Love and Relationships

This post comes from Group Therapy in our TrèsSugar Community. Feel free to add your advice in the comments!

I'm in my early 20s and I'm still a virgin. I didn't plan to still be a virgin by this point in my life . . . it just sort of worked out that way. So right now I'm dating this really cute guy and he's giving all these signs that he's ready to take the next step.

I know I should tell him about being a virgin and all that, but I don't want him to be disgusted or condescending when he finds out. I know I'll bleed during my first time and there's nothing that can be done about that, but I'd rather him find out AFTER (during?) the fact. What I really need help with is preparing myself in anyway possible. What should I expect? I've read romance books my whole life, so how much of that is true? What was it like your first time? I am so nervous just thinking about it. Please don't lecture me about not telling him or waiting longer for someone "special." I won't change my mind, I'd just really appreciate knowing what I'm doing. Thanks.

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Writing a dating profile is a laborious but necessary task if we ever want to meet anyone online. When I've created profiles, I viewed them not as a tool to tell potential suitors everything about me, but as a teaser and a litmus test.

I try to have fun while I write. I may or may not drink to make this happen, but I do whatever it takes to get motivated, which usually involves telling a friend I'll show her later (accountability!). Since someone who's quick with words is a dealmaker for me, I get playful. To explain I'm low-maintenance, I might describe myself as a plant: "Easy to maintain — requires little watering and less sunlight. Will grow anywhere. Brilliant fall color." If it's too cryptic for him, then he's too literal for me.

Humorist Dorothy Parker once said, "There must be a magnificent disregard of your reader, for if he cannot follow you, there is nothing you can do about it," and that pretty much sums my approach. What are your tricks for attracting the right element?

You know what would make a great show to put on after The Bachelor? Thirty men on a conveyor belt while five women — armed with signs that say "interested" and "not interested" — select dates after 60-second pitches. In fact, the premise of this SNL-esque show is not even the worst part! It's how 30 men choose to represent themselves with the minute they have to impress.

Of course, anyone who goes on a show called Conveyor Belt of Love (billed "30 men, five women, one conveyor belt" by ABC) is more interested in F-list fame than love, so I shouldn't be so surprised by the dubious seduction tactics. There's the guy who announces his virginity while making a balloon that looks not unlike a penis (he's almost picked), and the guy in a Speedo who carries his tiny dog onstage (he is picked), and then there are the pickup lines. Here are seven of the worst — but not by much!

1. "I've been contributing to my 401k since I was 18."
2. "A gentle kiss to the frontal lobe, while fine dining as we eat." (In a poem.)
3. "I do a show called 'Becoming a Man in 127 Easy Steps.'"
4. "I prefer to date in the cougar bracket, that's over 32."

To see the rest, read more

OnSugar blog Rantings of a Single Girl posted an online-dating dilemma. Can you help?

I reactivated my Match.com profile a while back. I've started emailing with a few guys, but they really haven't been going anywhere. But I've had my profile checked out by at least four 60+ year olds. One actually emailed me saying he was really interested in getting to know me, despite the 38 year age difference. That gives me the heebie-jeebies and makes me want to deactivate my account immediately, but boys will be boys at any age, I guess.

Back to the point here . . . I have been talking to one guy for about two weeks. He seems nice, is very open about himself, and appears to have a good head on his shoulders. Until yesterday when he dropped a bit of a mini bomb on me: he doesn't drive. At all. Now I admit he has a very good reason for not driving (I'm not going to get into detail, so don't ask), but wow. Then he says, "I hope that isn't a problem." Well, it kind of is.

Now the reason he doesn't drive isn't the problem, although I admit it would take some getting used to. It's the fact that he doesn't drive. He lives at least a good hour away from me. Actually I think it's more like one and a half hours . . . it's been a really long time since I've been over his direction. The fact that he doesn't drive means that I'll be doing all the driving if we were to date. I don't like that fact. This is why I don't like long distance relationships. They suck.

Read more about Rantings of Single Girl's dilemma after the jump.