 Nov 2009 08:00:07 -0800

News can get pretty weird. Our Stranger Than Fiction feature covers a lot of it, but there's much more useless information to know. I've gathered some of this week's most bizarre headlines and mixed in some made-up ones. See if you can spot the real from the fake.

Take the quiz

Très Trivia! Are You in the Know?

TresSugar — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 14:00:38 -0800

This week China welcomed Barack Obama to town by selling random things with the president's face on it. Do you know what other stories lit up the headlines?

Take the quiz

Play Battle of the Books - For a Chance to Win $1,000!

TresSugar — Sun, 22 Nov 2009 00:00:22 -0800

In TrèsSugar's Battle of the Books faceoff, we've pitted some of the most influential books against each other. Pick which one you'd rather read, and we'll find out what's top shelf.

Finding titles to add to your holiday reading list not incentive enough? We'll be giving away a $1,000 grand prize each month - you must be logged in, and you'll be entered once every time you play. (Check out the official rules here.) What are you waiting for? Get choosy.

How Would You Feel?

TresSugar — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 04:00:04 -0800

This post comes from Group Therapy in our TrèsSugar Community. Feel free to add your advice in the comments!

I'm 20 years old and have been dating this guy for four years. Last night, I was using his computer and I saw that he searched for plus size lingerie. My feelings were instantly hurt. I felt so fat! I think that my boyfriend should not make me feel like that! He has never called me fat or anything, but just the fact that he looked at plus size lingerie says that he thinks it! If I ask him if he thinks I'm fat or anything he, of course, denies it. He says that if he thought I was ugly he wouldn't be with me. So, what now? Am I just overreacting? I am so hurt!

There's lots of great stuff going on in our community - join it, check it out, share your posts or advice in the great groups and maybe we'll feature it here on TrèsSugar!

East vs. West: Berlin Wall Divided Two Attitudes Toward Nudity

TresSugar — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 08:00:49 -0800

When the Berlin Wall fell 20 years ago last week, East and West Germany had to integrate two very different cultures. Freedom may have spread quickly through the East, but nudity - the East's favorite and perhaps only freedom - never caught on in the West.

Freikörperkultur (FKK), or liberal body culture, was really the only way to rebel in the East, where the most quotidian details of people's lives were observed by the Stasi, East Germany's secret police. Though the East German government forbid FKK at first, many government officials were into walking around nude, so they protested with the argument that "doing FKK" did not mean you weren't a good communist. Good point - don't they put kids in school uniforms to level the playing field? What's more egalitarian than wearing nothing!

Yet on the west side of the wall, the attitude toward nudity was more on par with America and its don't-even-discuss-it-in-public ethos. A West German interviewed a former East German for Vice magazine to find out what's so great about wearing nothing. Check out some of the highlights after the jump.

Grab Bag! Problems in Your Relationship? Just Do Lunch!

TresSugar — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 13:00:18 -0800

Lunch dates might be the key to a happy relationship. - Glamour
How long do men think sex should last? - Em & Lo
Today is the 11th annual Transgender Day of Remembrance. - Feministing
Police ticket underage kid for holding a beer in a Facebook picture. - The Awl
Pride and Prejudice would be much better with a 20-page sex scene. - Jezebel
Should posting an inappropriate comment on the Internet get you fired? - GeekSugar
And here are some cats sitting like humans. - Urlesque