life balance

"People are in your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime . . . If a friendship is strong, then it will survive change. If it is less strong, then it will not, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't cherish all the good times you had." That's how user Onlysourcherry responded yesterday when I asked how you cope when your friends make lifestyle changes, like getting married or having kids. On the post and on Facebook, readers shared some great tips for staying connected if you want to really remain best friends forever. Here are five!

1. Make a Skype date.
2. Keep up with them on Facebook.
3. Schedule girl days.
4. Regularly exchange funny photos via email.
5. Make plans for a weekday lunch.

And many of you agree that it's OK to take a break. User Not Princess22 explains how she's moved on after her friends started families, while she went to grad school: "I decided that I needed fresh air, started meeting young, child-free couples and having a joy with my new friends. I still consider the others my best friends, but I need a break from them."

Anything else to add?

Source: Flickr User aidan_jones

We don't need the Bridesmaid movie trailer to know it can be hard for single friends to adjust to a best friend's engagement. When you're still far from the aisle, excitement for your friend can get mixed with melancholy thoughts that things won't be the same. Marriage isn't the only lifestyle change that can spark feelings of isolation. Perhaps you've had to get used to friends having kids, moving in with partners, or going to grad school. When you find yourself at a different life stage as your good friends, how do you adjust to the reality of spending less time together, or having less in common? And do you have any tips for staying connected?

Photos by Michael +Anna Costa Photography via Style Me Pretty

Editor's note: The following is a guest post written by Jodi Lipper and Cerina Vincent, authors of How to Eat Like a Hot Chick, How to Love Like a Hot Chick, and the just-released Live Like a Hot Chick.

It’s relatively easy to make friends in high school or college when you’re living in a giant building with thousands of other co-eds who are going through the same experiences as you. Once you graduate to the hectic working world, it can be much harder to find time to find friends or know where to find friends, but there are still opportunities to make lifelong pals who share your interests and hobbies, and will change your life for the better. Here’s how:

1. Join a Gym — Say hello to that friendly looking girl in your yoga class, or ask the woman who runs next to you on the treadmill every Tuesday if she’ll sign up for a spin class with you. It’s great to make friends with people who share your exercise schedule and healthy lifestyle, and if you enjoy her company when she’s sweating, huffing, and puffing, think about how much fun you’ll have after a shower and a martini.
2. Be Social at Work — Don’t waste all day chatting at a colleague’s desk instead of doing your job, but open yourself up to connecting with co-workers. Just be careful about opening up too much — that means going to happy hours, lunches, and sales at Sephora together, not bitching about your boss or sharing every drunken escapade.
3. Throw a Party — Even if you think you don’t have any friends, you’ll be surprised by how many people will show up to your place if you just invite them. Encourage everyone to bring their own friends and you’ll meet new people who will be obligated to invite you to their next party, where you can meet even more new friends.
4. Be Bold — Chemistry doesn’t just happen between the sheets. There is definitely such a thing as “friend chemistry,” and it is just as rare and special as a spark between you and a guy. If you find yourself chatting with the girl in line with you at the deli counter and it makes the time you spend waiting pass in an instant, don’t just buy your bologna and leave. Be bold and ask for her digits or email address, and you may head home with a great story about how you met your new best friend.
5. Look Online — Find an online group that’s related to something going on in your life. There are so many groups for specific cities, industries, etc. If you’re a new mom, meet others by chatting with them online about your baby’s sleep schedule and follow up with a play date, or if you’re new to a neighborhood join a local meet up group. If you can do everything from find dates to buy bras online, you can certainly find friends there, too.

Here's a post from OnSugar blog Rantings of a Single Girl.

I had a wonderful vacation.  Wonderful.  It was so great to see my best friend again and meet my nephew.  We had a great time just hanging out and catching up.  Getting to cuddle with the baby was a great stress reliever as well.  It was so hard to leave and come home.

When I got home, I can't tell you how badly my heart ached.  My house felt so empty.  Sure, Devil Cat was happily waiting on me, but it feels so void of life.  At my friend's house there were people coming by to celebrate the baby.  He was screaming, crying, cooing.  A family was in that home.  My home is missing all that.

Keep reading after the jump.

Editor's note: The following is a guest post written by Jodi Lipper and Cerina Vincent, authors of How to Eat Like a Hot Chick, How to Love Like a Hot Chick, and the just-released Live Like a Hot Chick.

Ending a friendship can be just as heartbreaking and confusing as breaking up with a boyfriend. It’s hard to find a reliable, trustworthy friend who understands you, doesn’t judge you or compete, and is just a plain old blast to hang out with. Losing that person can leave a gaping hole in your life, so follow these tips to filling it with more fun and friends.

1. Keep Busy: Don’t give up the things you used to do together just because you’re not together anymore. If you loved Sunday yoga and manicures with this friend, go to yoga and get a manicure on Sunday either by yourself or with another friend. Keeping up your old pace will prevent you from missing her too much.
2. Enjoy the Space: Sometimes friend breakups can bring a breath of fresh air into your life. If you and your gal pal went through some drama and tears or were way too close for comfort, notice how quiet and peaceful it is without her around. Enjoy the peace and appreciate having space in your life (and your texting plan) for things that are new and exciting and healthy.
3. Reconnect With Yourself: Did you always do what this friend wanted without giving any thought to what you wanted or enjoyed? Take this opportunity to check in with yourself and re-prioritize your life. If you give yourself a chance, we bet you’ll discover new hobbies, new friends, and new things about yourself.
4. Nurture Other Friendships: It’s great to have more time to either nurture an old friendship or find a new best friend. Call up old friends and re-connect, or start making friend dates with the cute girl from school or the gym. In order to make room in your closet for a new dress, you have to get rid of an old one, and the same concept applies to the people in your life!
5. Appreciate the Past: Your ex-friend was probably in your life for a reason. She taught you something or introduced you to someone else who ended up being an important part of your life. Either way, she served her purpose and you don’t need her anymore, so take a moment to appreciate the friendship for what it was and move on with love and gratitude.

