TresSugar

Group Therapy: How Do I Deal With My Friend's Annoying Habit?

Mon, 16 Mar 2009 04:00:00 -0700

One of my best friends has a very sensitive constitution - if her stomach isn't upset, she's got a cold, or the shingles, or the flu - you name it, she has it. She's one of those people who will tell you exactly how she's really feeling when you simply say, "Hi, how are you?"

Her latest thing is that she's been diagnosed with IBS, which explains her multitude of stomach problems and food sensitivities. Today I met her and a couple of other girls for lunch. We were discussing what to eat and she went on to say, "I was thinking of the pasta, but then I'd probably have diarrhea later today because of the wheat." I've learned to just tune her out, but after she left, one of the girls proceeded to tell me how annoying her constant need to complain is. I know she doesn't mean to do it and I want to help her out, but how do I tell her nicely to stop bringing up all her ailments? I don't want to offend her (she's pretty sensitive), but sometimes it's just overkill and I feel like it's my duty as her friend to tell her that she's starting to annoy people. Is it worth saying something or should I just leave her alone?

[EDITOR'S NOTE: To read more GROUP THERAPY, click here or submit your own question here.]

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You Asked: How Do I Tell My Bridesmaid to Back Down?

DearSugar — Fri, 09 Jan 2009 11:56:14 -0800

Dear Sugar,

I recently got engaged, and as you can imagine, this is an extremely exciting time for me. I am beginning to plan and consider ideas for the wedding, but one thing I've already gotten out of the way is the bridal party. I have a very close family and was having a difficult time choosing between my two cousins as bridesmaids. I was very close with one as a child, but I'm closer to the other cousin as an adult. In the end, we put both my cousins in the wedding and added a groomsman to my fiance's side.

My cousin from childhood was incredibly excited and wants to play a major role in my day. Unfortunately, her enthusiasm was much more than I had ever anticipated. She signed me up for several wedding websites and my email and phone number has now been solicited everywhere. She insisted that her daughter be my flower girl and even went as far as to tell me what colors I should avoid and which colors I should choose. I need help! I have tried confronting her and she will back down, but then do something else pushy. How else can I deal with this situation? - Bugged Bride

To see DearSugar's answer read more.

Dear Bugged Bride,

Your wedding day should be about you and your husband - not about your bridesmaid. While I'm sure she's just trying to be helpful, she's overstepping her boundaries and you need to explain that to her. Being in someone's wedding is a huge honor, and I'm sure she's simply trying to take as much off your plate as possible. But it sounds like you want to be a hands-on bride so assigning her tasks might be the way to go.

Planning a wedding is a very stressful time and it's not uncommon for relationships to be strained during the process, so be as open and honest with her as possible so your friendship doesn't suffer the consequences. Let her feel needed, but not at the expense of your own feelings. Good luck and congratulations!

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You Asked: Can I Learn to Tolerate Her?

DearSugar — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 06:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar,

I have been great friends with my boyfriend for 10 years now and we have been dating for three. Throughout that time, I've become close with many of his friends. I love them dearly and I respect the close relationships he has maintained throughout the years, and I know that they respect and love me as their own good friend now too. Unfortunately, from day one, I have never really taken to my boyfriend's best friend's now-wife. She was rude to me when we began dating and later explained that she just didn't like "outsiders" dating her best friend - but I'm not an outsider! We were friends for 10 years before we started to date! Of course knowing how much his friends mean to him, we laughed it off. As the years pass, I can't help but cringe when I find out she will be anywhere we are. And the sad thing is I absolutely adore her husband. He is sweet, kind, smart, and a ton of fun. In social settings, she is alienating, rude, loud, unkempt, and just a total nightmare to be around.

I love all the other guys’ girlfriends, but this one makes my skin crawl and I can't take it anymore. What can I do to have a good time when we're all out? I hate having my evenings ruined because I have to listen to the loud, obnoxious things that she says. Any ideas? - Fed Up Phoebe

To see DearSugar's answer, read more.

