Well my girlfriend and I have been together just over two years now. We don't have sex anymore and when we did it was once a month and I think I have fallen out of love with her. I am 26 she is 32. She has always been rather uninterested in sex and romance for that matter. I am a very sexual person and want to explore that to the fullest extent. She won't even let me kiss her properly and when my hands travel, I get the "I'm not in a mood" talk. Well one day I just opened my eyes and maybe realized that I am just this friend that she loves! I am heartbroken because she says she doesn't want to leave me and that she loves me. I just don't know what to do now. I feel stuck and I cannot even stand to tell her I love her and I shamely cringe at her hugs. I need some quick advice. I just spend my days reading and dreaming about what others have and my so lonely life right now.
Today a headline on the Daily Mail article reads "Sex? Most Women Would Rather Have a Good Sleep, Says a Mother in a Confession That Will Strike a Chord With Millions." Let's forget how ridiculously long the headline is and ask this: does it mean "most women" or "most mothers?"
Though it attributes the statement to a mother, I imagine many people read "Sex? Most Women Would Rather Have a Good Sleep" and move on. Once you read the article, you realize all evidence is purely anecdotal and from mothers who make statements like "I still enjoy sex (when convinced to have it)," and "It is one of life's ironies that children murder the very process that conceived them in the first place."
I don't blame these moms — I'd say it's universally accepted that sex after kids is difficult — and I'm not even dissing the article, which talks to several women struggling with low libidos. My problem is the headline stating "most women," because it perpetuates the women-are-frigid stereotype.
So let's do our own unscientific study. If you're childless, would you prefer a good night's sleep or a good night of sex?
I don't want it often. Maybe, every few weeks, I'll want it a fair amount, about 2-3 times a week. But, then . . . I don't want it again. It can be up to about a month where I don't want to have sex with my boyfriend. We've been together for 6 years. We love each other so much. He gets frustrated when I hit my not-turned-on patch, and I hate rejecting him, and I know it hurts him. Emotionally . . . everything is amazing. Sexually, we've always had some difficulty.
Sometimes it hurts when we have sex, due to me being too tight. Believe me, we've tried everything. Apparently that won't be fixed until after I have kids, according to my gynecologist, which I can deal with. Sex is OK, but foreplay is amazing. We both agree on that topic. So, there's no loss there.
Get the rest after the jump!
I have been married for 5 years and my husband and I both love each other so much and believe we are soul mates/meant to be/ and do not wish to be with any other person ever.
Problem is I have sexual aversion disorder. This means I have no desire to have sex with him. I don't even ever want to kiss, cuddle, caress, basically anything that may lead to sex. It's pretty much a form of anxiety. I hate to see nudity/sex on tv, say any sexual words (dirty talking), and never feel horny.
So for 5 years we have been having sex pretty much every day but I hate it. And he hates it because he knows I hate it. Everything else in our relationship is perfect. We are both Christians so we feel it is wrong to divorce plus we don't want to divorce because other than the sex issue, we are in love and want to be with each other forever. He has dealt with this for 5 years so he seriously does want to stay with me and I want to stay with him.
I used to just deal with it and did not care that sex sucked, but now I want to have good sex, feel passionate, basically feel like I have to have that person now and rip each others clothes off!
Is it possible? Read the rest here.
Today's question: I find myself wanting sex more when I’m menstruating. Is that normal? And how do I avoid potentially making my partner feel turned off?
To see Dr. Glickman's advice read more.
Today's question: I have a great new boyfriend and although it’s only been six months, we’ve really connected and I know what direction the relationship seems to be heading. The only problem is the bedroom, where everything has been terrible. I consider myself adventuresome sexually and from what I’ve been told or read I have a high libido. I consider sex to be a very important part of any successful relationship and previously could never have imagined that I would be in relationship where the sex was anything less than amazing. I’m sure I’ve been spoiled in the past. When I think about it I feel ashamed that I could be so critical and seemingly shallow to a man that has said he loves me when I may be starting to feel the same way.
To see Dr. Glickman's answer, read more.
Sometimes we're just not in the mood for sex, but a persistent lack of sexual desire is a bigger issue. Numerous factors can contribute to low libido, including common prescription drugs.
If you've been battling a weak libido, maybe your meds are to blame. To see which drugs can decrease a woman's sex drive, read more
My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and are very happy together and have a very satisfying sex life. The only problem is that I want sex more often than he does. I don't think his drive is abnormally low; mine has never been this high before . . . there's just something about him that I find irresistible and I want him all the time! The problem is that when I am in the mood and he's not, it hurts my feelings and I start feeling like he's not attracted to me (I have gained ~10 lbs since we got together, total 25 lbs in the past 3 years, I'm working on it but feel insecure about my body at times). I also wonder if there's some emotional needs that aren't being fulfilled for me in the bedroom. . . . I love kissing and taking it slow sometimes but he tends to rush it along.
Anyone else in a similar situation? How can I stop from getting my feelings hurt when he turns me down? I try to think about how I would feel if he initiated and I said no and he got pouty . . . I would be mad!! I just cant help feeling hurt and rejected. We just moved in together and I asked him if there was anything about our relationship that he could see being a problem and he said our different sex drives, so I really want to work on it.
Attention users of the pill: according to a new study, women who use hormonal contraceptives are at a higher risk for sexual problems. The German study, published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, evaluated over 1,000 women using various birth control methods; the pill, the ring, and condoms were most popular. Most of the women involved in the study were in a stable, monogamous relationship for at least six months. Researchers found that nearly 33 percent of the women were at risk for female sexual dysfunction, including lack of orgasm, desire, satisfaction, arousal and lubrication.
Women using nonhormonal contraceptives experienced the least dysfunction. Women using non-oral hormonal contraceptives — like the ring— were at highest risk, followed closely by those using oral hormonal contraceptives. Researchers can't explain the exact connection between hormonal contraception and dysfunction, but cite one possibility: oral contraceptives have been found to reduce circulating levels of androgens, perhaps leading to low circulating levels of testosterone, the hormone needed to trigger desire.
How do you feel about this study? Do the findings mirror your experiences with birth control?
The Pill has done many things for women during its 50 year history. It can regulate periods, get rid of cramps, help our skin, and of course, prevent pregnancy on demand. But it also has side effects for some, including mood swings and a low libido.
A new and extensive study out of Germany offers proof that women who take hormonal contraceptives have a higher risk of Female Sexual Dysfunction (FSD), which often translates to a low sex drive. That's one way to decrease the risk of pregnancy. Other factors, including stress and the nature of the relationship, can lead to FSD, but now there is scientific evidence that birth control like the pill can kill a woman's libido.
Based on your experience with hormonal birth control, do these results seem obvious?