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emily post

Rules and Etiquette For Text Messaging
digital life

4 Ways to Be a Conscientious Texter

Text messaging can be a tricky world to navigate; ignoring real life for the digital can cause offense, while failing to respond to a text may leave others furious.
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Text messaging can be a tricky world to navigate; ignoring real life for the digital can cause offense, while failing to respond to a text may leave others furious. Naturally, the experts in etiquette at the Emily Post Institute have a guide for keeping the tech-savvy public polite in their texting. Here's what you need to know to text with care.

  1. Don't text when you wouldn't call — As the Emily Post Institute says, "text messaging is not an alternative to using the phone when calling would be considered rude." If you're not taking a call during a business meeting or class, don't start texting either.
  2. Keep it on the down-low — "Don’t text-message anything confidential, private, or potentially embarrassing." There's always the chance a significant other or co-worker may be looking over your shoulder when you're checking in on a recent friend-venting session.
  3. Respect is key — Remember, no one can judge your tone on a text, therefore others might not realize when things are urgent or they might think you're handling a sensitive situation rudely. Keep all important updates including urgent business or upsetting personal news to a real phone call.
  4. Stay cool — A handy lesson, especially in the tumultuous beginnings of a new relationship: keep calm when you don't get an immediate reply from someone. You never know what they're caught up in and why they can't return your text.

Do you have any tips to improve texting etiquette? Share them in the comments!

Source: Flickr User iamtheo

Emily Post vs. Modern Day Thanksgiving Etiquette
Thanksgiving

TrèsSugar vs. Emily Post: Thanksgiving Etiquette

Emily Post published Etiquette in Society, in Business, in Politics, and at Home in 1922 and solidified her place as America's queen of domesticity.
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Emily Post published Etiquette in Society, in Business, in Politics, and at Home in 1922 and solidified her place as America's queen of domesticity. She was like the original Martha Stewart, but more tactful! Today her name and advice live on at the Emily Post Institute, but how does its advice fare in the real world. Compare her Thanksgiving advice to mine. Hers is in italics, of course.

Source: Flickr User Gabriela Camerotti

On Bringing a Dish On Attire On Pitching In On Conversation Decorum On Giving Thanks, Postparty
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Modern Wedding Invitation Etiquette
Wedding

Emily Post vs. TrèsSugar: Wedding Invitation Etiquette

Even if you're bucking most of the traditions, wedding etiquette can't be ignored — especially when it comes to the invitations.
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Even if you're bucking most of the traditions, wedding etiquette can't be ignored — especially when it comes to the invitations. With the potential for hurt feelings, unintended insults, and misunderstandings, what should be a joyous celebration can turn into a high-heel-trafficked minefield.

But that doesn't mean you have to be all Emily Post about it. I've rounded up some of the essential invite-related advice from Emily Post's wedding etiquette and offered my take. Feel free to chime in with your two cents too.

Inviting Sig-Os

  • Emily Post says: "Partners of invited guests must be included in a wedding invitation. This includes couples who are married, engaged, or living together."
  • TrésSugar says: I also have friends who are in long-term relationships but aren't living with their sig-os. In that case, I think the partners are also a must-invite. It might also help to define what "long-term" means (six months?) for you — especially if you're trying to keep the guest list small. Whether the partners get their own invitation or simply get included on your friend's invitation all depends . . .

How to Invite Couples

  • Emily Post says: "A single invitation addressed to both members of a married couple, or a couple who live together, is sent to their shared address, while invitations to an engaged or long-standing couple who don’t live together are sent separately, to each address."
  • TrésSugar says: I think if one member of the couple is a very good friend, and her partner is someone you wouldn't invite to the wedding otherwise, you should just address the invitation to your friend and list her partner's name as well. On the off chance they break up before the wedding, you don't want the ex-boyfriend showing up thinking he got his own invite.

For more modern etiquette, read more

Emily Post's Holiday Shopping Etiquette
Holiday

TrèsSugar vs. Emily Post: Last-Minute Shopping Etiquette

With one-and-a-half shopping days left 'til Christmas, things are getting tense out there.
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Emily Post's Holiday Shopping Etiquette

With one-and-a-half shopping days left 'til Christmas, things are getting tense out there. Online shopping is pretty much out of the question, so if your shopping's not done you'll need to head out into the messy Winter mix of consumerism, holiday cheer, and last-minute desperation. The Emily Post Institute has 10 tips for the modern holiday shopper, but can you follow them? We can't!

Source: Flickr User: john curley

Smile — You Can Do It Enough Don't Be a Jerk Never Practice Smiling Please, Thank You, and You're Welcome Say Anything but "Bah Humbug" Take Your Sales Clerk's Lead With Friendliness Complain to the Proper Person — or Not at All!
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Utensil Etiquette: American vs. European
Poll

What's Your Preferred Utensil Etiquette?

