relationship advice

Keeping the spark alive in any marriage is something that both spouses need to work hard to achieve. Add a screaming baby, two sleepless new parents, and a new daily routine that everyone is still trying to get used to, and the flames of passion can be pretty hard to ignite! We asked relationship expert Andrea Syrtash — author of Cheat On Your Husband (With Your Husband) ($11) — to give us her top three tips for keeping the romance alive after baby arrives. Check it out!

1. Commit to a Regular Date Night: What does not count as a date night: watching TV, running to Costco, spending the entire date talking about the baby and the bills. If your baby is too young, set special time aside at home where you can connect as lovers — not just as coparents. One couple interviewed by Andrea picked an ethnic cuisine they tried to master together each month and then ate by candlelight.
2. Flirt: Send a sexy or thoughtful text or email during the day to show your partner you're thinking of him, compliment how good he looks, tease your husband, resurrect a few inside jokes that used to make you laugh . . . flirt, flirt, flirt! Courtship isn't only for dating.
3. Have Date Talk: One study showed that the average couple with kids speaks (uninterrupted) about 15 minutes a day. With a baby, couples tend to be too tired to talk — but talking (about nonstressful topics, not household chores, in-laws, or bills!) is essential in order to keep the spark alive. Stay curious about each other and you'll stay connected.

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

I have been dating my boyfriend for seven months now, known him for nine. He's truly a great guy — one in a million. I've never been able to relate to someone as much as I've had with him. I love him very much, but there's only one problem: the sex isn't good. We've talked about the situation before, and I could tell I've hurt his ego, which is one of the most important things to a guy, but I had to let him know and get to the bottom of it. I didn't want to have sex and not get pleasure from it when he was the only one benefiting from it. I told him that sex is a big part of a relationship, but there's other qualities that fill in for what he's lacking. He suggested that we slow down on doing it so much, but I didn't see how that would solve this unfortunate circumstance.

Keep reading for the rest of the dilemma and to help her out with your advice.