Polygamy

If the affable stars of Sister Wives make polygamy seem appealing, Warren Jeffs makes it look like a nightmare. Last week a jury convicted the 55-year-old leader and self-proclaimed prophet of the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, and today Jeffs was sentenced to life in prison for aggravated sexual assault with a child and 20 years for sexual assault of a child. In total, Warren Jeffs had 78 wives, including 12 whom he married before they turned 16. The youngest was 12.

Back when Jeffs was arrested in 2008 and authorities seized more than 400 children from the polygamous compound, the public became fascinated with the sect. The "children of the cult" got a People cover story, in which they discussed their exposure to mysterious modern marvels like TV and baseball while in custody. In 2009, Oprah infiltrated Jeffs's former compound and got a lesson in polygamous hair secrets, specifically how to master the Snooki-esque poof. When she asked about underage marriage, answers ranged from "absolutely not" to "not really."

Since then, polygamy has continued to hold a secure place in pop culture. HBO's Big Love inspired guided polygamy tours, and Kody Brown and his four wives, the family portrayed on TLC's Sister Wives, have turned plural married into a civil rights cause, suing Utah's governor alleging that by "criminalizing religious-based plural families and intimate relationships under the criminal bigamy law, Utah officials prosecute private conduct between consenting adults." Whether or not you think polygamy should be decriminalized, you can see the distinction between Brown and Jeffs: consenting adults vs. underage brides.

If your husband unfriends you on Facebook, beware. He might be planning to marry another woman without letting you know or bothering for a divorce.

Rhode Island man Richard Leon Barton Jr. got married in 2004, but hadn't seen his wife for a while after he got arrested and ended up in jail. She got suspicious when he unfriended her, so she started doing some snooping and found photos on Facebook of Richard's recent wedding to another woman! She called the police and now Richard has been charged with polygamy, which carries a possible four-year sentence. But the local paper explains he might end up in jail longer: "He could face more time as a repeat offender, not to mention an alleged repeat husband."

Just another warning to keep your illegal marriages off the Internet. Don't forget, Homeland Security uses Facebook to keep tabs on couples it suspects to be in fraudulent marriages for immigration purposes!

I've always rooted for the Hendricksons on Big Love as proof that love, however unusual, can prevail. As proof polygamy doesn't have to be oppressive and misogynistic, but a choice no different than any other relationship off the mainstream path. However, after last night's episode, "A Seat at the Table," — where everyone fights to be heard — enlightened polygamy seems more impossible than ever.

Despite all the jealously, drama, and politics, patience and forgiveness — both acts of love — is what has always pulled the Hendricksons together. So like a monogamous relationship, polygamy comes down to the individuals and their respect for each other, their bandwidth for challenges, and willingness to forgive.

Yet a polygamist marriage is like a giant, sprawling relationship: it creates more challenges and requires more selflessness, but still just seems like a big mess most of the time. I don't think anyone short of a saint could make it work. Love can't overcome an institution grounded in patriarchy, and I'm even more confident after last night's episode that the Hendricksons' marriage will at least partially dissolve by the series finale.

What do you predict?

The thread that holds Big Love together is its characters, and their way of life always teeters on falling apart. As the final season opened last night that was more true then ever (spoilers, ahoy!).

The Henricksons are out of the plural marriage closet and are riding out the press storm by camping in the desert. When they finally return to town, Margene loses her QVC-like business (fired for violating the "morality" clause) and is devastated, Barb is experimenting with red wine and telling Bill she doesn't think she needs him anymore, and Nicki wants him all to herself. We've already toyed with the men of Big Love, so now we've predicted what will become of its women below.

Long before Big Love and Sister Wives, Americans had a fascination with polygamy. In 1944, LIFE magazine sent photographer John Florea to Salt Lake City, UT to capture what life was like for polygamist men, the sister wives, and the many children they produced.

In the photo above, Rulon Clark Allred, a medical doctor, stands with his four wives, his mother, a few sisters-in-law, and many of his children. He would go on to have a total of seven wives (two of whom were identical twins) and 48 children. One of his daughters, Dorothy Allred Solomon, who was born after this photo was taken, tells LIFE how she got to spend time with her busy father:

He set my arm without any kind of anesthesia when I was in fifth grade. And it was really painful, and he was very brusque. I think I probably broke my arm so that I could see him. I know that sounds extreme, but that was one sure way we could see our dad. I didn't really purposely break it — but I was reckless that day, and I remember thinking, 'I'd sure love to see my dad.'

Find out more and see additional photos after the jump.

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News broke this week that police in Lehi, Utah are looking into prosecuting the Brown family, stars of TLC's new reality show Sister Wives, for being bigamists. According to the Salt Lake Tribune, Utah code "defines bigamy through cohabitation, not just through legal marriage contracts." As Sister Wives portrays the happily polygamist relationship of the aggressively cheerful Kody Brown and his wives Meri, Janelle, Christine and Robyn, it's not surprising that local cops don't appreciate the show—it not only celebrates an illegal relationship taking place in their town, it's also been receiving positive publicity from national publications.

And the show does show this polygamist family in a pretty glowing—and mesmerizing—way. Sister Wives is edited to make a four-wife household seem not only normal and relatable, but the wives also use the language of choice to make clear that their lifestyle is a conscious, wise decision—they're not being coerced into sharing one man.

In terms of how they normalize their unusual family structure, anyone who has watched other reality shows about large families (Kate Plus 8; 19 and Counting) will recognize the domestic scenes in Sister Wives: Watch them cook breakfast—just like you do, but supersized, with obligatory shots of enormous condiment containers! Watch them do yard work as a merry, laughing team! Listen to them talk about the nitty-gritty details of their family arrangement in a way that is familiar and appealing!

On this last point, I was especially struck by Janelle's narrative.