We like to think the Jersey Shore is our cultural compass for all things Jersey, but how could we forget the Real Housewives of the Garden State? They may be mostly married, but they don't talk like they are!
We defined some of the harder-to-understand Jersey Shore words and phrases last season, yet the real New Jersey is illuminated when you take both shows and create a guide to Jersey slang.
Blowout: It's not dirty. Just the primping ritual of a guido prepping for a night out creeping. To get the look men blow-dry hair while brushing it upwards and slathering on gel. See Pauly D.
Fresh to death: An oxymoron, yes, but the three best words to describe "the hottest of the hot and trendiest of the trendy."
Stage five clinger: Someone who becomes excessively attached in the early phase of dating.
Kim: A woman over 40 who lives in New Jersey. Named for the excessive number of women named Kim in the second season of the Real Housewives of New Jersey.
Invite entire family, wear leopard to Real Housewives of New Jersey party — BuzzSugar
Sex advice from polyamorists — Nerve
5 ways Conan's 60 Minutes interview is like a romantic breakup — PopSugar TV
The careers models aspired to as kids — The Frisky
Would you rather have your dream job or dream man?
The Real Housewives of New Jersey returns tonight for a new season of major drama! I fully plan on plopping down on my couch this evening to suck it all in, but then I started thinking — isn't this sort of girl-fighting fun something that is best shared? So, I've created a whole party plan to turn tonight's premiere into a full-scale event with your friends. Print it out to get you ready (and share your own ideas in the comments)!
Who to invite: Your best friend, her cousin, her cousin's cousin, her cousin's cousin niece — you get the idea. It's all about family and friends. The key is the more the merrier. Oh, except for Danielle. Do not invite anyone named Danielle.
Dress code: Think halter tops, leopard, bandage dresses — anything to show off your bubbies.
Table setting: Er, flipped over? Yeah, perhaps you're better skipping an overly formal table setting, as it's sure to end up on the floor. Here's a tip: plastic plates and cups are less likely to shatter.
Does reality TV have Jersey fever or what? Jersey Shore and Jerseylicious may have been satisfying our quotient in recent months, but on May 3, we'll return to the ladies who started the whole TV craze: The Real Housewives of New Jersey.
I've been dying to see where the drama picks up ever since last season's infamous Teresa table-throwing incident left my jaw on the floor. As you might expect, the women still haven't cooled their jets, and the battle between Teresa and Danielle rages on. In this new promo, we get a glimpse of the cat fighting that is to come. Danielle is not backing down, as she takes a few swings in a boxing ring and says, "It only takes one good smack to the head to make a person never walk again." Who turned this into the Jerry Springer Show?!
Also watch for a peek of the Giudices on a family vacation in Venice, Italy. You know that's just going to be a hilarious setup.
Check out this preview, and tell me if you'll be tuning in when you read more
If you've been watching the Real Housewives of New Jersey, you might feel bad for housewife Jacqueline. Her sister-in-law Dina is no fan of Jacqueline's friend Danielle, a seemingly harmless but lost single mom with younger boyfriends and a sordid, perhaps criminal, past. And Danielle is no fan of Dina's.
I can tell Jacqueline doesn't want to abandon her friend, who has few people she can trust, but she also doesn't want to be on her sister-in-law's bad side. On last night's episode, Jacqueline revealed her temporary solution: she's imposing a no trash-talking-my-family rule while she's in Danielle's company. Still, I think it won't be long before Jacqueline has to give up her friendship with Danielle if she doesn't want to risk a riff in the family.
Have you ever had to implement the blood-is-thicker-than-water rule and end a relationship — romantic or platonic — because of your family's objections?
The Manzo family is thick as thieves and poised to become reality TV stars when the Real Housewives of New Jersey airs tonight. They're also the first family-based set, plus one outsider for good measure, to star in the Bravo housewives franchise.
Based on the previews, the women will offer a different variety of topics for viewers' enjoyment. If you tune in, you'll witness intricate family drama, a 45-year-old woman chasing youth and love (OK, that's not new), and you'll hear a lot about "bubbies," aka breasts.
The show premieres tonight at 11 p.m. EST. Will you tune in?
