online dating

We're happy to present this excerpt from one of our favorite sites, YourTango. Today, David Osterczy gives us an excerpt from his new book 101 Online Dating Tips.

Here is a smattering of tips from my latest book, Dating DeMistyfied, 101 Online Dating Tips.

I've left out much of "the meat and potatoes," but left in enough content for you to get an indication of what you will learn from this book. This book was written from 10 years of Internet dating experience, thousands of interviews with both men and women and research garnered from our last five to six Dating DeMistyfied Workshops.

1. Put great effort into writing your profile. Show passion and humor.

I mean really, if you can't have fun writing a simple online profile, then what sort of person do you suppose that you'll attract? Way back in 2001, I submitted my first profile to Match.com. I had no experience writing profiles but just figured what the hell . . . let's have fun!

I wrote the text on a Sunday night and didn't check my email until Friday night. During the five days I was "away," I received nearly 150 emails from about 120 women. Yes, some wrote me up to three times during that week! I was shocked, but realized that I was on to something!

The point that I'm attempting to make is to be sure that your personality comes through in the profile. If you're silly or funny, then by all means, portray that! If you're really smart and have a lot to say, then say it! If you're sarcastic — in a good way — then allow that to come through. If you're not into writing, like many are not, then just do the best that you can but make sure to come across as you. After all, you are the only one that you really know how to be!

Just have fun folks! Be honest and definitely ask for what you want when describing what you seek in a mate. Write in the same manner as you speak so that each person reading your profile feels that you're talking directly to him or her. After all, that is what we're all here for!

2. Make sure to upload only the clearest, best and most recent photos.

You'd think that this would be a no brainer, but the more you surf the personals online, the more you'll be shocked at the sheer idiocy of some people and the pictures they submit to dating sites. Photos are your first line of attack, and if they suck, no-one will even read your wonderful, well thought out profile! I'm not telling you that you need to go out and get professional shots taken, but I have friends who have done very well going exactly that route.

Simply put, if you don't have any decent, clear photos of yourself, then grab your digital (you know that you have one!) and grab some friends and spend the day taking lots of photos alone and in groups. It is critically important that you have a variety of pictures. Have some close-ups (head-shots) so that people can see how beautiful your eyes are, some full length shots so they can get an idea of your body type and some group photos so they know that you actually leave the house and can be social.

For the rest of the article, head to YourTango: Online Dating: 5 Ways To Stand Out From The Crowd

Written by David Osterczy for YourTango.

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Here's a question every geeky gal wants answered: "Where can I meet a single geek?" For all the single ladies out there, here are 10 possible places to uncover scores of single geeks.

By the way, leave your other tech-related questions on our Facebook page, in the comments, or in our Ask a Geek Girl group.

1. Neighborhood coffee shops — Bring a book or your laptop and hang out at an independent coffee shop several times a week. You're more likely to see regulars (aka good-looking geeks) at local joints than you would at a chain. For an easy opener, ask if you can share the table, then spark up a conversation.
2. Night classes — Whether it's a dance lesson, coding class, or novel-writing seminar, classes are a great place to meet a future brainy mate. Pounce on the opportunity to partner up with the cute geek in the room, whether it's to complete a project, study, or edit each other's work.

See the rest of the list when you read more.

• An expert helps you find your perfect online dating site — YourTango
• 15 top-secret celebrity weddings — The Frisky
• What not to say to a stay-at-home mom — Glo
• Instagram bans "thinspo" photos — Huffington Post
• A look at celebrities who have come out as . . . straight — The Daily Beast
• Michelle Obama is the most televised first lady in US history — The Jane Dough
• 11 signs he's a cheater — College Candy
• Sneak peek: a look at The Five-Year Engagement — BuzzSugar
• A random collection of hot guys to start your week — theBERRY

Spring is officially here, and the new season is the perfect time to set out on some new dating endeavors. If you're heading out with friends to enjoy the pleasant weather, complementing your girlfriend adventures with online dates can hopefully add to the springtime fun. If you feel like your profile isn't working, or if you're getting loads of messages you're not into, you're in luck. I've got you covered with five fresh ways to breathe new life into a tired online profile.

