We're happy to present this excerpt from one of our favorite sites, HowAboutWe. Tired of dating? Follow these steps to deal with the burn-out.
Look, I get it. You’re doing everything you can. You’re dating online, you say yes to any and all party invites, you’ve gone to every trivia night this godforsaken city has to offer. You believe your next Beloved is out there, but the process of finding him or her…lord, it’s just so exhausting. I sympathize, as I have ridden the dark, surging wave we call dating burn-out. If you’re like me and have reached a point where dating has ceased to be fun, and has turned into a grueling slog across an arid desert of small talk and apathetic text exchanges, here are some suggestions that I have found helpful to heal thyself of dating burn-out:
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1. Give Yourself a Deadline.
There is a certain brand of insanity that infects the human brain and convinces intelligent people that if they aren’t actively trying to locate their next boyfriend/girlfriend/earth mate, they will end up forever alone. This is hogwash and I blame the magazine industry. As part of your burn-out recovery, do not even think about dating for the rest of this [week, month, sentence, whatever amount of time feels good to you]. The fact is, you will not miss out on the love of your life by taking some time to get your poor exhausted mind right. Nay, it is only by getting your mind right that you will be able to be excited about dating again! Pick a date in your Google Calendar somewhere in the future, start your break from dating and just…
2. Give Up.
Well, not give up give up. I used to be baffled when I heard people say, “I’m taking a break from dating.” How does someone take a break from finding love, I wondered? Aren’t most of us hardwired to constantly seek out affection and companionship? Does the sun take a break from shining? Does a double rainbow take a break from being amazing? Such is Mango. (Side note: Do people still remember Chris Kattan as SNL’s Mango? As a follow-up question, should they? Please discuss.) When I say “give up,” I guess what I’m saying is “temporarily give up the immense expenditure of romantic mental energy that has lead to your dating burn-out.” All the Facebook stalking, all the lingering eye contact at bars, all of the fantasizing: just stop for a bit, alright? I’m not saying blow off a cool person if you meet him/her. I’m saying stop all the behavior that constitutes “dating” unless that behavior is “actually interacting with a real person.” Which leads me to another important aspect of overcoming dating burn-out…
3. Stop Trying to Look Good.
Truly the most fun part of your recuperation! What it is you feel like you “need” to do in order to be attractive to potential romantic partners, knock it off, just for a bit. Venture outside with your eyes unlined, even if you’re 100 percemt certain it makes you look like a human-turtle hybrid. Embrace your neckbeard, and let your neckbeard embrace you. Grow those eyebrows together, wear the same shirt two days in a row (provided only one of them is a work day) and let the shlumpadinka that you normally trap below a layer of concealer and/or cologne loose on the city. If you aren’t dressing to impress, you can mentally focus on something other than impressing. That is to say, letting it all hang out is a helpful way to let your brain reset from “constant dating” mode. Another great way to reset?
For more tips, head to HowAboutWe: How To Deal With Dating Burn-Out
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