TresSugar

Creepy-Ass Sci-Fi Valentine Is Killing Me

GiggleSugar — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 15:00:00 -0800

Valentine's Day is long gone, I know, but this is too unworldly to keep to myself. What lunatic actually thinks that an alien pointing a gun at his love, while robotically chanting "you must be mine" and "obey me," would make any gal swoon? He's gotta be joking, but even so, this is more nightmarish than funny. Run, Lisa Peters of Dublin, run! No, don't booty dance- run!

The Price Is Right: Equal Opportunity Alien Employer

GiggleSugar — Wed, 24 Oct 2007 12:25:46 -0700

The Price Is Right is a sinking ship. I wonder how Bob Barker feels about this ridiculous showcase showdown storyline involving an overweight alien? If "E.L.T." really wanted to lose weight, she could just phone ~~home~~ Jenny. Ha.

NASA Astronaut Says Alien Visits Covered Up by Governments

LibertySugar — Fri, 25 Jul 2008 06:00:36 -0700

If anyone knows whether extraterrestrial life exists, I'm guessing astronauts do. Dr. Edgar Mitchell, a 77-year-old former NASA moon-walker with Apollo 14 says that aliens have visited Earth many times, but that governments have concealed contact with these small-framed and large-eyed creatures for over 60 years.

"I happen to have been privileged enough to be in on the fact that we've been visited on this planet and the UFO phenomena is real. I've been in military and intelligence circles, who know that beneath the surface of what has been public knowledge, yes - we have been visited. Reading the papers recently, it's been happening quite a bit."

In the radio interview, Mitchell said earthling technology is "not nearly as sophisticated" as the aliens' and "had they been hostile, we would be been gone by now." NASA responded to Mitchell's comments by saying, while Dr. Mitchell is a great American, the agency does not share his opinions on this issue.

This isn't the first time the astronaut has talked about non-human beings. For more on that, read more.

Mitchell, who established a research center to study "consciousness" in 1971 when he returned from his space mission, had an epiphany as he saw planet Earth floating freely in space. He has described it like this: "The presence of divinity became almost palpable, and I knew that life in the universe was not just an accident based on random processes . . . The knowledge came to me directly."

I'm not sure what to make of Mitchell's assertions about extra-terrestrial life and the conspiracy to cover it up - but why would he make this stuff up?

Source

You Asked: I'm Feeling Alienated

DearSugar — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 06:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar,

I'm 24 years old, married, and kid-free. While this seems to be the ultimate lifestyle in my mind, I'm feeling more and more left out and alienated by my friends. Seven of my friends had babies in the last year. The few who haven't are single, and they spend their weekends barhopping and looking to hook up. I can't relate to either of these situations, and I'm feeling as though I no longer have any close female friends.

I haven't been able to get together with anyone in months, as my single friends don't make plans in case they get a date and are not interested in, say, a dinner party when they could be out clubbing. The new moms don't go out much, and when they do, all the talk is baby-related. I've known all these women for many years and I'd hate to write them off completely, but I'm starting to feel like I need a new batch of friends. Do you have any advice? - Neglected Nadine

To see DearSugar's answer, read more.

Dear Neglected Nadine,

I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling left out, but instead of thinking you'll have to find all new friends, I think you should try figuring out how to maintain the friendships you have now, just in a new way. Since you're all in such different places in your lives, and you're right in the middle of each group, it's important to be flexible with each other's schedules. You say that your single friends aren't interested in dinner parties, so why not meet them for a happy hour drink or a Saturday afternoon margarita? And for your friends who are married with children who you say only want to talk about babies, indulge them every once in a while - let them share their excitement with you! As annoying as it may be, sometimes you just have to put a smile on your face and remember that once the dust settles and the initial excitement dwindles, there'll be much more to talk about besides diapers and preschool.

As life goes on, priorities change, but that's not to say that your friends don't have room for you anymore. While you might feel like the neglected one, keep in mind that your friends could be having similar feelings towards you. Sometimes it's not all about you - you might have to compromise a little, at least for right now. Making new friends is fun, but while doing so, you don't need to write off your old ones. Be open and honest with them and hopefully you'll get back on track sooner than later. Good luck.

Source

Frat Alien On ATHF

GiggleSugar — Tue, 28 Aug 2007 12:46:45 -0700

I've never watched "Aqua Teen Hunger Force" so I can't really tell you the back story to the Frat Alien (voiced by comedian Patton Oswald) or why a giant box of french fries is telling him to wake up and leave. All I can tell you is this is hilarious. Sample dialogue: "Wake 'n bake, dude...Are you holdin'? Did William Holden come to the party? You got Holden Caulfield back there?"

Little Green Men? NASA's Big Discovery and British UFOs!

CitizenSugar — Wed, 14 May 2008 12:15:32 -0700

It's a big day for alien watchers and sci-fi fans (okay, scientists too.) Overnight, Britain declassified a whole spaceship full of files for the first time detailing hundreds of sightings of unexplained objects in the skies over Britain.

