self confidence

A lack of confidence can hold you back in many ways. It may cause a self-defeatist attitude that prevents you from reaching your full potential. I talked to life coach Martha Beck, a speaker at the O You! event in Los Angeles this Saturday, who had some wise words of advice for those who don't feel good about themselves. Here's how you can drop your insecurities:

• Challenge yourself. "The only way to become confident is to do things that frighten you," Beck says. "When I was 14 years old, I started doing one constructive thing that feels scary every day. I still hold myself to that. It's the only reason I have any confidence at all."
• Acknowledge it. "It's not unhealthy to be insecure as long as you don't lie about it. Insecurity is natural. Admitting it is courageous. Being honest about insecurity allows security to develop."

This question is from Group Therapy in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

I am a meek person. I often get called a pushover. I admire people who are able to talk openly with others. I have to admit that I do have problems expressing myself and feelings, especially anger. I want to be bold! I want to be assertive and be able to be real about the way I feel and not care too much if I'm going to hurt someone's feelings or they are going to judge me. Cause in the end I'm the one that ends up upset. What can I do in my life to improve myself, so that I can be comfortable with speaking my mind and being a better me?

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it, anonymously, to Group Therapy for advice, and check out what else is happening in the TrèsSugar Community.

"People always ask me, 'You have so much confidence. Where did that come from?' It came from me. One day I decided that I was beautiful, and so I carried out my life as if I was a beautiful girl."

— In a new interview with Harper's Bazaar, Precious star Gabourey Sidibe proves she's wise well beyond her 26 years. I say we all adopt her attitude.

When Victoria Beckham came out as a gym addict earlier this year, people were more than a bit incredulous. Well Posh's fitness routine is once again in the news. It seems she didn't feel her old regimen of running eight miles six times a week was enough to prepare her body for her recent Emporio Armani ads with hubby soccer-stud David, so she implemented daily workouts. The 35-year old said, "I wanted to look at those pictures in 20 years' time and say 'Wow, look — after three kids — I didn't look bad.'" Mrs. Beckham didn't want to rely on retouching either.

One would think posing in gorgeous undergarments would give a gal a boost of confidence, but friends close to the former Spice Girl revealed that their gal pal's "not the most confident of girls." Sources close to Victoria told Us Magazine that she has had three breast surgeries, two enhancements followed by a reduction done earlier this year. Considering her fame and hot hubbie, does her lack of self-confidence surprise you?