Dear Fed Up Phoebe,

Just from reading your letter, I can feel your frustration. It sounds to me like this woman is very protective of her friends, but since you've been part of this group for three years now, it's absolutely time for her to let you in. Since she and her husband are constant fixtures in your boyfriend's life, you're going to have to make this tolerable somehow. Whenever I meet people that I don't mesh well with, it's easy for me to pick up on the things I don't like, but I've found that once I fixate on the negatives, I end up disliking that person even more. So, instead of letting her get under your skin, try to find some good in her, or at least something you have in common. I also suggest talking to her. If she's affecting you this much, chances are she feels it too, so perhaps a good heart-to-heart is in order.

Since you've made friendships with the other girls, try to hang out with them more when you're in a group setting. I'm not telling you to alienate her - two wrongs don't make a right - but when she starts to annoy you, simply walk away. Unfortunately, not everyone gets along, and while it can cause awkwardness within a circle of friends, it's important to realize that you don't have to be her best friend in order to have fun with everyone else. Perhaps after a talk you guys can agree to disagree, but keeping the elephant in the room is only going to make matters worse.

Source

Did You See the Insane Advertising During Gossip Girl?

GiggleSugar — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 13:00:00 -0700

An unnerving new trend in advertising is to bypass the commercial breaks and promote an upcoming TV show while another show is in progress. Miniature versions of the other show's characters walk into view and perform unnecessary antics while the show you intended to watch is up and running. Frankly, it's rude. So these two dudes decided to parody the new phenomenon and promote their fictional show, Cop Nation, during a highly dramatic episode of Gossip Girl. The results are hilarious.

What Would Andy Samberg Do for a Klondike Bar?

GiggleSugar — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 01:00:00 -0700

The annoying talking food phenomenon continues! Heartthrob at large, Andy Samberg, has a problem. His Klondike bar just got dumped, it's feeling kinda lonely, and wants someone to hang out and snuggle with. Andy doesn't typically "snuggle," but will he do it for a Klondike bar? He says "no." The manipulative ice cream treat has another answer in mind. The sitch goes sour from there . . . (Warning: NSFW language)

Mascot Terrorizes Spring Breakers

GiggleSugar — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 11:30:00 -0700

We've seen our share of mascots forgo the "rah-rah" routine to duke it out with each other on the sidelines instead. I guess showing team spirit involves a killer left hook and a hard kick to the groin these days. Lovely. So it should come as no surprise that this here mascot went on Spring Break and took his aggression to the beach - where he could chase down, kick, or crush any unsuspecting sun soaker. Kids included.

Handle This: She Copies You

DearSugar — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 12:00:00 -0700

Your roommate is practically perfect. She’s clean, kind, totally responsible, and she’s turning out to be a great friend, too. There’s just one small problem, as you guys have grown closer she seems to have picked up a new habit - she copies everything you do.

At first you try to write things off as coincidence, but before long you just can't make excuses for her anymore. She buys the same clothes as you and she decided that your favorite movies are hers, too. You feel like you’re back in junior high, except she’s calling your friends separately, flirting with your boyfriend, and she's even started to mimic your eating habits. She's obviously insecure and you don’t want to make her feel bad, but you just can't take it anymore, so how would you handle this?

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Please. Make. The Laughing. Stop.

GiggleSugar — Mon, 24 Sep 2007 15:00:00 -0700

A baby laughing is cute, a Yogi laughing is disturbingly entertaining, but the sound of the following woman laughing is something straight outta Nightmare on Torture Street. Consider yourselves warned. (And here's a challenge. The video is a whopping 6 minutes and 40 seconds long. I'd otherwise edit this, but I want to know how long you can sit through it without scratching your eardrums out. I lasted a mere 1:44.)

It's. A. Game.

GiggleSugar — Mon, 13 Aug 2007 10:00:00 -0700

Someone needs to take a wad of paper and shove it in this guy's mouth. Whaddya know? Paper wins!

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Introducing: "Moantones" Ringtones

GiggleSugar — Fri, 27 Jul 2007 13:33:43 -0700

As if cell phones aren't obnoxious and annoying enough, some horny bastard is marketing a new line of erotic ring tones called Moantones. His name is Johnny Carcinogen (how appropriate) and he runs a website where peeps can download robot voices, sexy screams, dirrty talk, and spanking sounds straight to their phones. Oy vey. But I think it's safe to say that the punks with these ringtones probably don't get many calls anyway. One would need (girl)friends for that.