Green men with big heads? That's so space-ist! Not quite but according to the investigator at the Ministry of Defense,

"while there's no evidence of little green men in these files, they should be of immense interest to skeptics and believers. Most of the UFO sightings here are probably misidentifications of aircraft lights and meteors, but some are more difficult to explain, they include UFOs seen by police officers and pilots, and cases where UFOs have been tracked on radar."

While the files have scientific and defense significance, this is funny: "The files also note that the number of UFO reports doubled after the release of Steven Spielberg's film Close Encounters of the Third Kind in 1977."

Not to be outdone, NASA had its own big announcement today - they found something they've been searching for 50 years! To find out what it is, read more.

Scientists using NASA's Chandra X-ray Observatory have discovered the Milky Way's most recent supernova, which exploded a mere 140 years ago, a few years after the Civil War.

Wired liveblogged the announcement saying:

10:16: Reynolds continuing: Supernova located approximately 26,000 light years away from here. Shockwave moving 5 percent of the speed of light, the fastest ever observed. This supernova exhibits special kind of X-ray activity, one of only 4 supernovae with these X-rays, which are incredibly high energy, far beyond anything that even the Large Hadron Collider will create.

Why so cool? Well, it's all about us. "Supernovae make the chemical elements through real alchemy. The calcium in our bones and iron in our blood came from supernovae that exploded. So we're all stardust and it seems reasonable to want to know how elements get formed when stars explode," said one of the scientists. "This is a stellar death and the corpse is still warm."

Are we alone out here? Do you get excited about scientific announcements like this? Do these announcements, plus the Vatican saying today (!) that we should believe in aliens mean anything? I'm just saying if it takes three instances to make a trend, aliens are looking pretty out of this world right now!

Source

This Commercial Makes We Want to Go to Mars

GiggleSugar — Tue, 21 Oct 2008 15:00:00 -0700

This ad for Airwaves Gum with Guarana suggests that a cute little alien was enticed to try out earth living after trying a piece. But then after getting a taste of the difficulties of earth life - getting a job, finding meaningful recreational activities, attempting to put together IKEA furniture - the alien hops back on his mother ship in frustration. Take me with you, little man!

Babies: Evil?

GiggleSugar — Wed, 13 Jun 2007 12:30:00 -0700

They're cute. They're cuddly. They're a joyous fact of life, right? Some scientists think otherwise. They've theorized that babies are actually "distractions" placed on this planet to keep all of us occupied, irritated, and vulnerable to alien attack. Could it be true? The Kensington Report investigates.

Japan's New First Lady Has Been Abducted by Aliens

TresSugar — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 10:00:00 -0700

Japan mixed things up this week by electing the opposition party for the first time in 50 years. Along with Prime Minister-elect Yukio Hatoyama, the country will welcome his eccentric wife Miyuki Hatoyama as their first lady. Here are some key facts to help you get to know more about the newest addition to the First Spouses Club.

Miyuki is a lifestyle guru, macrobiotics enthusiast, retired actress, and designer of such garments as a skirt she made from coffee sacks.
She says she was abducted by aliens 20 years ago and traveled to the planet Venus.
Miyuki also says she knew Tom Cruise in a previous life, when he was Japanese. She'd like to make a Hollywood movie with her old friend.
Then-married Miyuki met her husband in San Francisco, when he was studying at Stanford and she was working at a restaurant. Yukio said: "The average man chooses his mate from among unmarried women. I chose mine from among all women."

I don't know about you, but I can't wait to follow Mr. and Mrs. Hatoyama as they make their way on the international stage!

Boo! The Scariest Halloween News - an Alien Endorsement?

CitizenSugar — Thu, 30 Oct 2008 14:30:38 -0700

This is absolutely the most important news we will bring you all day. The paper of record, the Weekly World News has published a hard-hitting October Surprise endorsement: John McCain has picked up the coveted alien vote. Not illegal immigrants, real honest-to-goodness outer-space folks. The vote has been reportedly secured by Cindy McCain reaching across atmospheric lines to forge a diplomatic relationship with the alien. According to the WWN here's how it went down:

At a recent McCain rally, inside sources say Cindy McCain disappeared with the alien after sharing several champagnes with the notorious intergalactic lightweight. Ms. McCain’s alien-like good looks and natural blood temperature of 54°F may have proved too much for him to resist as she reportedly put her cyborg husband into sleep mode and worked her charms.

To see the effect of this turn of events on the election, check out the whole piece.

Back on Earth, Detroit and Oil City, PA, are dealing with Halloween hijinks of their own. To see how, read more.

The Detroit tradition of "Devil's Night," where mischief makers set abandoned buildings on fire is being put out by thousands of citizen volunteers and police officers. The worst Devil's Night, 1984, saw 810 fires set in the city. They expect 50,000 volunteers to watch over the town this year.

In Oil City, PA, there's a cautious return to after-dark Trick or Treating this year following the 1992 murder of an 11-year-old, thanks to a petition drive by a local fifth grader. Her petition combined with an essay has persuaded the City Council to change its mind. The young activist will be out tomorrow night dressed up as a Goth princess bride.

Is anything scarier than that picture of Cindy McCain happening in your neck of the haunted and spooky woods?

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