Skip Nav

Matt's Coming-Out Miscommunication

Erika and I had been very close all through college; at one point she dated one of my best friends. After they broke up, it became clear to me that she had become interested in being more than just friends with me. And considering I was struggling with coming out of the closet at the time, I thought this was my one last chance of trying to make it work with a girl. I even brought her home to my family in hopes that they would find something wrong with her. Of course they loved her, and it freaked me out. I didn't do anything to pursue it — I was still pretending that she and I were just friends. But a few short months after that, I realized I had to end this. I had already come out to some other people, so I needed to come out to her, too. So we go to dinner and literally at the same time we say, "I have something to tell you." Then she goes, "You go first." And I say, "I'm gay." And she cries, but like happy cries, and she says she's so happy for me. But when I ask her what she was going to tell me, she says it wasn't a big deal.

I found out that she had been planning on giving me a letter confessing her love for me, and years later she gave me the letter at Christmas. But it ended happily; I was at her wedding when she married an amazing man, and we're still friends.

Read More DatingRelationshipsValentine's Day