TresSugar

Where Do You Stand: Being Affectionate With Your Girlfriends

DearSugar — Wed, 28 May 2008 14:00:00 -0700

There's really nothing better than having a best friend - it's that unbreakable bond that makes for such a special relationship. But if you're a cuddly type, is being affectionate with your gal pal crossing the line of friendship?

Lindsay Lohan and her BFF Samantha Ronson might take it to an extreme, but last weekend Michelle Williams was photographed holding hands with her co-stars at the premiere of Adoration in Cannes in an endearing, supportive sort of way - something that I found very sweet. Now I know some people feel uncomfortable with PDA, but where do you stand on being touchy-feely (in a friendly manor) with your girlfriends?

Source & Bauer-Griffin Online

Colbert Won't Tell Us How to Get to Socialist Sesame Street

TresSugar — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 10:00:00 -0800

Last night Stephen Colbert took on Sesame Street, the "most insidious socialist brainwashing program in our nation's history," on its 40th anniversary. When not condemning SS for indoctrinating children with a love of learning and showing adorable clips, he calls out Grover for allowing kids to think marriage is just between two people and the legalization of Bert-and-Ernie marriages.

The Dark Side of Cute

TresSugar — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 15:00:00 -0800

Kittens in casts. Babies nudged to laugh every five seconds. Stuffed teddy bears left at killing-spree sites. We are so surrounded by the tyranny of cute that even multibillion-dollar corporations have cute names like "Google" and "Twitter," and the uncute business of insurance is represented in ads by a cute lizard with an English accent. (And yes, I too am guilty of spreading cuteness.)

What's up with the cute? Writer Jim Windolf has had enough and decided to try to get to the bottom of what he calls the "self-infantalization" of Americans. His conclusion? There's a dark, manipulative side to cute. If you want to know what it is, read more.

In Daniel Harris's book Cute, Quaint, Hungry, and Romantic, he says that there's a hidden sadism to our love of cute, citing the barrage of images of cats falling, puppies slamming into mirrors, and even babies trapped in high chairs being prodded to laugh.

"The process of conveying cuteness to the viewer disempowers its objects," he writes, "forcing them into ridiculous situations and making them appear more ignorant and vulnerable than they really are. Adorable things are often most adorable in the middle of a pratfall or a blunder." In other words, they are cute insofar as they are helpless, and we, conferrers of cute, are all-powerful.

Becoming cute, conversely, is one way of disarming opponents or critics. It's not incidental, argues Windolf, that the cult of cute in the US emerged during the Bush years, when "the American image went from that of protector to invader, from defender of human rights to aggressor on the lookout for loopholes in the Geneva Conventions." Cuteness then, according to this theory, "came about as some sort of correction, as a way for us to convince ourselves and our friends that we're not as bad as our recent national actions have made us seem." (It reminds me of smiley emoticons at the end of passive-aggressive email messages and instant messages. In this case, American cute is like a ginormous cultural smiley face emoticon tacked on the end of dubious actions telling our allies we're not all that bad.)

Windolf traces American cute back to Japan's kawaii culture, which got huge 10 years ago but actually emerged at the end of WWII after it was "humiliated and emasculated." If you're interested in political and cultural psychoanalysis, I suggest reading this long essay. But whatever you do, remember - ~~sometimes a cigar is just a cigar~~ sometimes a cute kitten isn't just a cute kitten.

Source

Ask Two Guys About Guys: Why Isn't He Calling Me?!

TresSugar — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 07:00:00 -0700

Colin Nissan and Sean Farrell of Don't Be That Guy fame have graciously agreed to answer some burning questions we women folk have about men. Last week they told us why some men are so carefree about farting, and this week they head into dating territory.

This week's question: "I dated this guy for about three weeks. One day all the emails, texts, calls, and dates stopped. Why do men come on strong and then vanish?"

To hear what the Two Guys have to say, read more.

I could be wrong, but it sounds like someone showed someone else their vagina a little too soon. It’s certainly not to say that waiting a year before having sex is always advisable. However, depending on who he is and how well you’ve gotten to know each other, sometimes it’s important to form more of a bond before doing the vulva waltz.

