relationships

We're happy to present this excerpt from one of our favorite sites, YourTango. Skip the usual dinner date and try these fun ideas fit for a foursome.

Sure, you look forward to date night with your significant other, but why not tag along with another couple? Double dates mean double the excitement, fun, and romance. (As long as it's not another dinner party. That's so . . . well . . . bleh.)

Here are some date ideas fit for a foursome:

Treasure Hunt at a Flea Market
Especially in the Summer when the weather is warm, flea markets are a great way to spend a lazy Sunday afternoon. Split $50 evenly between the four of you. The challenge? Scavenge through boxes and bags for hidden vintage treasures. See which couple can come up with the kookiest, wackiest find.

Tag Team on Game Night
Game night was made for double-dating couples! Invite another couple over for a laid-back hang out of playing board games, charades, or if you're feeling a little risqué, strip poker. To break the ice, start out with a game of 20 Questions — whether you've been together for 20 years or two months, there's always something new to learn about each other. Tag team with your SO on a multiplayer video game like Wii Olympics or Super Mario Brothers — they're fun and totally free.

Go Miniature Golfing
Even if you aren't pros, you can still tee off at the golf course (the mini golf course, that is). Sure, it's a tad cheesy (anyone having high school flashbacks?), but that's the fun of it! To make it feel more grown-up, make the losing couple buy a round of drinks.

For five more foursome date spots, head to YourTango: Eight Double Date Ideas.

Check out these other great stories from YourTango:

• What Are the Biggest Challenges of Remarriage?
• Six Ways Sex Makes You More Attractive
• What He Worries About Before His First Date With You

And you thought your dating life was complicated. Eleven years, 25 seasons, and two spinoffs later, ABC's reality TV dating show The Bachelor may not have the best track record when it comes to finding everlasting love for each season's winners, but there have been a surprising number of hookups and marriages among the growing group of alumni.

The Bachelor just finished up its 17th season with Sean Lowe proposing to Catherine Giudici, and the engaged twosome is planning a televised big day. The only other couple that's still together (from the same season) is Jason Mesnick and his runner-up Molly Malaney, who married in 2010 and welcomed their first child in March. The Bachelorette has had a better track record with two successes out of eight seasons. The very first star of the spinoff, Trista Rehn, married her pick Ryan Sutter on national TV in 2003, and they have two children together. And then Ashley Hebert married her season's winner J.P. Rosenbaum (also on TV) in 2012. Even the Bachelor Pad has resulted in some love connections. After meeting on the spinoff, Blake Julian and Holly Durst announced their engagement during the finale and married last year.

Some of the more random pairs include Andrew Baldwin's ex-contestant Peyton Wright marrying Ali Fedotowsky's ex-contestant Chris Lambton in 2012. The duo even has a show together on HGTV. And recently we've been surprised by the matchup of two-time Bachelor star Brad Womack dating Sean Lowe's second runner-up AshLee Frazier. For even more unlikely matches, click on the helpful chart we created above!

A week from today Desiree Hartsock meets her eligible bachelors in the season nine premiere of The Bachelorette — and if she doesn't find her future husband from those 25 guys, no worries, she can always go back to the show's pool of exes.

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our community. Add your advice in the comments!

Hello. So a little background on us: we are both 27, have been dating for a little over two years, and have been friends for nine. We have a great relationship, and I really think he is the one. 

The problem? He does not want to get engaged. Anytime soon. Unlike him, I want to start moving forward with my life. I don't want to get engaged, get married a month later, and start to have kids a month after that. I want a nice long engagement, a few years of married life, and then to start thinking about kids.

I tried to explain to him that women have a clock, and he doesn't seem to understand. I don't want to be having babies when I'm almost 40. He said he's "just not ready" to get engaged. I understand — I am not ready right this moment either, but I think that we should put some type of time frame on the table. He said he will not do that. That it needs to happen "organically" whatever the f*ck that means. He said also that some of his friends didn't get married until they were 30ish, so he's "doing OK." I really don't care what anyone else is doing, to be completely honest, especially 'cause I don't really consider those friends any type of role models for anything. 

I am very upset. He told me the usual things — he loved me, he wants to be with me, he thinks I'll be an excellent wife and mother, blah, blah, blah, but won't give me any type of time frame for anything. It's driving me crazy. I am totally invested in this relationship, but I need to know that it's going to happen. He won't even look at engagement rings and freaks out if I even mention anything. I asked what his mother said, and she said he should "take his time." To be honest, I don't believe that for five minutes because I know she's ready to be a grandma when we are ready. 

Anyways, I was thinking of distancing myself from him. I don't know if this will get him to see what he is missing or what, but I am getting anxious and don't want to keep waiting around. If he likes it, he should put a ring on it, right? Two years seems like enough time — we are not teenagers. I think that he takes me and our relationship for granted sometimes. Not like he cheats on me or anything, but just that he doesn't have to make that commitment to me, and I will still be around. I think this is very selfish of him to not respect me and talk about the future and such, so I am thinking that I may just take some time for myself to be selfish and do whatever I want and not worry about what he's doing. I'm not asking for a magical spell that I can cast on him to propose — I'm just asking for some advice on what to do so that I can keep my sanity in this relationship, or if I should just end it, move on, and find someone that wants the same thing as me. Thanks. 

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it anonymously in Group Therapy for advice.

