addiction

This week's confession comes from our anonymous Confession Booth group in the TrèsSugar Community. Weigh in with your advice below.

I confronted my live-in boyfriend about his drinking problem. He's having a hard time. Yesterday was his first day not drinking. I want to be there for him because it's hard for him. What else could I do to be supportive?

This is also really hard on me because he's so irritable. I explained that he shouldn't view me as the enemy, I'm on his side. He also wants to stop drinking for himself, not only because I said I would leave him. I don't want to bring up therapy unless he's having much more difficulty.

What else can I do? how can I be supportive? 

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That all-consuming, over-the-top love sounds romantic and beautiful, but this type of idealized love can be equally damaging. I think Dr. Drew Pinsky of Celebrity Rehab says it best. He has referred to love addiction as an issue for people who "mistake intensity for intimacy." We hear about substance addiction constantly, and sex addiction more and more frequently, but love addiction rarely gets radio play. The reason? There's a very blurred line between powerful romance and love addiction.

When it comes to loving relationships, do you ever worry that you're in over your head? Here are 10 questions to ask yourself if you think you're addicted to love.

1. Are you very needy when it comes to relationships?
2. Do you constantly fantasize about love? Does it get in the way of important tasks?
3. Is initial attraction your No. 1 priority when falling in love?
4. When you experience a breakup, do you feel like your life is over?
5. Are you terrified of never finding "true" love?
6. Are you willing to suffer in a relationship just to avoid separation anxiety?
7. Is love the most important thing in the world to you?
8. Do you feel an overwhelming need to check up on your partner?
9. Have you ever chased after someone who has neglected you?
10. Does the mantra "All is fair in love and war" sound eerily familiar?

If a majority of these questions hit home for you, it may be time to get honest with yourself about being in love with love. Have you ever experienced love addiction or known someone who has this recurring issue? Start the conversation and comment below.

As if your obsessive Facebook habits weren't enough, a recent study performed by Divorce Online shows that 15 percent of divorces are due to a video game addiction; that's up from 5 percent the year before. Which games are causing the most trouble in marriages? Titles like World of Warcraft, Call of Duty, and Halo were cited most often, but casual Facebook games were also a sore spot in rocky unions. What's worse, symptoms of a video game addiction can be similar to those of a drug or gambling addiction. If it sounds scary, it's because it is — seclusion, obsessive behavior, sudden weight loss or gain, lack of personal hygiene, sleep deprivation, and even child neglect can not only cause problems at home, but in professional lives and legal arenas as well.

But there is hope! Get a few tips on how to keep the love alive (and your partner safe) after the break.

Like nicotine, alcohol, or heroin, is food a habit-forming substance? New research says yes, and suggests pathological eating belongs in the category of addiction.

A recent study at Yale University claims to be the first to differentiate food addicts from mere overeaters. Before subjecting 39 women to magnetic resonance imaging, the study asked participants to complete a questionnaire designed to identify pathological eaters. When shown an image of a milkshake, those who scored high on the questionnaire also had dramatically greater neurological activity in the same regions of the brain where cravings for drugs and alcohol are experienced.

The conclusion? Among dependent eaters, "the current emphasis on personal responsibility . . . may have minimal effectiveness."

The proliferation of junk food could be part of the issue, too, as they're packed with more salt, sugar, and fat to enhance their flavors, sending more immediate messages of gratification to the brain. Where do you stand in the debate? Could you see the possibility of certain foods being habit-forming?

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

A friend of mine recently completed a rehab program and contacted me to make amends. As you might imagine, our friendship went from close, to strained, to non-existent for reasons both directly and indirectly related to her addiction. There was a straw/camel’s back situation a few years ago, which led to me completely cutting her off.

Despite that, I’m still the only friend she has left. I really want her to lead a happy and sober life. I do care about her and we have lots of good memories together from the years we were friends. But peppered throughout those years were all sorts of betrayals, drama, and negativity. My life since I cut her out has been drastically better; the people around me are people I trust and drama is rare. I guess I just don’t know where she fits into my life anymore.

I should add that when we spoke, it seemed like she was really committed to staying sober and not engaging in the other destructive behaviors that caused our friendship breakup. But you can imagine why I would be hesitant to believe that after years of lies.

I guess my question is: Is it an obligation of mine to be one of her main support systems since she doesn't have other friends? Can I be supportive of her new life without really letting her back into mine? Can people really change, not just get clean, but actually change how they interact with and treat people during rehab? Also, I’d just be interested in hearing from anyone who has gone through rehab themselves or had a friend or loved one transition to a sober life.

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it anonymously to Group Therapy for advice, and check out what else is happening in the TrèsSugar Community.

"I only learned how to text because back when I was drinking, I would get in trouble when I would call my wife and she would find out I was drinking. And then I started slurring my texts and I figured hell, I gotta quit drinking. Thank God nobody knew anything about Skype back then — I would've never stayed out of trouble!"


— Tim McGraw says his inability to text straight, along with his wife's disapproval, got him to stop drinking. Drunk dialing or texting is an embarrassing yet efficient wake-up call.

I've heard myself tell people, "I'm addicted to running," but really what I mean is I love it. I crave hitting the trails and pavement because of how good running makes me feel, both during and after a workout. I shouldn't throw my words around so lightly though, because exercise addiction is a real condition. There's a big difference between running complementing your life and running being your life.

Learn the signs of an exercise addiction when you read more

This is an excerpt from a Group Therapy question in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

My boyfriend and I just broke up because of his drinking problem. He's such an amazing person. Smart, kind, considerate, loving, fun. When he wasn't drinking he was the most amazing person I ever met. Always quick to do or say something sweet. He's had a checkered past and I knew all about it before we became bf/gf. He's turned his life around . . . except for his drinking. I've never been around an alcoholic and it's the most horrible thing ever. He is mostly an angry drunk. He turns everything around on me and tells me how horrible I am. There' s no talking to him when he gets like this, he just wants to start a fight. It would break my heart every time he would get like that. He's such a great person and then when he drinks this monster comes out. I know it's his addiction talking and not him but it doesn't make it hurt any less. I can't make him change his ways and it makes me wonder if he will ever want to change for himself.

He has told me that alcohol has ruined all of his relationships, his family, jobs, etc. It just hurts to see this has taken over his life and he can't or won't overcome it. He has been in rehab twice in his past and has been able to stay sober for months at a time. He likes to surround himself with people who are not good for him and that's how he slipped the last time. His girlfriend at the time was an alcoholic, coke-abusing stripper. Their relationship was based on drinking and partying.  It's still going to be hard to overcome his addiction surrounded by positive people but I feel as if hanging out with like-minded alcohol abusing people completely dooms any chance he has at recovery. My question here is, is it dumb of me to stick around?

Read the rest here.

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it, anonymously, to Group Therapy for advice, and check out what else is happening in the TrèsSugar Community.