Marriage

Can the most wonderful time of the year also be the sexiest? You might think family time, overeating, and stressful shopping guarantee that the holidays are anything but sexy. Yet, sexual health expert Dr. Hilda Hutcherson says that doesn't have to be the case. She says the season has one thing going for it: time off, which you can spend together.

"No other time of year allows for quite a break, and while holiday duties may fill your schedule, it's important for you as a couple to take advantage of the newfound freedom," explains Dr. Hutcherson, who recently authored the Seasons of Love ebook. And she has one creative way to fill the time you set aside for you and your partner: start a relationship tradition. "Whether it is exchanging a present a few days early, planning a special date night, or playing hooky one day to find the perfect tree," Dr. Hutcherson tells me, "doing something special with your partner will make the Winter season just that, special." Another idea she offers: go see an action flick and agree to re-create some action when you get home.

If you're in a longterm relationship, do you have a special holiday tradition you've created together? Share them in the comments!

Keeping the spark alive in any marriage is something that both spouses need to work hard to achieve. Add a screaming baby, two sleepless new parents, and a new daily routine that everyone is still trying to get used to, and the flames of passion can be pretty hard to ignite! We asked relationship expert Andrea Syrtash — author of Cheat On Your Husband (With Your Husband) ($11) — to give us her top three tips for keeping the romance alive after baby arrives. Check it out!

1. Commit to a Regular Date Night: What does not count as a date night: watching TV, running to Costco, spending the entire date talking about the baby and the bills. If your baby is too young, set special time aside at home where you can connect as lovers — not just as coparents. One couple interviewed by Andrea picked an ethnic cuisine they tried to master together each month and then ate by candlelight.
2. Flirt: Send a sexy or thoughtful text or email during the day to show your partner you're thinking of him, compliment how good he looks, tease your husband, resurrect a few inside jokes that used to make you laugh . . . flirt, flirt, flirt! Courtship isn't only for dating.
3. Have Date Talk: One study showed that the average couple with kids speaks (uninterrupted) about 15 minutes a day. With a baby, couples tend to be too tired to talk — but talking (about nonstressful topics, not household chores, in-laws, or bills!) is essential in order to keep the spark alive. Stay curious about each other and you'll stay connected.

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

My husband and I have been together for almost three years. We met in March 2008, and started dating right away. We broke up in August because he said "he was still in love with his ex."He realized shortly after we broke up that he made a huge mistake and asked for me back and we got back together in January 2009, and got married in June 2011.

I don't know why but I can't stop obsessing about this ex that he broke up with me for. I look at her Facebook pictures, her Myspace, and I feel like I have to live up to this person I have never even met. I look at her pictures and think about how much prettier she is than me, even though when I showed her picture to some of my friends, they didn't think she is pretty at all. My husband does not even talk to her anymore, and he hasn't for years. I feel like a crazy person when I say that I feel like I have to live up to this person, when I don't even know her. Every time my husband and I get in a fight, I constantly have it running through my head that it's because he wants to be with her not me. But he married me so I don't know why I think that.

I tried talking to him about it too, I told him what I do . . . I ask him questions about their relationship, but why do I care so much and let it bother me? It also really bothers me that his friends bring her up sometimes too . . . I don't know why it bothers me so much and I don't know why I obsess over this person I don't know, but I feel like I can't get passed it and it's ruining our relationship.

I love my husband so much, and I would give anything to feel better and not let this haunt me. Please help.

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it anonymously to Group Therapy for advice, and check out what else is happening in the TrèsSugar Community.

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

Hi, I'm a 22-year-old girl from a strict Sikh family, where all my four sisters have had arranged marriages. I have been dating a guy from a Hindu family for four years. His family really likes me and we want to get married next year, but due to my parents we are afraid of the consequences.

My one sister is divorced, and yet my dad is very against love, and if he finds out that I love someone who is not in my cast there is going to be drama. My sister who is divorced also wanted to get married to someone she liked, but my dad apparently got "sick," and she was forced to marry someone who left her in six weeks. I really want to make my family believe that love marriage isn't a bad thing, and the person I love is financially stable and a good person. They even know him and his family, but they don't know about us. Can I please get help on how can make my family accept him.

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it anonymously to Group Therapy for advice, and check out what else is happening in the TrèsSugar Community.