TresSugar

Say What? Hypnotherapist: Quitting Smoking Like Breaking Up

TresSugar — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 15:00:00 -0700

Look, we had some great times together and a lot of fun, but now I feel we are moving in different directions and I need to end this relationship.

- Natasha Bishop to her cigarette habit of 10 years. She took the advice of a hypnotherapist who says that one way to quit smoking is to have a breakup conversation with your cigarettes. "Until you actually have that conversation," she says, "there's always that little part of you that thinks, maybe we'll get back together. Let's face it. Getting back together with an ex is like throwing milk in the garbage and three days later thinking . . . maybe it'll be better this time around." Have you ever had to quit smoking? Would you consider alternative therapies if cold turkey, the patch, or nicotine gum didn't work?

Marijuana vs. Booze: Between Pot and a Hard Place

TresSugar — Sun, 09 Aug 2009 04:00:34 -0700

When Michael Phelps partied at the University of South Carolina last November, he was reportedly slamming beers and acting obnoxious. But it was smoking marijuana out of a bong that got him suspended from swimming and dropped by sponsors. In the forthcoming book Marijuana Is Safer: So Why Are We Driving People to Drink?, authors Steve Fox, Paul Armentano, and Mason Tvert wonder if our country has it all backwards.

You can read an excerpt from the book, which comes out in September, on Alternet. In it, the authors point out that the Phelps bong photos hit the web on Super Bowl Sunday, as millions of Americans were drinking beers and watching beer commercials on TV - activities that are expected and encouraged.

Marijuana Is Safer looks at the laws governing both substances and attempts to shatter many of the myths associated with marijuana use. When you consider alcoholism and drunk driving, not to mention revenue that legalizing marijuana could bring, do you think our country has it backwards? Which substance do you think is safer?

Have Cafe Novelists Replaced Boozin' Writers?

TresSugar — Fri, 07 Aug 2009 08:30:07 -0700

In the past, the writer's life was often a lush life. Many great American novelists - including Ernest Hemingway and John Cheever - were notorious drunks. In fact, according to an article by Tom Shone in the new issue of More Intelligent Life, five of America's seven Nobel literary laureates were alcoholics:

In America William Faulkner and Scott Fitzgerald were the Paris and Britney of their day, caught in the funhouse mirror of fame, their careers a vivid tabloid mash-up of hospitalizations and electroshock therapies.

Rehab wasn't something people did back in the '30s. Neither was recovery-centric memoir writing. When F. Scott Fitzgerald wrote a story for Esquire chronicling his struggles, Hemingway told him to cast his "balls into the sea-if you have any balls left."

Ever since rehab went mainstream in the 1960s, Shone observes, the boozing writer stereotype is less typical. Both Cheever and Raymond Carver came out of rehab and kept writing; Stephen King got sober after an intervention. So where have all the overindulgent writers gone?

Say What? Paula Abdul Talks Pills

TresSugar — Wed, 06 May 2009 08:30:00 -0700

“I could have killed myself. . . . Withdrawal - it's the worst thing. I was freezing cold, then sweating hot, then chattering and in so much pain, it was excruciating. But at my very core, I did not like existing the way I had been."

- Paula Abdul, in the upcoming issue of Ladies' Home Journal, on overcoming her addiction to painkillers last Thanksgiving.

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How to Spot a High-Functioning Alcoholic

TresSugar — Tue, 05 May 2009 14:00:00 -0700

High-functioning alcoholics are often considered a hidden class of addict, but I've met more than a few of them in my life. So has Sarah Allen Benton, a recovering high-functioning alcoholic who just released a book about the disease: Understanding the High-Functioning Alcoholic.

According to Benton, a so-called HFA is someone who lives a seemingly normal life, often balancing family or romance with a successful career, while also abusing alcohol - and often denying it. In Benton's case:

"Having outside accomplishments led me and others to excuse my drinking and avoid categorizing me as an alcoholic. My success was the mask that disguised the underlying demon and fed my denial."

Do you think you might know a high-functioning alcoholic? Learn the warning signs when you read more.

Many times, the problem comes to light due to an unfortunate incident, like a drunk-driving accident, or the realization that the HFA simply can't control her drinking. But since the alcoholism doesn't fit into our typical understanding of addiction, it can stay hidden for years. Here are some things to look out for.

Excessive social drinking. Overindulging on occasional nights out doesn't automatically make you an HFA; it all depends on how much you consume. "Low-risk" drinking, according to the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA), for females consists of no more than seven drinks per week and three drinks per sitting.
Missed obligations. Shunning work or kid-related obligations could be indicative of a drinking problem.
Loss of control. Social drinkers who can't seem to limit their intake after one drink or who act differently than when they're sober could be HFAs.
Broken rules. Drinkers who set per-drink limits for themselves but fail to adhere to them could be battling alcoholism.
Alcohol obsession. People who seem to obsess about drinking could be HFAs. If one drink sets off a serious craving, that's a bad sign.

