TresSugar

Wedding Planning Week in Review

DearSugar — Sun, 27 Apr 2008 04:00:00 -0700

If you missed any of wedding planning week here on Dear, check out my recap below!

Learn proper wedding reception etiquette, like how to arrange your seating chart and the best way to incorporate speeches and toasts.
Looking back, is there anything you would have done differently at your wedding?
Know of any wedding disaster stories? Share them with other Dear readers!
Need some help tackling that hefty guest list? Make it easy with Dear's handy tips.
When it comes to inviting kids to the big day, where do you stand?
Weddings are expensive even if it is not yours, so who do you think should have to pay for the bridesmaid expenses?
Stay on top of your wedding planning and check out part two of our wedding timeline.
Would you ever write your own vows?
His mom just won't butt out of the wedding planning! How would you handle this?
I've got everything you need to know to plan your rehearsal dinner without the fuss!

To see all of our wedding coverage, check out IDoSugar.com.

Dear Poll: Would You Write Your Own Vows?

DearSugar — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 16:00:00 -0700

It’s getting more and more commonplace for people to opt out of the traditional wedding and come up with something completely their own. Some of the more obvious changes are location, colors, and the use of themes but there are also subtle differences that can make a wedding seem more special, such as writing your own vows. I'm more traditional, but I think the idea of writing your own vows is a really nice way to share your love for one another and make your wedding day unique. So ladies, would you consider writing your own vows?

To see all of our wedding coverage, check out IDoSugar.com.

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The How-To Lounge: Reception Speech and Toast Etiquette

DearSugar — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 08:00:00 -0700

While the toasts at a rehearsal dinner are casual, the wedding reception usually has its own set of more formal speeches. Having planned speeches at your wedding is in no way mandatory, but if you don’t account for them, they’re likely to happen anyway, so before the big day, it’s best to sit down for a few minutes to plan them out. To check out my tips on reception speech etiquette, read more

It’s a good idea to check in with your parents, maid of honor, and best man to see who would like to make a toast versus those who’d rather not. Usually at least one parent from either side will give a thank you toast to the guests and some words for the future. However, often parents like to propose a toast together, so talk with them to decide what works for your wedding.
Once you know who’ll be speaking, decide the lineup. Usually the best man will begin the process and the bride and groom will end it, but the order is truly discretionary.
The bride and groom should set aside an appropriate time for speeches - typically they take place just after everyone has been seated for dinner and all of the drinks have been poured, but it’s fairly common to have them after the cake has been cut as well.
It’s important that everyone speaking takes some time before the big day to prepare. This doesn’t need to be typed out and printed, but it’s smart to at least have an idea of what you're going to say.
Perhaps most important is to keep it short! I’d recommend no more than three to five minutes per person. Obviously, if you’re only having a toast or two, they can be longer, but watch out because speeches really can add up. Guests will get antsy if they go on too long, and really, who wants to waste the reception toasting when you could be dancing?
For the family and attendants: Don’t try too hard to make it extra funny, cute, or sentimental. You really don’t need a shtick to make a good toast. While it’s typical to include a small anecdote, make sure your stories don't get too personal. It’s best to keep things general so all the guests can appreciate what you’re saying.
For the bride and groom: Make sure to thank your guests for coming and being part of your important day. And don't forget to take a few seconds to acknowledge the people who put in the most time and effort.

While many people end up winging their speeches and toasts, I don’t recommend it. Just a touch of foresight can still leave room for some spontaneous words without the worry!

To see all of our wedding coverage, check out IDoSugar.com.

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Dear Poll: Who Should Pay For Bridesmaid Expenses?

DearSugar — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 14:00:00 -0700

I think we can all agree that the worst part of being in a wedding is the expense. Though traditionally wedding attendants pay for their own attire and travel expenses, that particular rule has never made much sense to me. Obviously in some cases, especially when it’s a large wedding party, expecting the bride and groom to pay seems unrealistic, but I just don’t know how I feel about this one. Proper etiquette aside, who do you think should pay for the bridesmaid expenses?

To see all of our wedding coverage, check out IDoSugar.com.

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Handle This: His Mom Won't Butt Out of the Wedding

DearSugar — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 07:00:00 -0700

You get along great with your fiancé’s mom, or you did until the wedding planning got into full swing. At first, her help was great but now you feel like you’re planning her wedding. Her intentions are always good, but she’s very controlling and pretty much demands that she gets what she wants.

On a recent dress shopping trip, she tells you that she doesn’t like the one you absolutely love. His parents are helping out with a lot of the expenses, and you don’t want to offend his mom, but you’ve hit your limit; you love this wedding dress! How do you handle this?

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The How-To Lounge: Rehearsal Dinner Etiquette

DearSugar — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 08:00:00 -0700

Though often overlooked, the rehearsal dinner is an important part of the wedding-planning process. Not only is it an opportunity to enjoy some much-needed fun, but it’s also a way for the bride and groom to give thanks to the people who’ve put energy, time, and money into their wedding. To check out some advice on making your rehearsal dinner just right for you, read more.

