Romance

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

My longest relationship lasted for two years and was a long distance one. My boyfriend was handsome, a family man who treated his best friends like brothers, and who loved taking care of me in every way possible. We were both finishing university and though we didn’t have much money, we tried our best to travel and see each other. The feeling of growing up together was great but there was no romance — there were no romantic gestures or anything that swept me off my feet. At times I even felt he treated me like one more of his "brothers" and I called him out on it on more than one occasion; he also never gave me things I wanted but gave me things he thought I should want, and so as sad as it made me I had to end it.

After him, I dated another guy for four months. This guy was completely different; he was also handsome, but not much into family, and he was wealthy. I wasn’t "growing up" with him, but in a way it was good and again, we weren’t exactly romantic. I didn’t end it because of that; it had only been four months so I was hoping time would give him the comfort of being more romantic. In the end he wasn’t a good man, so I walked away.

Those were my last two meaningful relationships and the last one ended over a year ago. Now at 27 I have no prospects, no crush, nobody trying to woo me, nobody pursuing me, not even a silly text message from a guy friend pretending to like me. I don’t even have a face to daydream about.

Keep reading for the rest of this reader's dilemma.

Sasha Grey, the porn-star-as-performance-art actress, isn't the first person you'd ask about romance. But while publicizing her book Neü Sex, she told the Daily Beast that the male-dominant sex so popular in porn can not only be romantic, it can also be empowering, at least to her. So I couldn't help but ask: What is romance to you, Sasha Grey?

"Not chocolate and roses and a candlelit dinner. I want a sloppy, handwritten letter on newspaper where you white-out the newspaper . . . Something with thought to it. A shiny ring isn’t romantic to me. I think thought and love into what you do for the person you're in love with — that's romance."

I'm partial to finding romance in the last place you'd look, so I'd say her answer is spot-on, for me anyway. But what is romance to you?

• Better late than never: a roundup of romantic images for V-Day — The Enchanted Life
• 3 celebrities who penned memoirs at ridiculously young ages — Mydisfunkshion
• The art of persuasion — Confessions of an Online Dating Queen
• First he kisses me, then he ignores me — All the Single Ladies

Yum gave us tips for keeping dinner casual on Valentine's Day, and now Casa is here to help turn our everyday houses into romantic escapes without losing our minds or blowing our budgets.

CasaSugar editor Elka Karl has six tips for getting every room in your home (at least the ones that matter) romance-ready.

• "Don't try to do a deep clean before your Valentine's Day at-home date. It'll just exhaust you. Instead, stack clutter out of your view (such as in a closet or drawer) and then turn the lights down low so you aren't distracted by any residual dust bunnies. Light your night up with sandalwood candles, since the scent is known to be an aphrodisiac for both men and women."
• "Get intimate. Forgo the dining table if you're doing dinner at home and create an on-the-floor intimate dinner for the two of you. To make it even more alluring (and fun), set up this romantic Valentine's Day fort. You can get more inspiration from my holiday dinner and a movie tablescape."
• "I cannot emphasize the importance of fresh flowers for setting the mood of the evening. Even if you just buy a few bouquets of grocery store blooms, a little arranging can add a beautiful touch. My favorite go-to source (ladies, forward this post to your significant others so they'll get the message loud and clear) is Organic Bouquet."

Read the other three below.

It's hard enough to make a night out of Valentine's Day when it falls on a Monday like this year, but there's a whole other layer of planning when you have kids. Since we, childless at TrèsSugar, know nothing of this parent-specific dilemma, we enlisted the help of mother, wife, and blogger extraordinaire Heather Maddan, editor of LilSugar, for advice on how to put romance first and kids second — just for one night!

Here are Heather's five tips for making sure next Monday is anything but manic.

• Rather than fretting over an original plan, pull from your past (when you could afford to be spontaneous), and relive a memorable, pre-baby date. Going to the same spot will put you in a nostalgic and carefree state of mind.
• Parents (especially mothers) tend to put everyone else first, so mix up the gift-giving. Buy for yourselves, so you and your partner can each get the item you’ve been eyeing without feeling guilty.
• Book a sitter and have her come early, so you can take time to get ready. Soak in the tub, apply false eyelashes, or try on different outfits — and drink a couple of cocktails, like you did in your single days.
• Surprise your spouse with something unexpected. Whether it’s a gesture or words, it will add a romantic, humorous, or endearing twist to the occasion.
• Watch the sunset. Or at least make a pact to not check the time!

If you have your own advice, add it below!

Don't want to show up at a divorce party empty-handed? Behold the breakup gift basket! Yes, someone has actually made this: the Il Bastardo Breakup Wine Gift Basket could be yours or your forlorn friend's for just $55.

The breakup basket comes filled with a bottle of Il Bastardo wine (clever!), lots of pig-out-worthy snacks (questionable), and a book called Quickie Stickies: 100 Pick-Me-Ups for When You're Feeling Unglued.

Though I doubt I'll be buying this particular item, I am totally making a breakup care package next time one of my friends gets dumped. A bottle of booze would be a no-brainer, and I'd also probably throw in a gift certificate for a massage, some guilty pleasure DVDs, and maybe a movie that's neither romantic nor depressing but has a good breakup-related message, like (500) Days of Summer. What would you want in a breakup gift basket? Chocolate? A mix of sad songs? Sex toys? Chime in below, and we'll see if we can do better than this basket.

Romantic comedies are often gimmicky and far-fetched, so it's pretty neat that Letters to Juliet, out this weekend, has some real-life love stories behind it — many unrequited, and at least one finally fulfilled.

In the movie, Amanda Seyfried plays Sophie, an American in Verona who joins a group of locals in responding to the letters addressed to Shakespeare's fictional heroine. When Sophie writes back to Claire (Vanessa Redgrave), who left her long-lost love in Italy 50 years before, Claire returns to find him with Sophie's help.

Turns out, the part about the letters is totally true. In the town made famous by Shakespeare's star-crossed lovers, these letters arrive by the dozens, often addressed vaguely as "Juliet, Verona, Italy." A self-appointed club who call themselves the "secretaries of Juliet" reply to the notes, many of which are written by teenage girls in the US.

What's even more remarkable is how Redgrave's real-life romance with Franco Nero, who plays her lover in the movie, mirrors the plot of the film. For all the details and a super-cute video, keep reading.