relationships

Being a wedding guest doesn't guarantee you'll have suitors falling over you left and right, but there's a reason wedding hookups are a stereotype. Receptions tend to be full of young, single people — mostly friends and friends of friends — who have romance on the brain and a dance floor nearby. Here are 10 rules to help you succeed at a quickie courtship and ensure you don't embarrass yourself in the process.

1. Show up single. Even if your invitation welcomes a plus one, showing up without a date — even a friend date — makes it more likely you'll go home with one.
2. Ask for help. Nudge in-the-know members of the wedding party to point out potential paramours or, better yet, seat you next to them.
3. Be focused. Figure out who's single (one advantage of the dreaded singles table) and center your efforts on the one who strikes your fancy. Nothing says gauche like a girl flirting with every guy on the dance floor.
4. Speaking of the dance floor, go there. You'll have more opportunity to mingle than if you park yourself by the food table, and even if you don't meet someone, at least you'll have fun.
5. Know when to back off. If your flirtation isn't reciprocated, let it go. Being pushy is even more off-putting with a roomful of people watching.
6. Get tipsy, but don't get drunk. If it loosens you up to knock back some bubbly, fine, but don't set yourself up for slurred speech and wardrobe malfunctions.
7. Confirm single status. Before bedding down with anyone, please, confirm that he or she is single. This rule is essential when your pool of potential hookups includes the friends and family of the bride and groom.
8. Get a room, or something. Even if the entire reception has watched you flirt doesn't mean they have to witness your PDA too. Keep it classy.
9. Don't show up to the wedding brunch in your dress from the night before. Enough said.
10. Also, save the kissing and telling for later. If you want to dish with your friends about your conquest, save it for after the wedding-related festivities.

Share your tips (and your juicy wedding hookup stories) below.

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our community. Add your advice in the comments!

So I met this guy online several years ago. We dated and had a long-distance relationship. Three years into the relationship, I was ready to relocate to his town. As soon as I started getting interviews in his town, he started saying that he wasn't ready for a relationship and that maybe 10 years down the road we could live in the same state. I found out he was cheating, forgave him and wanted to try counseling. But he didn't want to try counseling and broke up with me when it should have been the other way around.

I took an entire year to heal from this relationship from hell. I read a lot of self help books and started activities that I enjoyed to rebuild my self esteem. Then I decided to get back in the dating game and met an awesome man on a dating site who lived close to me. He opened doors and was nothing but a pure gentleman. We waited until three months into our relationship before becoming physical. I was so very happy with this new man and felt like what we had was special. We became intimate for the second time and afterwards he said, "I am afraid to be a boyfriend. I am not ready for a relationship. Can we just be friends?" I became furious and said some very nasty things to him. After I had cooled down, I apologized and wanted to sit down to discuss why I had been so hurt and upset. But he would not accept any form of an apology from me and refused to speak to me.

I've done everything right this time by taking the opportunity to get to know him before jumping into a relationship. I prayed over it and gave everything thoughtful contemplation. Yet things still didn't work out, and I feel like I have lost for the second time because he broke up with me when I did nothing to warrant it. I am not an emotionally unavailable woman and do want to be in a loving and committed relationship. I am hurt and frustrated that guys seem so available until the moment that they have had me. What can I do to prevent this from happening. I asked all the right questions and got "yes I want to be with you." Once he had me, I was no longer interesting!

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it anonymously in Group Therapy for advice.

We're happy to present this story from one of our favorite sites, The Knot. Avoiding social media pitfalls in regards to your wedding can be tricky. Here are five things to look out for!

Facebook has changed the way you plan your wedding. Here are five common social mishaps and how to avoid them from the moment you say "yes."

Related: Comebacks to the rudest wedding questions

1. Someone in your family found out on Facebook.
As soon as you change your status (woot!), there's a family member or friend who's mad they didn't get the announcement via phone.
Our advice: Before you officially change your Facebook status, call your immediate family and closest friends with the news. Other friends and not-so-close relatives might appreciate a heartfelt email with the good news and your engagement story.

Related: 10 worst real wedding nightmares

2. A so-called friend left a snarky comment on your Facebook wall about your ring photos.
Those ring photos that you posted in post engagement bliss? Apparently, a sapphire is "just not their style."
Our advice: Take the high road and ignore the comment. This would be the perfect time to clean closet and hide this person from your feed. (PS: We think sapphires are stunning.)

