father

Dear Sugar,

For years I've had a deep ingrained hatred towards my so-called father. I went to therapy for two years for it, but I still have a lot of resentment built up. I've never had a real conversation with him, and I don't plan on ever having one with him in the future. I don't want to work it out because I do not want a relationship with him. Unfortunately, I have to live with him. I am currently in school and living with my family. I applied to a couple of new schools for the Spring semester, so if all goes well, I will be living on campus, but until then, I have to deal with my dad. But I can't even stand looking at him, let alone speaking to him.

My sister and my mom have told me I've been too hard on him, but I couldn't care less. He has put my family through extremely difficult circumstances, and has not once apologized for his actions. I am otherwise pretty happy with my life, except for the fact that I have to deal with him on a daily basis. I wish he would just go away, but that's not an option. Is there anything at all I can do to ease this tension?

— Bitter Brianna

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Dear Sugar,

My relationship with my father has always been rocky, since before my parents divorced 18 years ago. It has been over a year since the last time we interacted — our last correspondence was filled with nasty, hateful words through email. He's never been much of a role model or a parent to me. I think he should make the first move and put out the proverbial olive branch, but he hasn't made a move. Now there's a void in my life and it's making it very hard for me to feel emotionally well.

To be honest, I'm not even sure I want to open the lines of communication, but losing touch with my dad has pulled me apart from my much-younger sisters; they're both under 10. I miss them dearly. Is this worth repairing? What should I do to regain somewhat of a relationship with my family?

— On the Outs Olinda

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Do you remember the good old days when you believed in Santa Claus? Every year my dad and I would put golden brownies and milk by the fireplace, and I'd go to bed dreaming about what Santa was going to bring me! It wasn't until I was 7 that I found out the truth about who ate those brownies and where my gifts came from. I was devastated, but I had to keep up the charade for my little brother, who was still a believer.

It's never fun to grow up and lose faith, but it happens to all of us. So ladies, do tell: How old were you when you found out Santa wasn't real?

Source

Dear Sugar,

I have been dating my boyfriend for about six months already, and for those six months, he has basically been homeless. No, no like he's not a bum, but he lives with his single dad in their garage while their house is being constructed.

His dad has gone to great lengths to build the garage himself with bedrooms in the upper floor so they can get by until the house is complete. My problem is that I am over at my boyfriend's "house" a lot and there is only one bathroom, which is right in front of the living area and the rest of their living space. Normally I have no problem going to the bathroom there and running into his dad and random people that are over, but when we have sex, I simply just want to run to the bathroom in his T-shirt or a towel. Now I am either forced to get fully dressed and clean up, or hold it all in which I know is unhealthy. Sometimes I don't want to go through all the trouble to embarrass myself. What should I do? — I Gotta Go Gretta

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