self esteem

by Tres Community

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

How do you help a friend with lack of confidence who remains oblivious after realizing her boyfriend has cheated on her over and over again? This is the case of ALL my friends. They're smart, beautiful women, in college with decent jobs, dating pricks, drop-outs, unemployed men who all they do is manipulate them and put them down. It is so frustrating seeing my friends cry over these pricks and forgiving them days later! How can I open their eyes so they can see what I see?!!


Have a dilemma of your own? Post it anonymously to Group Therapy for advice, and check out what else is happening in the TrèsSugar Community.

by Jaime Richards

One thing that makes Gwen Stefani so captivating is her honesty. She's so forthcoming, in fact, that many of her songs feature personal details about her life and emotions. Similarly, when it comes to beauty, Gwen is not one to put a spin on things. See some examples of Gwen keeping it real when you read more.

by OnSugar Blog

Here's a post from OnSugar blog My DISFunkshion.

Do you treat yourself as well as you treat your friends and family? A growing area of psychological research called self-compassion suggests that giving our selves a break and accepting our imperfections can lead to better health and can help beat depression and anxiety. It turns out, people who find it easy to be supportive and understanding of others tend to score quite low on self-compassion tests, putting themselves down for their own perceived failures like being over weight and not exercising.

Self-compassion is not to be confused with self-indulgence, notes Kristin Neff, a pioneer in the field. It may seem obvious to be kind to yourself, but Neff, an associate professor of human development at the University of Texas at Austin, told The New York Times, “[People] believe self-criticism is what keeps them in line. Most people have gotten it wrong because our culture says being hard on yourself is the way to be.” She uses the example of a parent whose child is doing poorly in school. Most parents would offer support, such as a tutor. But when adults find themselves in a similar situation — struggling at work or eating too much junk food--they fall into a cycle of negativity and self-criticism. “The problem is that it’s hard to unlearn habits of a lifetime,” Neff said. “People have to actively and consciously develop the habit of self-compassion.”

Could self-compassion lead to life-satisfaction? Try turning around your thinking of self-deprecation and deprivation and imagine how you would treat a small child who loved very much. How would you support them and help them feel better and be healthier? How can you be kind to yourself in this moment?

Want to see more? Start following My DISFunkshion or start your own OnSugar blog. Maybe your stories will be posted here on TrèsSugar!

by POPSUGAR Fitness

This might be the oddest Twitter exchange of late. Someone tweeted, "I'm getting head 2 toe plastic surgery nxt week 2 look like @kimkardashian so my husband won't leave me. He worships her." Ms. Kardashian tweeted back,

"Pls don't. Ur husband should love u 4 who u are! Don't try 2 b someone else. Im sure u are beautiful inside and out! Just as u are." She added, "Don't change yourself for anybody but yourself...be happy with who u are! Someone will appreciate and adore u just as you are."

Kim Kardashian clarified her position on cosmetic enhancements with US magazine, saying she's "totally not against plastic surgery" — she's experimented with Botox — but going under the knife is a weighty matter. Do you think Kim's words kept her fan from plastic surgery?

by POPSUGAR Sex & Culture

Books have been written about it — What French Women Know, Entre Nous: A Woman's Guide to Finding Her Inner French, and Why French Women Don't Sleep Alone — but still that je ne sais quoi that makes French synonymous with sexy perplexes American women.

We're not alone though — the British are just as baffled. Yesterday Kate Carter asked this question in the Guardian, citing how "scruffy," "dowdy," and much like "rosbif" (roast beef) English women are. And while nobody does the collective down-on-yourself shtick better than the Brits, anyone could feel beefy compared to French women. From a fashion standpoint, Carter decides lingerie is the major distinction: French women spend 20 percent of their fashion budget on underwear. I have no idea what American and British women spend, but it probably has everything to do with how active our dating lives are.

So what's the real difference? Find out below

by POPSUGAR Beauty

Want to feel better about your looks? If you usually wear makeup, take a day off. It might sound counterintuitive, but it's a good way to get more comfortable with yourself.

I go completely "naked" at least once a week, and I got the idea from a friend who has a large port wine stain on her face. She spent years feeling self-conscious about it, covering it with heavy concealer, but now she sometimes lets it show. "It doesn't change who I am," she says. If anything, it makes her more comfortable with herself, because she's not hiding a thing. (She met her husband on one of these makeup-free days, by the way.)

It's a good exercise in self-acceptance, and women who feel confident no matter how they look are powerful. Plus, you might find that other people don't notice your "flaws" nearly as much as you'd think. If you're the kind of woman who always needs to be done-up, try going natural for just one day. You might be surprised by what you learn about yourself.

Source: Flickr user MrB-MMX