In her latest Table Manners column for Chow, food and drink advice writer Helena Echlin addresses the rift between European- and American-style utensil etiquette.
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In her latest Table Manners column for Chow, food and drink advice writer Helena Echlin addresses the rift between European- and American-style utensil etiquette. In the States, it's common to cut with the fork in the left hand and the knife in the right, then switch cutlery while eating. But on the other side of the pond, the "zigzag" method, as Emily Post once called it, isn't well-regarded; instead, it's de rigueur for the knife to never leave the right hand. How do you cut into a good steak?

Debate About Etiquette Classes for Children
parenting

Tell Mommy: Should We Reinstate Etiquette Classes For Tikes?

There was a time, not so long ago, when etiquette was not only taught at home, but in classes outside of school.
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There was a time, not so long ago, when etiquette was not only taught at home, but in classes outside of school. Parents sent their lil ones to seminars to learn about proper salutations, placement of eating utensils and everyday social graces. A dining experience at a restaurant recently made me wonder if our generation of parents should seek out such classes for our kids. As I watched tots of all ages running around the restaurant — some throwing food to get their parents' attention — I could only imagine what Emily Post would have said if she were alive to have witnessed the scene.

A colleague recently told me about the etiquette classes her grandmother sent her to at Lord and Taylor as a child. She learned the proper placement of silverware at the table, where to put her napkin at different points in the meal and how to excuse herself from the table. While she may have learned these nuggets at 12, she carries them with her today and tries to instill them in her preschool-aged son on a daily basis. While he still has his moments where he is almost swinging from the rafters, he knows that noodles must be eaten with a fork, rather than his fingers.

Aimee Symington recently introduced an etiquette board game, Blunders, to teach manners and polite behavior in a fun and exciting way. Would you buy it or send your child to etiquette class?

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Etiquette Past vs. Present: Introducing Your Significant Other
relationships

Etiquette Past vs. Present: Introducing Your Significant Other

I don't know about you, but when I'm dating someone, and we're in an established relationship, I like to be introduced as what I am — their girlfriend.
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I don't know about you, but when I'm dating someone, and we're in an established relationship, I like to be introduced as what I am — their girlfriend. Often times, though, men don't feel comfortable putting labels on their mate, and Emily Post agrees with this practice:

The English language may contain more words than any other, but it has yet to supply satisfactory designations for people in intimate relationships other than "husband" and "wife" and the French "fiance" and "fiancee." So begin with the introduction basics: a gracious exchange of names. Spelling out relationships in an introduction can be a distraction and may make people uneasy.

I happen to think not explaining the relationship makes things more awkward, especially for the person being introduced, but what do you think? Do you prefer to be introduced with a title that explains your relationship, or are you completely indifferent?

Source


Etiquette Past vs. Present: Taking It Personally
Poll

Etiquette Past vs. Present: Taking It Personally

We all have bad days, and I'm sure it's also safe to say that we've all taken our aggression out on people that didn't deserve it.
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We all have bad days, and I'm sure it's also safe to say that we've all taken our aggression out on people that didn't deserve it. When that happens, it's usually just the anger talking, but it's sometimes hard to decipher logic from feelings. However, Emily Post says:

Don't automatically take it personally. Sometimes the offender has had a terrible day or is simply in a bad mood. Give him the benefit of the doubt by imagining what he might be going through — the string of a recent confrontation with someone, a family problem, trouble at work, the illness of a loved one.

While all those scenarios have the ability to alter someone's mood, tell me, is not taking it personally easier said than done?

Source


Etiquette Past vs. Present: Forgetting Someone's Name
Love and Sex

Etiquette Past vs. Present: Forgetting Someone's Name

If you're forgetful by nature, I'm sure you've goofed an introduction before, or forgotten someone's name after meeting them a few times.
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If you're forgetful by nature, I'm sure you've goofed an introduction before, or forgotten someone's name after meeting them a few times. If this sounds familiar, you're in luck because Emily Post has some suggestions for the next time you're in a predicament like that!

Don't panic. Embarrassing as it may be to stumble over a name, don't fail to attempt an introduction. If the person is attentive, he may see your hesitation and cover for you by introducing himself. If the person is wearing a name tag, you might take a quick peek. Otherwise, you should apologize quickly and say that you've suddenly forgotten the person's name. Do the same if you aren't sure of someone's last name. ("I'm sorry Aileen, but I don't know your last name.") The person should fill in the blank for you. There's no need to continue apologizing for your lapse.

I like her advice, but in the heat of the moment, you might not be that quick on your feet so tell me, how do you save face when you've forgotten someone's name?

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Etiquette Past vs. Present: Talking Loudly
Poll

Etiquette Past vs. Present: Talking Loudly

I've always been a loud person — people tell me I'm missing the indoor voice gene — but according to Emily Post, booming pipes in public places isn't the most polite thing: "Keep your voice to a reasonable volume.
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I've always been a loud person — people tell me I'm missing the indoor voice gene — but according to Emily Post, booming pipes in public places isn't the most polite thing:

"Keep your voice to a reasonable volume. Public places are noisy by nature, but don't add to the din by talking louder than you must. Think of keeping your voice volume down as a personal form of public service."

This is easier said than done, especially when you're having fun with friends or family at a common place, but tell me, are you conscious of how loud you are when socializing?

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