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Engagement Week in Review

DearSugar — Sat, 05 Apr 2008 06:00:00 -0700

Just in case you missed the start of wedding season, check out my engagement week recap below!

Do you have the perfect engagement story?
Need help planning your wedding? Check out part one in our wedding timeline series.
Weddings are all about etiquette, so find out the dos and don'ts of sending your save the dates!
When it comes to the ring, do you want to be surprised?
Check out these tips on how to choose your wedding party.
When is it too soon to get married?
Get answers to the toughest wedding questions, like where you should get married and whether or not you have to bring a gift to every party.
We want to know: How long do you think an engagement should be?
Need to get out of bridesmaid duties? Find out how to say no the nice way.
Do you know of a proposal gone wrong? Share it with other DearSugar readers!
You have to choose: the spontaneous or planned proposal ?

To see all of our wedding coverage, check out IDoSugar.com.

Dear Poll: What's Your Ideal Engagement Length?

DearSugar — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 13:00:00 -0700

When it comes to weddings and wedding planning, there just seem to be so many rules and opinions on the proper etiquette of things. While a year may be the typical time the professionals say an engagement should last, not all couples follow that guideline. Some people are engaged for years before tying the knot and then there are those shotgun weddings that need no grace period at all! So in your opinion, what's the right amount of time for an engagement?

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The How-To Lounge: Saying No to Her Bridesmaid Request

DearSugar — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 10:00:00 -0700

It’s certainly a bit awkward and requires some major tact, but you actually can say no to a friend’s request for you to be her bridesmaid. In fact, if you really don’t feel like you’ll be a positive participant either because of time constraints or personal demands, declining her request might just be the best thing you can do. Though coming right out with “no thanks” may not be the best strategy, there are ways of refusing gracefully. To check out my tips, read more

Don’t leave the bride hanging. If you’re not going to do it, let her know as soon as possible. If you put it off, you'll just feel unnecessarily guilty, and not allotting her enough time to find a replacement could lead to a bigger headache then just being direct.
Regardless of what some bridezillas might say, financial concern is a legitimate reason for turning down the bridesmaid request. Making your friend’s wedding a special day is incredibly important but not at the expense of your own livelihood. Let her know that, budgetwise, you just don’t have the room for this kind of expenditure.
The same rule applies if you’re overwhelmingly busy. Sometimes there are just not enough days in the month, and overbooking yourself will only lead to disaster.
A great way to smooth over your refusal is by offering to take a different role in the wedding. You can offer to be in charge of the guestbook or manage her thank you notes for the bridal shower and bachelorette party.
Above all else, be as respectful as possible. Go out of your way to acknowledge the importance of her day and your desire to be a part of it.

In most cases, even if your friend is disappointed, she’ll understand. And if she doesn’t at first, give her some time. Often the stress of planning a wedding can make emotions run high, so you might find her far more understanding once the vows have been spoken.

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This or That: The Planned or Spontaneous Proposal?

DearSugar — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 09:00:00 -0700

Ever since you met your boyfriend, you’ve had quite a few fantasies about your potential future proposal. And although some of your daydreams have been over the top, you consider yourself a down-to-earth girl who would be happy with any kind of proposal. Except, now that the moment’s arrived, you realize you would have liked things to happen a little differently. Would it be worse if . . .

This: He really went all out in terms of planning, except it's on the big screen at a sporting event - his favorite of course - that you happen to hate? You’re not sure if he was thinking more about you or his beloved team.

Or . . .

That: He goes the spontaneous route when, after an amazing bedroom session, he throws off the covers and gets down on one knee totally nude and pops the question? Ok, you know he loves you, but is this just lust talking?

Which is worse?

To see all of our wedding coverage, check out IDoSugar.com.

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The How-To Lounge: Choosing Your Wedding Party

DearSugar — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 08:00:00 -0700

There’s something really special about having your closest friends and family members stand by your side as you take your wedding vows, but oftentimes the task of picking who can be downright draining. To get some quick tips on making this particular wedding task less stressful, read more.

Sit down with your fiancé and decide how many each of you would like to have in your party - consider the practicals like standing room and whether or not you intend to compensate their wedding outfits. Keep in mind that it’s very common to have a mismatched number of bridesmaids and groomsmen, but if you want things to be symmetrical, decide now.
It may sound cheesy, but you truly are supposed to be choosing the people you want nearest to you while you take this next step, so choose people you really care about. Don’t feel obligated to ask someone just because they asked you or because your parents are pressuring you.
When it comes to choosing the lucky few, think about your expectations for your bridal party, and if the people you have in mind are up to the challenge. For example, if one of your closest friends lives across the country, she won’t be able to do as much as one of your friends who lives in the same city. Also, if your best friend is completely unorganized and unfocused, it might be best to ask your sister to help with the maid of honor duties instead.
Since you're asking the people in your life who are nearest to your heart, it’s likely that they’ll be thrilled at the occasion, but don’t make that your assumption. You’re asking them to do this as a favor to you, not them, so don’t be upset if they say no. Keep in mind that people have busy lives - some might not have the time or money to participate. Give your friends the out, so when they say yes you’ll know that they are 100 percent committed.

Remember, if you’re worried about leaving someone out or hurting feelings, there are plenty of other ways they can be involved in your wedding - you can even note them in the program or on your engagement website.

To see all of our wedding coverage, check out IDoSugar.com.

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Do Tell: Would You Rather Be Surprised?