Related: 10 ways to ruin a wedding

3. People assume they're invited to your wedding because you're Facebook friends.
For some, it's hard to draw the line between friend and Facebook friend. Those who aren't invited will inevitably post on your wall about their wedding invitation that's lost in the mail.
Our advice: Refrain from sharing every detail of your wedding on Facebook. If (and when) you get the self-invited guest post on your wall, let them know that your venue and budget can only allow for a certain number of guests. (Hint: It's not them.)

Related: 25 unusual honeymoon hot spots

4. Some think that Facebook is the new RSVP card.
It's hard to believe but we've heard of more than one couple who's received a casual, "We'll be there. And so will our four-plus guests," Facebook message.
Our advice: Respond by asking them to return their card (that one with the stamp). This would also be the perfect time to politely inform them that you've reserved two seats in their honor and can't wait to party together on your wedding day.

Related: Secrets to a fun wedding reception

5. Facebook has made prewedding party privacy a thing of the past.
The bridal shower photos that were posted by your maid of honor might have a third cousin peeved because she didn't get an invite. And those bachelorette pics from your not-so-innocent Vegas trip gave everyone from your office a good laugh.
Our advice: Everyone loves sharing photos from wedding events — you'll have tons of fun ones throughout your engagement. Create a wedding group on Facebook from the beginning to avoid hurt feelings and oversharing.

— The Editors of TheKnot.com

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our community. Add your advice in the comments!

I have a big dilemma. I used to date this guy and the things weren't going in the direction I was hoping, so I ended it. He seemed sort of emotionally unavailable and always stressed out regarding his work status (are they going to renew his post doc contract?, for how long?, etc.). I am looking for a committed, stable guy. He seems to be a nice man, but the major problem here is his work. He works on a contract, which ends the end of August. He is a post doc fellow who is hoping to land a permanent position in his field once his post doc ends. However, he comes from a different country and even though he has his permanent residency status here solved, unless he lands a permanent position in his field here, he will be looking for one in his country of origin. I don't think he is even remotely interested in taking a job that is out of his field, he would much rather go back to his country.

I am confused and even though I like him, I feel that at this moment it's the best we just stay friends. However, he approached me yesterday saying that he does not want to be just friends, that he really likes me and want us to start a real relationship again, but this time a better one, which means more committed. I am really confused. I would be most comfortable with us just being friends until I see that things changed and he really is more committed as he says he is. What's the best answer to give him? If he really likes me, is he going to accept the "friendship only" pace I am willing to take right now?

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it anonymously in Group Therapy for advice.

Have you ever spotted a photo on Facebook of all your friends hanging out together and felt superjealous and left out that you weren't invited? Or maybe you've been texting your best friends but no one's responding and you jump to the conclusion that they must be doing something amazing without you. Then you might have a bad case of FOMO, aka the "fear of missing out." In today's modern age of check-ins, Instagram, and instantaneous forms of communication, it's especially easy to see all the fun parties and happy hours you might be missing out on. But while it's natural to feel a tinge of jealousy when you miss the memo on a gathering, it's good to relax and let some things go. Otherwise you'll seem a bit overly dramatic — like Pitch Perfect's Anna Camp in this hilarious FOMO horror movie trailer from CollegeHumor. Watch it now!

Modern Dating: A Field Guide, a collaboration between writer and blogger Chiara Atik and HowAboutWe cofounders Brian Schechter and Aaron Schildkrout, is jam-packed with real-world advice on courtship for singles in this modern dating jungle of sexting, online dating apps, and Google searches. But while the guide tackles these new technologies and the complications of contemporary dating, it's also full of sweet and simple dating rules that ring true no matter what decade you were born in.

Here's just one helpful excerpt from the book on first dates:

10 Things You Should Know at the End of a First Date

1. If he's gainfully employed
2. If he's cheap (as opposed to thrifty, which is fine)
3. If you have at least one thing in common
4. If you think he's funny
5. If he's smart
6. If he's insecure
7. If he has a kid
8. If he seems genuinely interested in you
9. If he's polite
10. If he talks about himself the whole time

5 Things You Shouldn't Know

1. How much money he makes
2. How awesome his ex is, and why they broke up
3. What he's like when he's really drunk
4. How many other dates he's been on lately
5. How hard he's working to overcome any issues/psychological problems/setbacks