YourTango

YourTango

Titanic II: 9 Things We'd Like to See This Time Around

We're happy to present this excerpt from one of our favorite sites, YourTango.

We're happy to present this excerpt from one of our favorite sites, YourTango. Find out what editors would like to see if Jack and Rose were on board again.

By now you've heard that the Titanic II, an exact replica of the doomed 1912 ocean liner, is due to set sail in 2016. Cue the Titanic-aficionado excitement! We guarantee there'll be many re-watchings of James Cameron's Titanic in the lead up to the Titanic II's voyage; after all, the movie is one of the biggest and most popular movies of the last 20 years. People either love to love it or love to hate it (we won't even get into Celine Dion's earworm theme song, "My Heart Will Go On"), but the film still has some lingering issues even us Titanic lovers can't let go of.

Here are nine things we'd like to see if the fictional Jack and Rose were on the Titanic voyage this time around.

More Irish Music. More Dancing.
The scene in the third-class steerage area with the smoking and the drinking and the ridiculously cute improvised Irish dancing is one of the best parts of the movie. More of that, please! And this time around, explain what the hell is the deal with Rose's weird, painful-looking toe stand everyone seems so impressed by.

Cool It With the Speed, Mr. Ismay
Remember the mustachioed guy who tells the kindly old captain to increase the ship's speed so it can make headlines when it gets to New York? Not a good call. Not a good call at all. Captain Smith should stand up to him and not make Titanic go any faster. That wouldn't leave out the iceberg, of course, but a good story needs some tragedy.

Cal Should Die
I hate to wish ill on any man, but if he's a straight-up abusive fictional d*ck in a movie (played by Billy Zane), I can't really say I'll lose any sleep over it. The fact that Cal steals his way into a lifeboat (women and children only, please!) and survives has always really, really aggravated me. He's a bad man. It's a sinking ship. He should get his comeuppance.

Jack, Wash Your Hair
I imagine hygiene isn't the top priority in the life of a starving artist who won his ticket on Titanic in a poker game. But Jack, does your hair have to be so dang greasy during the entire movie? Leo's lank hair is gross, and it almost detracts from his blinding golden-boy hotness. (Note: I said, "Almost.") But luckily, modern times provide ample opportunities for even Jack Dawson, the man who makes his way on "tramp steamers and such" to shampoo, rinse, and repeat.

For the rest of the article, head to YourTango: Titanic II: Nine Things We'd Like to See This Time Around

— Carrie Murphy

More from YourTango:

women

Anne Hathaway and More Stars Support International Women's Day

We're happy to present this excerpt from one of our favorite sites, YourTango.

We're happy to present this excerpt from one of our favorite sites, YourTango. Find out how A-listers join forces to aid the 66 million girls fighting to receive an education.

On Oct. 9, 2012, Malala Yousufzai was shot in the head and neck by the Taliban while she rode the bus home from school. The Pakistani 15-year-old — as well as her family — had been targeted because of her work advocating for female education in her country.

Now recovering in Britain, Yousufzai's father says he’s confident his daughter will "rise again." She won’t be alone. Anne Hathaway, Cate Blanchett, Selena Gomez, Liam Neeson, Priyanka Chopra, Chloë Moretz, Freida Pinto, Salma Hayek, Meryl Streep, Alicia Keys, and Kerry Washington have all lent their voices and support to Girl Rising, a film that follows a handful of the 66 million girls campaigning for their right to go to school.

"Even if you send me away, I will come back every day until I can stay," Wadley, a child from Haiti, tells a teacher in the movie. In theaters March 7, Girl Rising releases one day before International Women’s Day, an official holiday in Afghanistan, Russia, Uganda, Ukraine, Vietnam, and several other countries including Cambodia, where the Khmer Rouge wiped out nearly every modern advance in health care, civic life, and literacy in the 1970s.

For the rest of the article, head to YourTango: Anne Hathaway and More Stars Support International Women's Day.

— Lauren Metz.

More from YourTango:

relationships

How to Cope With Your Partner's Depression

We're happy to present this excerpt from one of our favorite sites, YourTango.


We're happy to present this excerpt from one of our favorite sites, YourTango. Find out how you can help the one you love and keep yourself happy during dark times.

It's clear to anyone who has ever experienced mental illness, whether firsthand or via a loved one, how difficult it is to maintain a healthy relationship with those involved. The rate of depression in middle aged men has gone up, leaving many marriages and relationships in terrible states. Plus, since men are less likely to have many peers around on a regular basis when they're older, they often turn to their partners for help instead. So how can we help the ones we love when they're depressed?

As someone who has experienced depression for over a decade, I can honestly say that relationships are one of the hardest obstacles to tackle. With family, it's easier to feel secure in knowing they'll still be family, through and through, regardless of how unhappy and withdrawn you become. Although your relationship with them might become strained, it's still a much more established bond.