DearSugar — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 07:00:00 -0700

Getting engaged is one of the most exciting times in a woman's life, but as you know, not all engagements have a happy ending. Since the engagement ring is the symbol of a couple's commitment. it's important for the woman to be happy with what she's given. But how is the man supposed to know unless he asks her what she wants? Well if he does that, the cat's out of the bag, so what's a guy to do? While I wouldn't want to be unpleasantly surprised (remember Carrie and Aidan?), I also wouldn't want to know what to expect. This is a very personal choice so ladies, do tell, would you rather pick out your ring with your boyfriend or be completely surprised?

To see all of our wedding coverage, check out IDoSugar.com.

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You Asked: Do I Have to Buy a Gift For Every Party?

DearSugar — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 06:00:00 -0700

Dear Sugar,

I'm a bridesmaid this Summer in the wedding of one of my closest friends. She comes from a a very traditional Southern family, and she is having a ton of parties to celebrate her upcoming nuptials. Since I'm in her wedding party, I'm invited to all of them. I'd love to attend them all if I can, but buying a gift for all these parties is really going to break my bank. Is it tacky as a bridesmaid not to bring a present to every occasion? - Broke Brook

To see DearSugar's answer read more

Dear Broke Brook,

I've said it once and I'll say it again - being in a wedding is expensive, and there are no right or wrong answers when it comes to bridesmaid etiquette. When a bride asks you to be a part of her special day, she's asking you to do her a big favor, so my advice to you is to attend what you can, but try not to feel obligated to make an appearance at every party, let alone bring a gift to each one. When you factor in travel costs, dress costs, hair and makeup costs, and buying engagement party and shower gifts, it's no wonder being a bridesmaid can make your bank account feel depleted.

If you do decide to attend every event and you don't want to come empty-handed, buy something less expensive off the couple's registry, such as kitchen towels, a cookbook, or that great wooden spoon they've had their eyes on. If you don't mind coming empty-handed, I'm pretty certain your bride will just be honored to have you there. Now if this specific wedding is one of many this Spring, try to make it to at least one of her events. Since you're a part of her wedding day, chances are you're one of her closest friends so hopefully she'll be understanding about your time and budget constraints.

To see all of our wedding coverage, check out IDoSugar.com.

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The How-To Lounge: Save the Date Etiquette

DearSugar — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 11:00:00 -0700

Now that you're engaged, it's time to spread the word! Since wedding venues book up so quickly during wedding season, it's time to get planning. First things first - pick your date and secure your location. Once that's checked off your list, you'll need to alert your friends and family of your special day by sending a save the date. There's no right or wrong way to send a save the date, but there are some key points to remember.

Click here to read more.

Before you send the save the date, hammer out your guest list. There's no turning back after someone has been invited, so be certain that you won't be making any adjustments to your list.
Regardless of the size of your wedding, save the dates should be sent out 6-12 months prior to your wedding day. If you're having a destination wedding, the sooner you send them out the better.
Save the dates are meant to be much less formal than the wedding invitations, but they should be informative. Include your names, the date, time, and location. Some feel the save the date should match the wedding invitation, but that is completely discretionary so if you want to have fun with it, go for it!
If you're having a destination wedding, the save the dates should be much more revealing. Include hotel and airline information including phone numbers and any special rates or packages if applicable, rental car companies, a schedule of events (so guests know how long to book their travel), and the location of your wedding site.
If your guests are invited with a date, be sure to address the envelope properly so they can save the date, too.

To see all of our wedding coverage, check out IDoSugar.com.

The How-To Lounge: Wedding Timeline, Part I

DearSugar — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 10:00:00 -0700

Whether you're going casual and quaint or all-out traditional, planning a wedding takes a lot of work and even more organization. Following a wedding timeline will keep you both sane and organized. Obviously the first step in wedding planning is choosing the right day. Once you've got that narrowed down - keeping in mind the time of year and any other events or holidays that may interfere - it's go time! To see some important points to consider in phase one of your wedding planning, read more

One year in advance

Create a wedding folder or binder to store the details of your event, including any inspirational ideas. Staying organized will be the best thing you can do for yourself during this process.
When it comes to planning the big event, the first thing you'll want to determine is the style you're hoping for. Formal or casual? Whimsical or modern? Many of the decisions you'll make will have you referring back to the thematics.
Plan your budget. Consider absolutely everything, and don't forget to leave room for the unexpected.
Select a venue that works with both your budget and style. Don't choose the first one you see - shop around!
Research and begin the selection of your wedding professionals: caterer, photographer, florist, etc.
It's also time to start wedding gown shopping. You want to get the perfect one so leave yourself a little time to be indecisive. Also, keep in mind that it can take anywhere from five to eight months to have a wedding dress made, not to mention the time it takes for any adjustments.
Pick your wedding party and make sure that the lucky few are willing and able to participate.

Stay tuned in the next few weeks for part two of our Wedding Timeline.

To see all of our wedding coverage, check out IDoSugar.com.

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Do Tell: What's Your Favorite Engagement Story?

DearSugar — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 09:00:00 -0700

I've had a handful of friends get engaged this year, and their engagement stories keep getting more and more romantic. As we all know, this is the man's time to really wow his bride and sweep her off her feet before she says yes. Getting down on bended knee must be incredibly nerve-wracking, so I feel the guys deserve extra props when they plan a special proposal to boot. I think engagement stories tell a lot about a couple - some are over the top and extravagant, while others are low key and very unique to their relationship. So ladies, do tell, what's your favorite proposal story?

To see all of our wedding coverage, check out IDoSugar.com.

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