Sadly there’s a great deal of truth to the notion the guys lose steam once the chase has ended, so it stands to reason that the more you’ve connected while wearing pants, the more reason he has to be invested in the relationship.

Let him get to know that kooky laugh of yours or that adorable way you scrunch your lips when you’re concentrating on something. God, I love it when you do that. Do some activities that will let him get to know the real you: go to a movie together, have a picnic, maybe swim with some dolphins. Not coincidentally, all things that you don’t need your vagina for, missy.

Play the Who's Huglier Game and Win Big!

TresSugar — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 14:30:56 -0700

A hugly guy has unconventional good looks. He's no movie-star-perfect Brad Pitt or George Clooney. He may even be called "ugly" by the person who doesn't appreciate offbeat hotness, but we find him "ugly hot" and eminently huggable - hence, hugly. In homage to the hugly guy we find adorable, we have a new faceoff game: Who's Huglier?

Hump Day: Where's My G-Spot?

TresSugar — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 10:00:00 -0700

Welcome to Hump Day, TrèsSugar's sex advice column. Are you confused about sex? Do you have trouble having an orgasm? Is there something you'd like to try but you're worried it's too weird? Send your questions to TrèsSugar, and our friend Dr. Charlie Glickman from Good Vibrations will offer his sound advice!

Today's Question:

"I have decent enough sex with my boyfriend, but I don't always have an orgasm. I've heard that if my G-spot is stimulated, not only will I have a better chance of having an orgasm, but that it will be more intense. Is this true? Where is the G-spot?"

To hear Dr. Glickman's answer, read more.

Let’s start with a little anatomy.

The G-spot is a relatively small patch of tissue that you can find by inserting a finger into the vagina and curving towards the belly button (upwards if you’re on your back). Many women report that the G-spot is much easier to find if they’re already turned on because it engorges with blood. In fact, some women and their partners find that the G-spot can go from impossible to find to quite prominent during arousal. So start off with something that definitely works for you and then try adding G-spot explorations.

The G-spot surrounds the urethra and some folks find that stimulating it can feel sort of like needing to go to the bathroom. You may find it helpful to go to the bathroom before starting out so that you’ll know that your bladder is empty. Also, some women have discovered that G-spot play can result in female ejaculation. While scientists disagree about female ejaculation, we do know that it’s not urine and is chemically similar to men’s prostatic fluid. This makes sense, since the G-spot and the prostate are quite similar. If you’re concerned about it, put a towel down first so you can relax and enjoy the ride.

As far as whether G-spot play will rock your world or not, I can’t make any promises. Some women adore it and would never choose to have sex without it. Others find it uncomfortable or say that it just doesn’t do anything for them. As always when it comes to sex, your mileage may vary so don’t get stressed out if it doesn’t do much for you.

OK, so how do you actually do G-spot play? First, it may be easier if your boyfriend is the one wielding the fingers. It can be a bit awkward to try to reach it yourself. Some popular techniques include the “come-here” motion, making circles, tapping, stroking, or the “windshield wiper” movement. It may also be more fun if he’s pleasuring your clitoris at the same time, perhaps with his other hand or his mouth. Or you could use a hand or a vibrator on your clit.

If you want to use a toy for the G-spot, try something with a curve or a prominent head since those shapes makes it easier to hit the spot. Here are a few popular ones. Or you might enjoy one of the ”Rabbit” style vibrators.

For more detailed information about the G-spot, I’m a big fan of the DVD The Expert Guide to the G-Spot as well as the book Female Ejaculation and the G-Spot.

If you’re looking for ways to increase your chances of having an orgasm during intercourse, you might find that some G-spot fun as a warm-up improves your odds. Even if G-spot play doesn’t result in an orgasm for you, if it increases your pleasure and arousal, that will probably make it easier to have an orgasm when doing something else. Or you could have a G-spot orgasm before having intercourse, if that works better for you. You could also see if using a vibrator or your fingers on your clitoris during sex does the trick. After all, 70 percent of women report that they need some clitoral stimulation to have an orgasm, so you’d be in good company.