For more, check out Benton's blog or the resources page of the NIAAA. Do you know or have you ever known a high-functioning alcoholic? Share your stories in the comments (sign out to comment anonymously!).

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Do Tell: Has an Addiction Ever Ruined Your Relationship?

DearSugar — Tue, 17 Feb 2009 09:00:00 -0800

Being an addict has the ability to completely consume every aspect of your life, which can make it difficult to have a successful relationship. And since addictions come in all sorts of shapes and sizes, I wouldn't be surprised if an addiction to work, gambling, drinking, drugs, gaming, or shopping, just to name a few, has affected one your relationships. So ladies, tell me, has addiction ever played a role in any of your relationships?

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Group Therapy: Is My Boyfriend a Sex Addict?

Sat, 29 Nov 2008 10:00:00 -0800

I have been with my boyfriend for a little over a year, and we live together. I always knew he was flirtatious but never really thought anything of it. The last couple of months, though, things have been a bit weird - we've been fighting a lot and I felt like he was being secretive and hiding things from me. When I started to snoop, I found out that he had been emailing and messaging all sorts of different girls, sexually and completely inappropriately, on MySpace, Facebook, AIM, etc. I confronted him and he gave me a list of excuses: that he doesn't find me mentally stimulating so he goes outside of the relationship (online) for a quick fix, that he feels like our connection isn't there as much as it used to be, and that he thinks he has an online sex addiction.
His addiction claim sort of makes sense to me because he seems overly sex-crazed when it comes to looking at women online, but what makes me doubt it is that he only seeks out these women when we are in a fight! If it was truly a sex addiction, wouldn't he be doing it 24/7? If in fact it is a sex addiction, do I stay with him and try to work on this together or should I just leave the whole situation now before things get worse? I love him with all my heart but I don't know what to do. Please help!

[EDITOR'S NOTE: To be involved in more GROUP THERAPY, click here]

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Sunday Confessional: I've Been a Selfish Sister

DearSugar — Sun, 12 Oct 2008 09:00:00 -0700

I'm 28 and the youngest of three children. My siblings and I had a challenging childhood; our dad disappeared from our lives when we were little, and our mother suffered from severe depression. My sister, the eldest, took on the responsibilities of taking care of my brother and me, even though she was only a few years older than us. As early as middle school I started to rebel, and I ended up getting into drugs and a series of abusive relationships later on.

In the process I also managed to completely alienate my sister. She was always there to help me, and I was always pushing her away. Some years ago, I did the unthinkable and hooked up with her boyfriend at the time - a man she was very in love with. She was destroyed, but she said that she knew it wasn't me. She told me she'd let it go if I checked into rehab, which she offered to pay for. After much begging, I agreed to go. But within a few weeks I left, and ended up costing my sister thousands of dollars. By that point she'd finally hit her limit, and told me she wanted me out of her life.

It's been five years and we haven't spoken, though I'm still in touch with my brother. I've cleaned up my life significantly, and I have a stable job for the first time in my life. My sister recently had her first baby, and I'm desperate to see them. But when I told my brother I was going to reach out to her, he told me not to because he doesn't think she'll be willing to see me. I know I've done some bad things, and I know I'm still imperfect, but don't you think my own sister should be able to forgive me?

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Where's the Line Between Sex Addiction and Cheating?

DearSugar — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 10:00:00 -0700

In somewhat startling news, David Duchovny, who has two children with his wife, actress Tea Leoni, checked into rehab for sex addiction today. Though we often hear about stars heading to rehab for substance abuse, sex addiction enters a whole new territory of implications.

Some might say that admitting you need help for sex addiction is akin to saying you've been unfaithful. Although I'm glad to hear that Duchovny is seeking treatment, I wonder where the line between cheating and sex addiction is drawn. Reports imply that Leoni is supporting her husband through this ordeal, and I certainly respect both husband and wife for taking the means necessary to fix the issues in their marriage. But if it were me, I'm not sure I could be so understanding. If your significant other cheated but it was was a result of a sex addiction, would you be more likely to forgive him? Or in your opinion, is cheating cheating no matter the explanation?

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Intervention Has Never Been So Fun

GiggleSugar — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 13:06:20 -0700

I'm having a hard time breaking my addition to A&E's Intervention. (Though I guess it could be worse.) Perhaps a song is in order?

See more Kristin Chenoweth videos at Funny or Die