1. Get a new picture. Forget a picture of just your face. I know you think it's your best, but a potential suitor is going to want to see what you're working with. Whether you're a teeny tiny lady or you're rocking some gorgeous curves, a head shot without a body shot is a little bit of a red flag. You've got to flaunt it, especially since one study found women who show off "controversial" traits like tattoos or an imperfect nose, get more attention. To make the whole thing feel a little more fun, think about inviting some friends over, get all dressed up, start shooting some new profile pictures, and then hit the town.
2. Get real. This may seem super obvious, but please, don't lie. Why would you want to set strange or unrealistic expectations of who you are — or what you're not — before you've ever met someone in the flesh? Go back into your profile with a keen eye, and pretend that you have a red pen. Take out all the things that sound or feel inauthentic, and in their place, say what's real. Put in your age and occupation, if you have kids, and most importantly, what kind of relationship you're actually looking for. Not what you think some hot dude wants to hear.
3. Get confident. No need to be super humble here. As strange as it seems, you're trying to sell yourself a little bit here, sister. And get a little sexy! If you're not getting the kinds of responses you want, try putting yourself out there a little more. Talk about the things you love, what you're good at, and what you're really looking for in a relationship.

Keep reading for two more ways to spruce up your dating profile.

If the promise of more sex more often doesn't get you into online games, maybe this will: gaming could be a great way to meet guys. According to a new study by Online University, the odds of you scoring a date with someone who is committed and honest are higher if you're playing World of Warcraft than if you're trolling through hundreds of "matches" on dating sites. The study shows that online gamers spend more time on gaming sites than online daters spend on sites like Match.com and eHarmony (which means you have better odds of meeting more people more often), and WoW players are more likely to share personal information and feelings about themselves with fellow gamers than their "real-life" friends.

The cold, hard fact is there are 12 million people playing World of Warcraft online vs. dating sites, which boast just one million members. That translates to about three percent of the United States population playing online games. A bigger sea means more fish to catch with your button-mashing prowess. Game on!

For those of you looking for a fresh dating start this Spring, online dating may be a great way to get out there and meet someone new. And thankfully, it may have got a lot safer to try out Internet matchmaking. Three major online dating companies — Match.com, eHarmony, and Spark Networks — have signed a statement agreeing to screen for sexual predators, give their members online dating safety advice, and simplify the way members report abuse on their sites. Match had already started screening for registered sex offenders last year after a woman filed a lawsuit for being sexually assaulted by someone she met on the site. Even though this new statement isn't binding and doesn't carry any penalties if the sites don't enforce the policies, it's meant to encourage other sites to take online dating safety seriously.

Will these new efforts make you feel more comfortable with online dating? And check out these tips on online dating safety and red flags to watch out for:

• Online dating safety tips
• Red flags to watch out for in his online dating profile
• Signs he may be lying in his online dating profile

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

I met a guy off of eharmony.com. We have had a decent handful of dates and I really dig the guy. Everything has been, well easy. He calls, makes plans, communicates . . . he has a lot of qualities that I would like in a guy for a long term relationship. So the other day I noticed on eharmony that we have mutual Facebook friends. so I sent a request. on his fb wall, he recently added a friend who's profile picture is of her . . . and him. To my utter shock! She's basically on his lap. Then the other day he sent a group message to me and 2 other numbers, one of which belonged to the girl from his fb. I can't imagine someone being this dumb, but my question is should I call him out? I don't want to assume the worst and have it be like, his COUSIN or something. But would it be too much if I were to confront him with my concern? And if so, do I wait until I see him next? Or casually ask via text? I suppose if I get no response I'll have my answer . . . HELP!

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it anonymously to Group Therapy for advice, and check out what else is happening in the TrèsSugar Community.

Our neighbors up north are having more problems down south. In Canada, syphilis and chlamydia rates have risen and some public health experts point to the popularity of online dating as a likely culprit.

When you meet someone online, you probably know a good amount about his or her interests, background, and personality before you get in bed thanks to the profile and communication that happens upfront. This greater sense of intimacy might make people less likely to use condoms with partners they meet online, versus those they meet out at a bar, for example.

Since 2000, cases of syphilis grew 10 times, chlamydia rates have jumped 66 percent, and HIV rates among heterosexual women have also spiked in Canada. And in America, rates are up, too. A survey of online dating trends in Canada found that 25 percent of Canadians have tried online dating and 16 percent had sex with someone they met online. The author of Seductive Delusions — How Everyday People Catch STDs explains the risk: "Typically, the more we know someone, the less likely in general we are to think they have an STD . . . ‘Oh, they’re like me, they’re not going to have an STD.'" Older people, who are no longer at risk of pregnancy or worry about performance issues are also likely to skip condoms. And just the mere fact that it's easier for everyone to find sex partners online could help explain the uptick.

So whether or not you spot a lack of personal pronouns, a short profile, or other signs that a guy is lying on his profile, use a condom when you sleep with him!