Editor's note: The following is a guest post written by Jodi Lipper and Cerina Vincent, authors of How to Eat Like a Hot Chick, How to Love Like a Hot Chick, and the just-released Live Like a Hot Chick.

As frustrating and heartbreaking as they can be, mother/daughter dilemmas are completely normal and a part of almost every mother/daughter duo. If one of these common problems is threatening your relationship with mom, try our fast fixes below so that you can get some all-important motherly love!

Daughter Dilemma #1: Your Mom Keeps Asking When You're Going to Give Her Grandchildren

How to Deal With It: Remember that your mama just misses cuddling with her darling baby girl (i.e. YOU!) and wants to re-live that experience with your own sweet baby. Be honest with your mom about your thoughts and plans regarding children so that at least she'll have realistic expectations, whether she likes your time-line or not.

Daughter Dilemma #2: Your Mom Makes Snarky Comments About Your Weight

How to Deal With It: She probably just wants what’s best for you, and doesn’t realize that these nasty comments are anything but that! Try saying something like, “Mom, do you know that weight and body image issues are a problem for most women/girls my age? Calling attention to it just makes me feel bad about myself.” If she knows the damage her words cause, hopefully she will stop.

Daughter Dilemma #3: Your Mom Hates Your Boyfriend

How to Deal With it: First, make sure you are in a healthy relationship! If so, explain to your mom exactly what you love about this guy – how sweet he is, how well he treats you, etc. Even if she’s reluctant, encourage your mom to spend more time with your boyfriend so she can see how great he is for herself. Again, we’re pretty sure your mom only wants you to be happy, and once she knows you are, we really hope she’ll accept your man with open arms.

See the last two dilemmas after the jump!

This post was written by hausfrau in the TrèsSugar Community group Citizen Sugar Happy Hour.

I have a good girlfriend who is in the middle of making one of those huge, life altering decisions.

We've talked and talked, examined every angle, repeated ourselves over and over, but she is still undecided. Note: I don't mind talking over and over, it helps me consider everything.

She is moderately spiritual so she feels like she is just on the lookout for "signs" right now and eventually she'll see one that will steer her the right way.

So my question to you is, how do you make the huge decisions in your life? Lists? Pro/con? Signs? And at what point do you just make your call and go into action?

There's lots of great stuff going on in our community — join it, check it out, share your posts or advice in the great groups, and maybe we'll feature it here on TrèsSugar!

Ever feel like you lost a friend to her new relationship? You might be one of the unlucky friends who didn't make the cut. According to a report presented at the British Science Festival, the average person (man or woman) has five close friends, and the start of a new relationship results in the loss of two close friends on average for both partners. Maybe that's why there are only four friends in Sex and the City — they'll never have to give one up to a new relationship.

It's not all that depressing, though, at least for the person in the relationship. While we all have a limited supply of time and emotional resources to dedicate to friendships, a romantic relationship might offer the same support of at least two platonic friendships. Plus, your partner might widen your social circle, bringing his remaining friends into your world.

Do you relate to these findings?

Source: Flickr User e³°°°

This question comes from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

Overall, I would say that I have a good life, but it feels like something is missing. I moved to my current town 9 years ago to attend college and I remained here after graduation. I really have enjoyed my time here. I have met some really good people. Since it is a college town though, it can be hard to "fit in" unless you are out at the college bars all the time or are here with a family. I'm somewhere in the middle.

A majority of my friends from college that are nearby are now married and/or have started their own families. I have a decent job that I enjoy, but I don't think I can say that it is my life's passion. My family is wonderful and I love spending time with them. They live about 3 hours away from me and I try to see them once a month or so. I have a boyfriend and for the most part it's a good relationship. We have been together for 9 months or so. While I care a lot about him and truly enjoy our time together, I'm not 100% sure that he is the one. He recently told me that he loves me and has talked about wanting to get married. I'm not in a huge rush to get married at all, to anyone.

So as you can see, my life isn't horrible. I just feel like I haven't done what I'm meant to yet, and I'm not sure what that is. I have toyed with the idea of moving to a bigger city, but at the same time I like being within driving distance of my family. I am starting to feel like I am just "comfortable" with where my life is right now. I don't want to just be "comfortable." I want to be great, outstanding, exciting, etc. I get into ruts and it is hard for me to make big changes. I want to live my life to the fullest and I don't know that I'm doing that right now. I'm in my late 20s and don't want to look back and see that I've just settled for life. I'm not really sure where to start making changes though? Ideas?

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it, anonymously, to Group Therapy for advice, and check out what else is happening in the TrèsSugar Community.

Whether it's girlfriends or guys, friends usually bring drama in our lives, but we love them anyway. And we should!

Researchers at Brigham Young University and University of North Carolina combed through 148 studies and more than 300,000 people to determine a strong social network adds 3.7 years onto life.

People with no social support have a mortality rate equal to alcoholics, even higher than obese people, and are 50 percent more likely to die early. Those with supportive friends have better blood pressure and cholesterol levels and less stress. It may sound depressing, but Dr. Antonio Gomez of the University of California said the takeaway should be this: maintain good friendships if you have them. If not? Cultivate some.

Maybe do away with any toxic friendships first, though?

Source: Flickr User juliecampbell