When it comes to romantic relationships, however, the pair of you are less able to feel comfortable and safe in your existence as a pair. Even if you've been together a long time, it still might not be or feel unconditional, giving the depression an even larger breeding ground on which to fester anxieties and insecurities — thus deepening the sadness.

One of the most important things to do if your partner is experiencing depression is to expand his support group, especially by helping him gain more friends. But this is not easy to do, considering we can only try to influence the actions of others, not perform them ourselves in their place.

Licensed Clinical Social Worker Julia Flood says, "We only have control over ourselves. But that's actually good news. The real issue we're having may be along the lines of: 'I feel over-burdened by being the sole source of nurturing and/or entertainment for you, dear husband, and I need a break from the caregiver role I have been taking on for you. I am not getting my needs met, and I would like to spend more time with my friends, however I feel guilty about this, because the message I am receiving is that this is not okay with you.'"

When it comes to actually helping your partner's depression, it can be extremely difficult to determine the best option. Start, instead, by asking what's wrong and not simply making it about you. Says Flood, "As far as what actually would help people move through depression — rather than asking him to change, start by being fully present with him in his depression."

Ensuring that he knows your undivided attention and focus are on him may help those depressed feelings come up to the surface, making them more clear to you — and even to him, perhaps.

For the rest of the article, head to YourTango: How To Cope With Your Partner's Depression.

— Samantha Escobar.

More from YourTango:

relationships

How Sleeping Around Saved My Relationship

We're happy to present this excerpt from one of our favorite sites, YourTango.


We're happy to present this excerpt from one of our favorite sites, YourTango. Rather than break up, one couple chose to "open up." Now they're more in love than ever.

I was 24 and living with my boyfriend when I had what I'd call a quarter-life crisis. Greg and I had been dating for four years when suddenly it hit me: I needed to experience other men. I wasn't just curious; I was also afraid that I'd be 80 one day and regret not having experimented or explored my sexuality. I didn’t want to cheat, so I considered a breakup. But it was so hard; I still loved my boyfriend.

I decided just to talk to Greg. I told him that I was interested in being with other guys physically. We had talked about marriage and monogamy before and both agreed that it would be tough to sleep with one person for the rest of our lives, so I knew we were on the same page to some extent. But that was a purely hypothetical conversation. This was real and present.

After a long talk, he agreed that an open relationship would be worth a try. Of course he was nervous about it — I'd say he gave me a yellowish-green light at that point. To reassure us both, we set some ground rules:

  1. No sex with other people in our apartment.
  2. Take a shower immediately after a hookup.
  3. No dates; no dinners. Our encounters with other people had to be superficial and strictly physical.
  4. Hit it and quit it. Have sex and get out of there (no cuddling!).
  5. Talking on the phone and texting was only allowed if it involved sex.
  6. Try to plan ahead. If I knew I was going out to try to meet someone, I should give him a heads up (and vice versa).

I had a lot of friends who didn't quite get it. One friend told me it was messed up and I should just break up with Greg and move on. He suggested that this kind of situation is not even a "real" relationship, and that Greg is just a "pretend" boyfriend as long as I'm sleeping with other guys. I considered the idea, but it just wasn't true. There was no part of me that wanted Greg to be my ex. I didn't want to move on from him, even if some our friends thought that was best for us both. We knew better.

Excited by the new terms, I dove right in; didn't bother dipping my toe. About a week later I met a guy through mutual friends, and we hooked up that night. Immediately I felt guilty. It was 6am by the time I got home, and Greg was still asleep. I started thinking about saying those words out loud — I had sex with someone else — and it felt awful. When he finally woke up, he could tell I was upset. I told him I'd slept with another guy. Greg held me. He said I shouldn't be scared and that he understood.

For the rest of the article, head to YourTango: How Sleeping Around Saved My Relationship.

— Amelia Mularz.

More from YourTango:

YourTango

Top 5 Mistakes Men Make in Bed

We're happy to present this excerpt from one of our favorite sites, YourTango.

We're happy to present this excerpt from one of our favorite sites, YourTango. Today we're looking at the classic bedroom faux pas men make.

There are a lot of misconceptions about sex and sexuality, particularly when it comes to women. Understandably, men might be confused.

Unfortunately, many men end up misinformed about how to please their female partners. As a therapist with more than 25 years of experience, I know that many women endure unsatisfying sex lives without speaking up. And in fairness to all the great men out there, if women don't start talking, how are men supposed to know what to do?