Do Tell: How Would You Respond to a Guy With Magic Tricks?

TresSugar — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 04:00:00 -0700

I'm going to try not being a mean girl, because I think the following story is all kinds of adorable. But let's just say it's hard not to affectionately tease the guy who runs a class for seducing women - with magic tricks!

27-year-old McDerick Ho co-owns Secret Skills, a magic school in Singapore. The course he teaches? "The Art of Seduction Magic," a two-hour class for $150 during which Ho will teach men ten magic tricks that are supposed to help them break the ice with women they're interested in.

For example, he teaches techniques that allow a man to hug a girl while performing a particular magic trick, all while speaking lines from a script Ho provides that's so top secret he won't even put it on his website.

Although some men are skeptical about magic tricks as aphrodisiac, others say anything that can get a man's confidence up to speak to a woman is a good thing. You hear about rapists spiking women's drinks with roofies or others who are just disrespectful, so it's hard not to see this approach as innocent and adorable - if waaay dorky.

How would you react if a guy came up to you at a bar and asked, "Can I interest you in some magic tricks?

Source

Friday Feel Good: Simon's Cat Continues to Be Needy

TresSugar — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 09:00:00 -0700

In advance of Happy Caturday, I thought I'd post this cute cartoon Fuzzles sent our way. The Simon's cat series depict essentially the same scenario: Simon's cat will not be ignored, and resorts to all manner of devious acts to get attention. Whether it's jumping all over Simon when he tries to sleep, or messing up his papers when he's trying to work, the cat is a punkass. But still adorable.

Ask E. Jean For DearSugar: I Adore My Friend, But So Does Everyone Else!

DearSugar — Thu, 11 Dec 2008 11:00:17 -0800

Dear E. Jean,

I have a friend who's so beautiful that every man who crosses our path wants her. This is not paranoia. It's reality. Even movie stars gawk at her on the street - ugh! More cases in point? My ex casually asked me if she was dating anyone, my current ex joked about a three-way, and a man who's been pursuing me for a year has suddenly shifted his interest to her after he met her at a dinner party.

She's funny, charming, and doesn't dress slutty (we're both casual and conservative). I don't have animosity toward her - I adore her - and I'm sure I'm supposed to learn something from this, but what? I'm not unattractive, but now that I'm newly single, I know that every guy who's interested in me won't be once he meets her. I feel like a walking consolation prize. Why is she so irresistible? And what can I do about it? - The Leftover

To see what E. Jean has to say, read more.

Left, My Lovely: Oh please. If the lady's such a vexation, don't be seen in public with her. As it is, I've probably received two or three letters from your friends complaining that you are the irresistible one.

This is the hard truth about makeovers, Miss Leftover. We're all the pretty one/ugly one depending on 1.) who we’re with and 2.) how chock-full of good old-fashioned confidence we are. You love her, however, so if she's as ravishing on the inside as she is on the outside, well then . . . since she has the power to keep men on the boil, don’t fight it, use it, Miss Left! Let her bring 'em on! When the lads stampede, simply sweep up the shy ones floundering in her wake. And once you've met someone, for godssakes, don't be stupid. Keep the dude away from her.

To see more advice from E. Jean, visit Elle Magazine and AskEJean.com.

Say What? Writer on Actresses Past Their "Expiration Date"

TresSugar — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 11:00:00 -0700

Okay, let’s be honest: Drew Barrymore was never really all that hot. In fact, hot was never the appropriate adjective for her. She was cute as a little kid in E.T. and sometimes adorable in her twenties, and now…well, now she’s just another talking chubby face attached to a chubby body that should know better than to be projected on a giant movie screen.

- Blogger Nathan Bloch from Spike.com in a post entitled The Top 10 Actresses Past Their Expiration Date. Bloch is not all sexism and nastiness, though - he will grant that once upon a time, 20 years ago, Sarah Jessica Parker was "halfway decent."