trust

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

I know this sounds like something a teenager would write, but here it goes anyway. I'm heading out of town for the weekend to visit my folks and other members of my family for a reunion. Unfortunately, my boyfriend can't get the time off work and will have to stay at our place alone. We've been together almost 4 years and I love him very much, but we've had some trouble in the past, which has left me with some trust issues. I've gotten better, as nothing has happened in a very long time, but I can't help but wonder if leaving him home alone for a weekend is going to give him "free reign" to do whatever he likes with no way for me to find out.

I want to talk to him about it but that's part of my issue. Last time I thought something was happening behind my back, I talked it over with him and he assured me that everything was fine and that he would never hurt me, but I found out about a month later that he cheated on me. We were separated for a while, talked things over, and he confessed he made a mistake and made a sincere apology so we eventually got back together.

Long story short, I'm unfortunately still insecure and feel that if I talked to him about it, he would just assure me that things will be fine. I'm going to enjoy my weekend no matter what, but what can I do to feel better about trusting him alone? Thanks in advance.

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Source Code

Jake Gyllenhaal stars in this sci-fi action film about a soldier who wakes up on a train in the body of someone else. He quickly finds that he's on a mission to find a bomber who has blown up the train in an alternate timeline, and he gets eight minutes to try each time until he locates the terrorist. I was enthralled by the action and plot of this movie — rent it if you need a slick entertaining thrill ride. The extras on the DVD include a commentary track with the director and Gyllenhaal and cast interviews.

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Trust

David Schwimmer directed this drama about a family who's impacted by an online predator. Clive Owen stars as Will, the father of a teen, Annie, who starts a relationship with a guy she meets online. When they meet, Annie quickly learns that her Internet paramour is a lot older than she thought — and has sinister intentions. Will starts his own investigation when he's dissatisfied by the police's action. The DVD extras include outtakes and a behind-the-scenes featurette.

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This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

I have been dating my boyfriend for 3 years. We went through our rough patch last summer (almost a year ago); he told me he wanted a break because we were fighting a lot, and as any girl would, I had to make sure it wasn't because of another woman, and he assured me it wasn't.

Although it was a really hard time for me, we got through it and have really improved our relationship. I'm really happy, and we planned to move in together in Aug. Yesterday he left his ipod at my house, which gave me access to his email. I looked through it and didn't find anything in the inbox, but when I went to sent, he forgot to delete a few from a girl co-worker. A lot of them were sent when he was under the influence, but some were replied to when he was sober. The emails were disgusting; they made my stomach turn. He called her the names he called me, and I just couldn't believe the sexual things he said to her; I'm still in a state of shock.

I immediately called him at work and told him it was over and told him I found the emails from the girl (then he told me she was just a friend and helped him get through the breakup last summer). I love him beyond belief and still can't believe he did this to me; he's devastated. The emails were sent a few weeks before he broke up with me, and he told me it was just a time in our relationship where he wasn't feeling wanted anymore, which is understandable — we all go through that especially after 2 1/2 years together, so I partially blame myself for it leading to this. He says it never ever went past email, and they never physically hooked up. He said after we took our break he realized that girl was nothing but an object, which I completely understand because I have also been in his position. But I just can't get over the words he said. I wish I would've never ever opened the email, but I had to know.

I never thought this would happened to me, and now the ball is in my court, and I don't know what to do with it. He says if I forgive him, he would spend the rest of his life making it up to me, but I just don't know. Do I let the guy I love go over something like this, or do I forgive him and try to move past it?

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Source: Flickr User easonlam

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

My boyfriend and I have been together for a couple of years and have a generally great relationship. We have lots of fun together and have a great connection, but we do have our occasional arguments. The arguments we do have are usually about important issues that we are constantly working on to resolve and have a better understanding of one another.

Whenever we do have an argument or a fight about one of these issues, my boyfriend immediately gets a hold of his brother (usually via IM) and goes on a rant about me. It really bothers me that he feels the need to tell his brother about all of the negative things about me, and it makes me feel like I'm just getting thrown under the bus. 

I never go running to any of my friends or family every time I get mad at him, because I do not think it is fair to talk bad about him to the other people I care about. I don't want to portray a bad image of him to others, and I think there needs to be some sort of privacy in a relationship, especially regarding issues that we have between us.

I'm not really sure how to handle this. Part of me is worried that if I do bring this concern up, he will then go running to his brother and tell him all about this too. Should I just roll with it and learn to accept the fact that he needs to consult his brother about everything? I really just hope his family and friends don't start to get the wrong picture of me. It makes me very sad.

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This question comes from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

So the other day I got my computer back from my bf and he was still logged onto his Facebook. So I was bad and I went and snooped and found something I didn't want to see. He had messaged this girl saying how he and I were not dating anymore because it got too complicated.  

He did this on our 9 month. I was shocked and I don't know how to bring it up with out him getting mad about me snooping. I just don't know what to do. I'm scared that he's lying to me about a lot. And then I saw him text this girl saying I'm hanging out with family when he was hangin out with me so I don't know.

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David Schwimmer (yep, that David Schwimmer) is debuting his new film Trust at the Toronto Film Festival next month, but here's your first look. Clive Owen and Catherine Keener star as parents of a teenage girl who befriends a fellow kid online — or so they're led to believe. Viola Davis also appears as the daughter's therapist. With such a solid cast of actors, this should be a gripping thriller, right? Then, why does it look like a tired made-for-TV movie?! See what I mean when you read more