Sure, there are many great lovers out there, and there are no rules that apply to everyone. Still, there are some basic ground rules that apply to most women. So in the spirit of helping couples have better sex and better relationships, here are the top five mistakes men make in bed and what they can do differently:

  1. Assuming that women do not have the same sex drive as men. Don't believe for a minute that women don't like sex or don't want sex as much as men. While there are certainly individual differences with both genders, women love sex and want sex.

    They just don't want bad sex. So if your girlfriend or wife is turning you down, the first thing to ask is how can you make it better for her, not how you can get her to take better care of satisfying your sexual needs.

  2. Heading straight for her genitals. A woman enjoys the pleasure of her entire body being touched and caressed. She enjoys being kissed and seduced. She especially enjoys feeling the anticipation of finally arriving "down there." Take the time to work your way slowly down a woman's entire body.

For the rest of the article, head to YourTango: Top Five Mistakes Men Make in Bed.

— Julie Orlov.

More from YourTango:

YourTango

Kristen Bell Terrified of Childbirth, Wants Whiskey and Epidural!

We're happy to present this excerpt from one of our favorite sites, YourTango.

We're happy to present this excerpt from one of our favorite sites, YourTango. Today we're gleaning some wisdom on love from America's most iconic advice columnist.

For some, childbirth is a lovely miracle. For others, it's just down right scary. It's definitely the latter for actress Kristen Bell.

The star, who is pregnant with fiancé Dax Shepard, appeared on Ellen this week (and it will air Thursday) and opened up about how she believes she'll feel on her way to the hospital come Spring.

"I feel like, when I arrive at the hospital, I want a glass of whiskey, I want the epidural in my back and I want to get hit in the face with a baseball bat and wake me up when it's over," she said to the talk show host. "I've seen the videos — and it looks terrifying!"

Promoting her upcoming film The Lifeguard at Sundance last week, the star also told Entertainment Weekly that she's not sure if she's prepared for the changes to her body and her life. "This is without question the biggest transition I'll make in my life to date."

For the rest of the article, head to YourTango: Kristen Bell Terrified of Childbirth, Wants Whiskey and Epidural!.

— Emily Longeretta.

More from YourTango:

Advice

In Memoriam: The Best Love Advice From "Dear Abby"

We're happy to present this story from one of our favorite sites, YourTango.

We're happy to present this story from one of our favorite sites, YourTango. Today we're gleaning some wisdom on love from America's most iconic advice columnist.

Her name was Pauline Friedman Phillips, but you might better recognize her as "Dear Abby."

She wrote under the byline Abigail Van Buren for almost 50 years, offering answers to some of our most compelling questions about everything from smelly spouses to disastrous dates. She went by Abby among family and friends (plus 90 million or so devoted readers) her entire life and she died last week at the age of 94.

Phillips started out as an advice columnist back in 1956 when she was a stay-at-home mom of two. She contacted the editors at the San Francisco Chronicle after reading an advice column that ran in the paper, boasting that she could do a much better job.

"They gave her a bunch of letters, thinking that they would never see her again — and she immediately took all of the letters to my dad's nearby office and whipped out answers and had answers back the same day," her son, Eddie Phillips, told Good Morning America. "That knocked them off their feet."

Even though she stopped writing some time ago (she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease), her legacy lived on in her daughter, Jeanne Phillips, who took over the column in 2002. The columnist was always modest about her star status as a writer, which is what made her so relatable as America's most iconic advice columnist.

"I don't pretend to be an authority on journalism or on human relations," Phillips said. "I just happen to be a very happy, a very healthy, a very lucky young woman with a fascinating hobby."

In honor of Abby, dug up some of her best words of wisdom on love and relationships — and some of them are real zingers!

community

Restoration-Era Sex Manual Is Finally on Sale

We're happy to present this excerpt of a story from one of our favorite sites, YourTango.

We're happy to present this excerpt of a story from one of our favorite sites, YourTango. A formerly banned sex book called Aristotle's Compleat Master-Piece is being auctioned.


You know how the Victorian era was all fainting couches and chastity belts? Evidently, the Restoration era* was off the chain.

Per The Guardian, a book called Aristotle's Compleat Master-Piece is now being brought to auction. While the book was originally published in an era best referred to as the Restoration, around 1680, the copy in question was produced somewhere in the neighborhood of 1760 in the so-called Georgian era.

Art, architecture and smut (fine, pornography and erotica) has coexisted since the first cave bro sketched a spear going from his crotch into a cave woman's crotch rather than from his hand into a mastodon's keister. Tell me that pyramids don't remind you of early man trying to cover his turgidity with a gauzy linen sheet.

What separates Aristotle's Compleat Master-Piece is that it's a sex guide with a conscience. Aimed at helping out midwives and young couples, the book insists women ought to climax to conceive. Then it goes on to mention that children conceived by sinning parents may be born deformed. While neither thing is strictly true, many experts believe orgasms aid in conception and if sinning means smoking crack, riding rollercoasters or not taking folic acid, then yeah, birth defects are possible.

