When you find out a close friend has lost a loved one, your first response may not make her feel better. Instead of consoling in a way that may not help, you'll want to field a few pointers for giving your friend the support and love she needs during this tough time — even if you can't be there
I'm coming over to ________. Take the initiative and come over to help with something. From answering her home phone and keeping track of calls to cooking dinner, helping to make life a little easier is one way to be there for your friend.
I'm so sorry. Be genuine, be heartfelt, and be honest. Offering sympathy without any add-ons is one way to share that you care, especially when you're not sure what to say.
I'm here for you: This might sound weird and maybe a bit uncomfortable, but just holding your friend's hand or sitting next to her while she's grieving is OK. Don't feel pressured to start a conversation or push for details — just be there.
Share your favorite memory: From a silly story to a special moment, memories of the deceased are good to share.
There's no time limit: If you're not sure how to respond to the news, take a step back and give it some thought. It's OK to send a short note or flowers and then offer heartfelt condolences personally when you can.
This totally sucks. Just say it. Death sucks, and the situation sucks.
I'm delivering groceries: She's probably already got a freezer full of casseroles, so order a fresh selection of produce to be delivered. Or offer to come on over and stock her shelves.
I'm going to call tomorrow. Follow up the next day and the next to let your friend know you're there for her if she needs to talk.
I love you. Simple and sweet, offering your true support to a grieving friend is helpful and healing.
Read on for more suggestions.