sex education

When Krista M. was young, her mom never had "the sex talk" with her, and as a result, she says she "learned bits of misinformation from friends and in school." The whole experience left her mortified. Like many Circle of Moms members raised in homes where conversations about the birds and the bees were taboo, she’s “committed to approach sex education in a much more healthy way” with her own daughter. 

But that’s not always easy to do in today’s environment. Some schools have started distributing condoms as early as first grade, and reality TV and the Internet bring sex into children’s bedrooms via their computer and TV screens, many Circle of Moms members like Jillian J. point out. "I had to talk to my 9-year-old recently because a classmate told her she should check out a Web site about sex," she says. Similarly, Mandy W. notes that her 10-year-old daughter is "starting to talk about the sex she’s seeing on TV." Turning to Circle of Moms members for advice, Mandy asks, "What age do you think it is acceptable to discuss the facts of life with your daughter?"

With kids talking about sex earlier than ever, it's not easy to know the right time to talk to kids about sex — or the most appropriate way to do it. To help, other moms have shared five key pieces of advice.

Keep reading to find out their biggest dos and don'ts.

Want to know where a woman stands on issues like abortion, birth control, and sex ed? Forget asking her if she's pro-life or pro-choice; instead, find out if she's pro-Palin or anti-Palin.

A new survey by Planned Parenthood set out to determine how many people agree with Palin's stance on high-profile women's health issues. Palin opposes abortion except to save the life of a mother and has said she'd choose life in the case of rape, and she favors abstinence-only education over explicit sex ed; however, she does support contraception (but not in schools). Among women, only 22 percent say they trust Palin to represent their views. Conversely, 54 percent find Planned Parenthood trustworthy. Of all registered voters, 31 percent say Palin is in step with their beliefs.

Last year, a survey found that a majority of Americans call themselves pro-life. But the fact that less than a third identify with one of the most visible faces of that movement offers more evidence that the public's views fall somewhere along a spectrum — for example, someone might identify as pro-life but support abortion in the case of rape or incest. Would you trust Sarah on reproductive issues?

Let's talk about sex . . . or else! According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, reluctance to talk about sex is keeping STD infection rates on the rise in the US, especially among teens. After practically being eradicated, syphilis is resurgent, and chlamydia and gonorrhea are also at "unacceptably high levels." Thanks to our prudishness, the US has the highest rate of STDs of any developed country in the world.

It's no secret that abstinence-only sex education is popular in America. Thankfully, after confronting the fact that abstinence-only education does not effectively reduce STD infection rates, some school districts are moving to abstinence-plus education, which reasonably stresses the importance of using protection if a teen is sexually active.

Of course, parents can also do something to reduce STD risks by providing a little sex education at home. When I asked a while back, more than half of TrèsSugar readers said their parents avoided having an awkward conversation about contraception. Maybe these new statistics will remind parents that reducing health risks are worth a few uncomfortable minutes.

When Obama decided not to renew the Title V grant program that funds abstinence-only sex education programs in his 2010 budget, places like McLennan County in Texas found their coffers, already depleted when their $800,000 grant ran out in 2007, dwindle from $1 million to zero.

Since 1997, $1.9 billion in government funding ($1.5 billion of it federal money) has gone to abstinence-only education, turning it into an industry unto itself. Although the Senate Finance Committee voted to restore the funding 12-11 last month, the measure needs to pass the full Congress, which is unlikely. At this point, it looks like private donors will have to cough up the funding if these programs want to survive.

Abstinence ed flourished in the late '90s and early 2000s and federal funding doubled from $80 million in 2001 to $200 million during the Bush years in spite of research that showed sexual behavior didn't change among those who had received the education.

So what's the future of abstinence-only education? Its advocates like Director Tracy Cousins of the McLennan County Collaborative Abstinence Program (MCCAP) in Texas considered tweaking their programs in order to get some funding. But they decided in the end that showing students, for example, how to put a condom on compromised their message of abstinence only. "We believe," says Tracy Cousins,"the best approach [for students] is they should not engage in sexual activity."

Sex ed in the UK isn't all about STDs and birth control. A leaflet being handed out in schools by Britain's National Health Service hopes to educate students on the pleasures of sex.

With the slogan "an orgasm a day keeps the doctor away," the material reads:

Health promotion experts advocate five portions of fruit and veg a day and 30 minutes physical activity three times a week. What about sex or masturbation twice a week?

One of the officials behind the leaflet says that instead of encouraging teen sex, the message could prompt youth to delay having sex until they're sure they will enjoy it. Maybe with the failure of a teen pregnancy prevention program that actually increased the risk of pregnancy, Britain is ready to try just about anything when it comes to sex ed.

While encouraging daily sex might be a little extreme, I find the positive attitude toward sex refreshing and I hope it will encourage responsible and fulfilling practices among teens. What do you make of it?