Traditionally, the rehearsal dinner takes place just after the rehearsal ceremony the night before your wedding day and is planned and paid for by the groom’s parents. However, many couples end up throwing the dinner themselves or splitting the cost with both sides of parents.
Typically the bride and groom invite their immediate family as well as the wedding party, but it’s not strange to also invite out-of-town guests or other close friends that you want to enjoy time with the night before the big day.
As with the other wedding events, invitations are customary, though if you’re keeping it very intimate, a phone call or email is equally appropriate.
In celebration of their help, this is the time to pass out presents to the wedding party and any other people that may have played a large role in the planning process.
The rehearsal dinner is often an opportunity for the bride and groom to offer thanks to their family for their support - this is usually done through a short toast by the couple - so take a little time beforehand to decide what you’ll say. Keep in mind that parents and friends will also use this occasion to offer some of their own words as well. Think of this as the time to get goofy, personal, or sappy with your wedding speeches, so save the formality for the reception!
The most important part of the rehearsal dinner is to enjoy time with family before the wedding, so don’t be afraid to go casual if that’s what you need! More and more couples are opting out of fancy restaurants in favor of more down-home affairs, like BBQs in the backyard or family-style dinners at a favorite old-fashioned diner.

Don’t forget that you’ll be getting up early the next morning, so save your energy and make it an early night - you can do the big celebrating at the reception so easy on the champagne!

To see all of our wedding coverage, check out IDoSugar.com.

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The How-To Lounge: Wedding Timeline, Part II

DearSugar — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 10:00:00 -0700

Weddings are notoriously stressful, but all it takes is a little organization to make them much more manageable and a wedding timeline can make all the difference in the world! To check out part two in our wedding time line series read more.

Nine months in advance

Not only do you want to start compiling your guest list, but you also want to start gathering up addresses. This can take a lot more time than it may seem. Often parents have an entirely different set of people that they want included, so compromise may be necessary at this time.
Choose your color spectrum, and decide which color you want your wedding party to be wearing.
If you're going the classic honeymoon route, then start planning now. You'll get the best deals by planning ahead.
Get your gift registry started. There is also the option of having money given to a honeymoon plan as well as going the donation route, so explore every possibility. There will be parties galore in the upcoming month, so plan in advance for your gift-getting bonanza.

Stay tuned in the next few weeks for part three of our Wedding Timeline, and if you missed it, be sure to check out part one.

To see all of our wedding coverage, check out IDoSugar.com.

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The How-To Lounge: Creating Your Wedding Guest List

DearSugar — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 10:00:00 -0700

When it comes to the perfect wedding day, it’s all about being happy and having fun, so it’s incredibly important to make sure that the special people in your lives are there to celebrate with you and your fiancé. Although writing up a guest list might sound like an easy task, things can get pretty tricky when you incorporate factors like budget, venue, space, and your parents' preferences. However, there certainly are a few tips you can follow to avoid the headache - or at least some of it! To check them out, read more

First and foremost, be very clear on how many people you want to invite, factoring in the budget and the venue.
Talk to your fiancé, and decide who you won’t be inviting - exes, children, dates for each guest, etc…
Keep in mind that it is customary for both sets of your parents to partake in the creation of the guest list - this is a special day for them too! If they’re contributing financially, you’ll want to make sure they’re given a number of guests they can invite as well.
On the first sit down, let everyone put in the name of people who they would like to come, then start to whittle down the list. Sometimes this can take quite a few weeks so refer to your wedding timeline so you can leave yourselves plenty of time.
While you’ll surely be talking about your wedding at work, it’s not mandatory that you invite the entire office. You can either choose to not include any of them or just ask your closest work friends. But like we learned back in grade school, if you invite everyone but one person, there will be hurt feelings so do use some tact.
Don’t feel like you have to invite every person whose wedding you’ve been to, but if your wedding is in the same wedding season, it's expected that you'll return the invite. If your wedding is on the small side, it’s much easier to avoid inviting someone whose wedding you enjoyed recently, but if you’re having a big wedding, I recommend at least trying to fit her in.

Avoid inviting anyone verbally prior to finalizing your guest list. You never know what can happen, and you don’t want any disappointed or hurt friends.

To see all of our wedding coverage, check out IDoSugar.com.

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Do Tell: What's the Worst Wedding Planning Disaster You've Ever Heard?

DearSugar — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 07:00:00 -0700

Once the save the date cards are out, it's time to plan, plan, plan! As we all know, it takes a small army to plan a big wedding, as well as patience and staying power. But with so many cooks in the kitchen, it's just a matter of time before something goes awry. Even if you're one of the lucky ones who has a wedding planner to help with the details, mistakes can still happen and important details can slip through the cracks. So ladies, what's the worst wedding planning disaster story you've ever heard? Perhaps the invitations were printed for the wrong date or the officiate never showed - whatever your story is, do tell, because we'd love to hear it!

To see all of our wedding coverage, check out IDoSugar.com.

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Where Do You Stand: Kid-Free Weddings

DearSugar — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 07:00:00 -0700

Earlier this week, Broke Bride Brooke was put in an awkward situation when one of her guests asked if she could bring her parents to Brooke's small wedding to care for the guest's 2-year-old child. This created quite a dilemma because the bride really can't afford to have them there, which is why I (semi-jokingly) thought TidalWave's suggestion of making it a kid-free wedding was a pretty good one! Now I've never received an "adult only" wedding invitation, and while part of me thinks it makes sense, another part of me thinks it's pretty tacky. I agree that there's a time and a place for kids to be present, but what about those who can't afford a sitter, or new mothers who are still breastfeeding? I think kids bring a fun element to any occasion, but where do you stand on kid-free weddings?

To see all of our wedding coverage, check out IDoSugar.com.

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