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First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes . . . a jet-setting lifestyle, a novel and posh townhouse in London.
For Sonja Lewis, an expat in her 40s, there was never a carriage, stroller or burp cloth. Or childcare. Or school tuition. Instead, Sonja opted out of the idea that all women need children in order to be fulfilled and complete — and now wants to tell the tale.
In her new novel The Barreness, Lewis explores the fraught and emotional territory of going child-free. We called up this Georgia-born journalist and writer in her current home in London — where she happily lives with her husband—and asked her all the questions you’d be too polite to ask.
Why did you write this novel?
I guess you could say I got married late (about 37 or 38) and became obsessed with whether I would have children. And I eventually concluded that being a mother wasn’t the right thing for me.
The previous generation seemed to stereotype non-mothers as selfish, hardcore people, and I wanted to make it clear that women can be fulfilled without becoming mothers. Exploring the subject in the form of a novel gives me free range in how I approach it.
Why did you decide not to have children?
You have to consider the commitment; it’s a lifetime role. As much as I love children, when it really became a viable option for me, the financial commitment, the personal commitment, everything I had to take into consideration . . . It just didn’t make sense.
This year's March Madness has been extra mad, and this weekend brings us to the final four. Watching the series with your family is a ripe time for reminiscing your college years and experiences at your alma mater. Do you hope your children will attend your school of choice, or are you completely open to whatever colors they decide to don?
When a baby is born, parents dream of their tot's future. They envision the child talking, walking, graduating, getting married, and having offspring of their own. They assume their healthy kid will be able to reproduce, but that isn't the case for the mom and dad of a youngster fighting cancer. A recent report talked about the medical advancements that are being tested (and the lengths that doctors will go to) to preserve a prepubescent patient's fertility. 
It's hard enough to make a night out of 
Ted Cox got a vasectomy when he was 28. His mom cried, and some women won't date him, but the eldest child of seven is proud of his decision to remain childless. He says the desire to never have kids hit him in college, when he realized "instead of spending Saturday mornings watching Ted Jr. strike out at Little League games, I'd much rather watch those Japanese contestants humiliate themselves on TV." 
The mad dash to find the perfect present is on! But for parents with limited space, one big-ticket item for each kiddo may seem more appealing when it comes to storing the goods after the holidays. For moms and dads keeping to a budget, opting for a few less pricey products might be the way to go so the children have more to open on Christmas morning. When Santa drops the loot down your chimney, what will he be gifting?