We're happy to present this post from our partner site Yahoo! Shine:

According to an American Express survey of 1,518 people, guests will spend an average of $539 per wedding this year — and that's just to attend the event, not to be a member of the wedding party. The wallet-busting figure is up $200 from 2012, when guests reported shelling out an average of $329 on clothes, hotel rooms, and gifts.

The real cost is probably even higher given the estimates for some of the costs. The credit card company says that guests will budget just $57 for new clothes, $27 for a babysitter or pet sitter, and $95 for a hotel room—all of which seems astoundingly low, even for a local event. Members of the bridal party can count on spending a little bit more, thanks to slightly higher clothing costs: about $577 per wedding, according to American Express.

Attending a wedding soon? Learn a few money-saving tips after the jump.

Talking about your ex with a new guy may feel like the ultimate don't, but sharing some insights into your past relationships might actually be a good thing. And although you definitely don't want to hear all the nitty-gritty details of each other's past relationships, learning about those connections — and fallouts — could bring you closer together. Before you agree on a no-ex-talk ultimatum, take a look at these surprising benefits of opening up.

• You can better understand each other's relationship habits. Regularly find yourself annoyed whenever he gets jealous, defensive, or overly protective? If you learn some of the pitfalls of each other's past relationships, it'll help you both understand where the other's coming from, and as silly as it sounds, you can find comfort in the fact that it's not you — it's the exes.
• You open the doors to other kinds of communication. Honest, open dialogue in one area of your relationship could trigger a domino effect, leading to more candid conversations altogether. Once you've relayed the ins and outs of your previous heartbreaks, you'll have broken down a barrier in your relationship. From there, you may feel more comfortable talking about sex, insecurities, or other topics that made you nervous in the past.
• You learn where each other's insecurities lie. Knowing what didn't work for each other in the past can help you avoid those hot-button topics or issues. If, for instance, he ended things with his ex because she became too dependent, you can make a genuine effort to build up your own independent lifestyle.

The bottom line: Opening up about your past relationships doesn't have to mean opening up a can of worms. If you stick to an honest, considerate line of communication, ex talk can actually bring you closer together.

We're happy to present this excerpt from one of our favorite sites, The Good Men Project. Sexually frustrated men often claim that women hold the sex card. Life coach Steve Horsmon disagrees.

Since before we were born, we men have been aware of our emerging sexuality. Sonograms have proven that we become "in touch" with our pleasure points right from the start.

If you are like most men, and like me, a large part of your life has been spent thinking, wondering, and worrying about how those pleasure points will be satisfied. You likely imagined that the solution was ultimately in the control of others — specifically, women.

How "Friends With Benefits" Can Backfire on Men

The sexual epiphany I am talking about is the point in a man's life when thinking, wondering, and worrying changes into leading, romancing and enjoying. This epiphany does not just happen with age. It must be earned. It is simple but not easy. If it were easy, every guy would be doing it and would be happy with his sex life.

Your transition from horny to happy is based in your transition from expecting things from your wife to expecting things from yourself. This personal transformation is part of the journey which is full of surprises.

This change brings the brand new benefit of having more self-confidence, more self-respect, and more control over your emotions.

When you discover these feelings and learn how to consistently expect them of yourself, something else changes. I hear this from frustrated wives all the time.

Your sex appeal shoots through the roof! You achieve the status of "sexy man." Your wife sees you in a new attractive light which is the only light that allows her to see you this way. In fact, many other women notice as well — wherever you are. You morph into that man other guys envy and women adore. And until now, you had no idea that it had everything to do with how you think about yourself.

Read the rest of the story: A Married Man's Sexual Epiphany

• I'm In Love With My Friend . . . But She Has a Boyfriend
• Marriage Is Not About You
• Are Some Men Intimidated by Strong Women?
• Making Love All Day Long

If a friend or co-worker is into you and you don't feel the same, it can be more than a little awkward to let him down. Whether he's a lifelong pal, an acquaintance you'll be seeing around, or a guy who works just a few cubicles away, that common ground can make turning him down feel impossible. Still, that's no reason to pretend you're into him just because it's easier. Instead, follow these tips to say no under even the trickiest of circumstances:

• Evaluate the relationship. Before you reject any date offers, take the time to step back and consider your approach. If you're feeling 50/50 on whether or not you're interested, think about what you'd gain or lose by giving him a shot. Is it worth going on a date to see if sparks fly? Would he feel better if you at least gave it a chance? Or is he the type who'd rather not go through the motions if you know you're not into it?
• Don't dillydally. It's never polite to wait days before responding, but it's especially rude when you've been asked out by someone you already know. No matter what kind of news you'll be passing along, be respectful and make a point to reply the same day.
• Pick the right medium to communicate. If it's a friend who's casually texted to ask you out, it's perfectly fine to text him your response. Dealing with a co-worker? Don't IM him from 20 feet away. Instead, muster the courage to say something face-to-face — he'll appreciate that you were up front with him, and you'll avoid the awkwardness of seeing him just after you've messaged him with a refusal.
• Set the postrejection tone. Chances are, he's going to feel a bit blue after you've turned him down, so it's on you to establish a normal, easygoing vibe. Smile and make small talk, but don't go overboard and shower him with attention, because that'll only rub salt in the wound. People tend to mimic the way they're treated, so do your best to treat him like a friendly acquaintance and hopefully, eventually, he'll be able to rise to the occasion himself.