As English people's collective sphincters began puckering over anything gynecological (or phallic or mammarian), the book was banned for a couple hundred years ending in 1961. If you happen to be in Scotland on January 16th, the Lyon & Turnbull auction house will ready to move this 350-year-old dandy.

*The Restoration lasted from the late 1650s to the late 1680s.

— Tom Miller

More from YourTango:

Advice

7 Places to Meet Singles in 2013

We're happy to present this excerpt of a story from one of our favorite sites, YourTango.

We're happy to present this excerpt of a story from one of our favorite sites, YourTango. Today we're checking out hot spots for meeting singles.

Do you ever sit around wondering why you haven't been on a date in ages? You think, how come my dating life isn't going anywhere? I am willing to bet that if you got off your cute little butt and put some effort into meeting other singles, you would find some dates. And seeing as it's the New Year, consider making a commitment to go out and meet more singles as one of your New Year's resolutions.

For starters, get out your calendar and schedule at least three activities or events per month. To ensure the greatest chance of getting actual dates, choose at least two events that are specifically geared toward singles. Many people make the mistake of attending a group only once, but you'll want to frequent the same group over and over again so people begin to recognize you. Finally, go alone so you will have to get out of your shell and meet more people.

Here are some places to meet other single people:

  1. Go to a bar or pub. One of the easiest places to meet people is at a neighborhood bar or pub. Do not have more than one drink. In fact, it would be better to sip a club soda so you are totally present. Witness your fears and inhibitions as they arise. Do you go for the person you are most attracted to or do shy away? Do you wait to be noticed by others or do you send out signals that you are interested? Are you judging people and looking for their flaws? What if you looked around the room and focused on what is attractive about each person instead?
  2. Join a dance class. Salsa and ballroom dancing classes are an especially good way to meet people. When you get moving, you naturally are in a better mood. Dancing is also a great way to connect with your body and your sensuality. A metaphor for relationships, dancing teaches men how to take the lead, and it helps women feel more comfortable letting a man take the lead. Dancing will also get you out of your head and help you flow with the moment, a skill that comes in handy when you're on an actual date.
  3. Go for a hike. You can join a group like Sierra Club Singles or go alone and see if you can engage other people on the trail. Hiking is a great way to combine exercising with meeting other people. For some people, parties and meet-up groups can feel too sterile. Doing an activity can create an environment where meeting people feels more natural. Start by just smiling and saying hello to people. Eventually, you might say, "Mind if I walk with you awhile?" If you like someone, you might ask if they would like to meet again for another hike.
  4. For the rest of the article, head to YourTango: Seven Places to Meet Singles in 2013

    — Lisa Shield

    More from YourTango:

community

6 Ways the Internet Changed Dating

We're happy to present this excerpt of a story from one of our favorite sites, YourTango.

We're happy to present this excerpt of a story from one of our favorite sites, YourTango. Today, we learn how being connected may have changed your love life.

A startup called FreedomPop recently launched a free 4G wireless service for email and basic web surfing, making 24/7 access to friends and loved ones easier than ever. Just like Google has affected our relationships, the Internet has greatly altered our love lives even more so. Let's look at how being connected influences modern dating, for better or for worse.

  1. We're meeting partners online. The service that connects us to people we know has also taken on the role of worldwide matchmaker. Today, one in five couples meet online. And, we're not just finding potential partners on the Internet, we're talking to them virtually, dating them, falling in love, and even proposing online too. While online dating may not be any better than meeting someone at a bar, many people are still giving digital love a shot. A recent study by MBAPrograms.org found 49 million people search for love each month on eHarmony and Match.com alone. And those are just 2 of the estimated 1,500 online dating sites out there.
  2. We can video chat. Remember when we used to spend hours on the phone? It's almost hard to believe that's how couples communicated before the web. Now, we can see who we're chatting with in realtime on Google Hangouts, Facebook, Skype, FaceTime, you name it. More intimate than a regular phone call, video chats make couples and even strangers feel like they're with each other whether they're at opposite ends of a city or a country.
  3. We can talk any time. Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, Skype, Google, Foursquare, LinkedIn, Instagram — think about all of the online accounts you have (if you can remember). The Internet makes us always available. Sure, you can let your email pile up over the week or your Facebook notifications go unnoticed, but doesn't it create some distress or anxiety when you're not tuned in? The second we exchange any of our usernames with someone new, we instantly have the ability to connect with them. What's tricky is deciding how much or how little to communicate now that you have access to someone pretty much all the time. Which accounts do you follow and when?

For the rest of the article, head to YourTango: 6 Ways the Internet Changed Dating

— Michelle Toglia

More from YourTango: