Sexuality

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Like most women, I have no shame in admitting that I find other females attractive. I have even admitted to being open to experimentation ("Of course I would sleep with Halle Berry! It's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity"). For women, it's perfectly acceptable to be a little bi-curious (cue every male fantasy), and according to the latest research, it's the norm.

A new study reveals that women's sexual preferences tend to be a gray area (yep, identity confusion wasn't just for those college dorm days). In fact, researchers at Boise State University found that in a group of heterosexual women, 60 percent were sexually attracted to other women, 45 percent had kissed a woman, and 50 percent had fantasies about the same sex.

I fall into that 60 percent.

Sometimes when I catch myself staring at a beautiful woman in the grocery store, I wonder about my own sexuality. I'm not supposed to like girls! (At least according to society.) Would I date a woman? I'm not sure, but I am attracted to the beauty of other women — and they're so much easier to understand psychologically than men. We girls form deep relationships through friendships, which some say are the basis of love. And personally I believe that emotional connection and physical attraction are linked — i.e., guys tend to get cuter in our eyes if they're genuinely nice.

To find out more, visit YourTango: Study: Women Get More Bisexual As They Grow Older

Written by Jessica Cruel for YourTango.

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This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

I recently started seeing someone (of the opposite sex) and for the first time in years, it's actually going well. After years of questioning, I have recently come to the conclusion, through therapy and several "ah-ha! moments" that I am bisexual. While this isn't really a problem for me personally, my boyfriend is very Catholic and very conservative. My question is how do I tell him, or should I?

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it anonymously to Group Therapy for advice, and check out what else is happening in the TrèsSugar Community.

Listen closely: that's the sound of male fantasies all over the country being shattered. Although the image of young, experimental coeds hooking up in dorm rooms is so popular it has its own name — LUG, or lesbian until graduation — a new study by the CDC all but debunks that stereotype.

The study, which looked at the sexual behavior and activities of over 13,000 15- to 44-year-olds, finds that college-educated women are actually the least likely to have had a same-sex experience; women without a high school diploma are the most likely.

But before we jump to the conclusion that same-sex coed encounters are a figment of overactive frat-boy imaginations, consider one more factor: the same study in 2002 showed that education had no impact on a woman's sexual experimentation. The difference in this year's study, in fact, is that more non-college-educated women are admitting to same-sex experiences, not that fewer undergrads are.

It's hard to pinpoint exactly what's going on here: Was the concept of LUGs overblown in the first place? Are non-college-educated women just becoming more comfortable with admitting to experimentation, as society becomes more accepting of it? Share your thoughts — and anecdotal evidence, if you have it — below.

This question comes from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

I have a fantasy of hooking up with a girl. Not just kissing but being naked and going all the way. The problem is that my boyfriend, who I've been in a relationship with for years, thinks of it as cheating if I even so much as kissed another girl. I have a friend who is very curious as well, but her boyfriend says the same thing. I wouldn't want to ruin the friendship anyway, but I don't know what to do about these thoughts that keep plaguing my mind.

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it, anonymously, to Group Therapy for advice, and check out what else is happening in the TrèsSugar Community.

Friends don't let friends drive drunk be gay. At least, not if the American College of Pediatricians has anything to do with it. The splinter group, which broke away from the much larger American Academy of Pediatrics in 2002 after disagreements over homosexual parenting, is urging schools to respond to homosexual tendencies and gender confusion with skepticism and/or reorientation therapy. In the words of ACP President Thomas Benton:

"If I was aware that my teenage son was thinking about getting drunk and operating a car, I'd do everything in my power to prevent him from doing that. . . . [Schools] should provide an environment that is safe for all children, but they shouldn't promote an agenda. They shouldn't say, 'Let's have a coming-out party.' "

Warns the ACP in a letter to school superintendents last month, just because a kid has homosexual tendencies at 12 doesn't mean he or she will turn out gay by 25; prematurely labeling teens could steer them "into harmful homosexual behaviors they otherwise would not pursue."

The ACP makes homosexuality out to be a consequence of peer pressure, but coming out is a huge deal — not something many teens take lightly. While it's true that teenagers often engage in same-sex experimentation — sexual urges start to surface around age 10 — most experts agree that sexual orientation can't be altered by therapy.

It takes time before a teen fully comes to terms with his or her sexual orientation. So what should parents do in the meantime? Keep an open mind and try not to pass judgment one way or the other. Says Caitlin Ryan, director of the Family Acceptance Project, "we tell parents and families that they need to provide a supportive environment for their children before they know who they'll become."

I'd say that's pretty great advice when it comes to — well, pretty much anything. Except maybe drunk driving.